Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 9, No. 1, 2010, Page 89
This piece shows how creative writing can help to communicate and integrate difficult
experiences such as the cult experience (Bolton, Field, and Thompson, 2006).
The Door
The signs on the door welcome me in. The colourful, beautiful people take my hand and smile at me. I
like what they are saying, it makes sense. They are obviously genuine because they smile and laugh
and touch each other warmly. They are generous too, offering me a free meal. They think I will fit with
what they are doing and tell me so. We are going to make the world a better place we are going to
save the world. It is so inviting. It fits so well because I have been looking for a way to make the world
a better place, to make myself a better person, to belong. I open the door and go in—I have nothing to
lose, what could go wrong?
I hear what their leader is saying as he teaches us about their beliefs, about how the world
is so full of pain, darkness, evil, sickness. I think about it, and know it‘s (partially) true. I
tell them that there is also beauty, richness, and life in the world.
They smile benignly and shut the door behind me.
I am happy to be in this special place, with special people, with a special purpose and
meaning to their lives. Now I belong.
They are so loving, so real, so committed, I feel full of pride to belong to such wonderful
people who move with such serenity and certainty, knowing what is right and wrong in the
world and for their lives. The work they do is wonderful, they work hard … I am not quite
sure what we practically do but living like this will make the world a more positive, less
negative place.
They tell me our leader knows the truth, he really understands the mysteries of the
universe, he really knows the Truth—if I listen to him—follow him—I will gain
enlightenment—be free of my negativity—be real……………
He tells me he understands the mysteries of the universe, he really knows the truth. I look and see this perfect
man, he is all I would want to be, all I am not. They tell me to listen to him, I do because I am beginning to see
they are right—I am nothing in comparison to him. When he notices me I feel so special, I belong in a deeper way
than ever.
Then sometimes…..
I do things wrong, I make a mistake and they tell me I am falling short. I need his help, his love, and his body to
make me whole he is what is missing from me. I am not sure but I remember how good he is and I believe him
because he is my life, my breath, my permission to live. I attach myself to him.
I enjoy my life. I‘m doing the right thing. I am confused, they say I did something wrong
they are angry with me, I don‘t know what or which or why……..
They say
he is not pleased with me
I‘ve failed
sinned, polluted the group by my negativity
my memories
of hurt
abandonment as a child
This piece shows how creative writing can help to communicate and integrate difficult
experiences such as the cult experience (Bolton, Field, and Thompson, 2006).
The Door
The signs on the door welcome me in. The colourful, beautiful people take my hand and smile at me. I
like what they are saying, it makes sense. They are obviously genuine because they smile and laugh
and touch each other warmly. They are generous too, offering me a free meal. They think I will fit with
what they are doing and tell me so. We are going to make the world a better place we are going to
save the world. It is so inviting. It fits so well because I have been looking for a way to make the world
a better place, to make myself a better person, to belong. I open the door and go in—I have nothing to
lose, what could go wrong?
I hear what their leader is saying as he teaches us about their beliefs, about how the world
is so full of pain, darkness, evil, sickness. I think about it, and know it‘s (partially) true. I
tell them that there is also beauty, richness, and life in the world.
They smile benignly and shut the door behind me.
I am happy to be in this special place, with special people, with a special purpose and
meaning to their lives. Now I belong.
They are so loving, so real, so committed, I feel full of pride to belong to such wonderful
people who move with such serenity and certainty, knowing what is right and wrong in the
world and for their lives. The work they do is wonderful, they work hard … I am not quite
sure what we practically do but living like this will make the world a more positive, less
negative place.
They tell me our leader knows the truth, he really understands the mysteries of the
universe, he really knows the Truth—if I listen to him—follow him—I will gain
enlightenment—be free of my negativity—be real……………
He tells me he understands the mysteries of the universe, he really knows the truth. I look and see this perfect
man, he is all I would want to be, all I am not. They tell me to listen to him, I do because I am beginning to see
they are right—I am nothing in comparison to him. When he notices me I feel so special, I belong in a deeper way
than ever.
Then sometimes…..
I do things wrong, I make a mistake and they tell me I am falling short. I need his help, his love, and his body to
make me whole he is what is missing from me. I am not sure but I remember how good he is and I believe him
because he is my life, my breath, my permission to live. I attach myself to him.
I enjoy my life. I‘m doing the right thing. I am confused, they say I did something wrong
they are angry with me, I don‘t know what or which or why……..
They say
he is not pleased with me
I‘ve failed
sinned, polluted the group by my negativity
my memories
of hurt
abandonment as a child
