International Journal of Coercion, Abuse, and Manipulation Volume 9 2026 26
mentor, confidant, or father figure. As one respondent
shared:
He would tell me that I looked pretty, that I
should wear my hair a certain way or dress a
certain way not to attract the boys in youth
group. I always felt like he was protective of me.
Another stated,
He gave me confidence in my skill set and
encouraged me to believe in myself and pointed
out the skills I had. I now know this was all part
of his way of trying to get me to trust him.
This tactic involves excessive attention, flattery, private
meetings, and personal disclosures, creating a false
sense of closeness and trust. Pastors may share personal
struggles, including marital issues, burnout, or conflicts
with church leadership, subtly testing boundaries
and assessing the congregant’s receptiveness. One
respondent shared:
I felt it [was] very strange when he started
telling me things about his relationship with his
wife. I did not know how to respond. I thought
they were the perfect Christian example of
marriage. I was very confused.
These disclosures aim to equalise the relationship,
masking the inherent power imbalance and eliciting
empathy, making the pastor appear vulnerable and
in need of support. A critical component of this
tactic is role reversal, where the pastor positions the
congregant as his confidant, reinforcing the belief
that their relationship is divinely ordained (Kennedy,
2009). By invoking God’s will, the pastor normalises
secrecy, asking congregants to keep confidential
matters about church operations, personal conflicts,
or his marriage. This triangulation of God intensifies
religious duress, making it difficult for the congregants
to refuse the pastor’s requests (Benkert &Doyle, 2009).
The privileged status of pastoral roles, which often
demands confidentiality and one-on-one engagement,
protects these interactions from scrutiny. Mullen
(2020) names excessive attention, charm, and flattery
as key tactics and argues that these tactics go unnoticed
in faith communities because the environment is one
in which exemplification is embedded in Evangelical
faith culture.
Tactic 3: Using dual roles
This tactic aligns with Stage 4, Meeting the Need and
Establishing Credentials, and Stage 5, Priming the
Target, in Sinnamon’s (2017) model. While Sinnamon
outlines how perpetrators consolidate trust and
introduce subtle sexualised dynamics, the present study
extends his model by illustrating how spiritual authority
and dual professional roles, such as counsellor, mentor,
or pastoral advisor, intensify the grooming process.
The high level of trust placed in pastoral roles meant
that spending time alone with a pastor did not initially
raise suspicion. As one respondent disclosed:
I didn’t think this was unusual at the time
spending time alone because I thought he was
acting as my dad, not as someone who was
trying to pursue me sexually.
Another noted:
He played an important role in my life as a
new Christian he was my young adult pastor,
so I felt loyalty to him. I liked him as a pastor
and we got along well.
This multiplicity of roles creates blurred boundaries,
making it difficult for ACMs to discern when pastoral
care shifted into manipulation or abuse. Notably, 74%
of respondents reported feeling confused about the
pastor’s role in their lives, highlighting how subtle
boundary crossings can mask grooming tactics as
pastoral concern (Garland &Argueta, 2010). This
confusion was particularly pronounced among those
seeking spiritual or therapeutic support, as nearly half of
the respondents were doing so when their victimisation
began. The disclosure of personal struggles to the pastor
increased emotional vulnerability, which perpetrators
exploited under the guise of pastoral care.
These findings align with Garland and Argueta’s
(2010) research, which found that more than half
of their participants (n =24) were abused while in a
counselling relationship with their religious leader, and
87% met with their faith leader alone on a regular basis
for some form of professional or ministerial service.
The addition of a pastoral context demonstrates how
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