Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 9, No. 1, 2010, Page 129
haunted by the cult admonition when my daughter suddenly said, ―But daddy, black is
good!‖ Surprised at her comment, I answered quizzically, ―Okay…it‘s good?‖ That was the
end of the conversation. I do not recall ever saying anything to her about black. I am not
claiming that I did not say something sometime to her—I may have dissociated and said
something out loud right then— but the coincidence was uncanny nevertheless, even jolting.
It may have been a day later, after I dropped her off at her mother‘s place and returned to
my studio, that I noticed my daughter‘s Raggedy Ann doll that she left behind. The limp doll
faced me as it leaned over on the small green sofa that served as my daughter‘s bed. The
stark red hair of the doll grabbed my attention. I began to shed tears. I ―asked‖ the doll to
forgive me for condemning it for the color of its hair. That experience penetrated me in
what I can only describe as a spiritual insight. I never had a ―religious‖ problem with my
palette again.
These two ―aha‖ color events illustrate in a small way how an aesthetic experience aided in
my recovery from irrational and practically useless if not debilitating cult ideas. I had a host
of these. I wish to point out how sensual signals perform as ―triggers‖ to stimulate
compliance to cult milieu and doctrine. Unloading all the cult-induced meaning (all black is
bad) from signs in the environment can seem nearly impossible at first despite therapeutic
assistance.
To be effective, I think, therapy of any kind should take into account the context and history
of the delusional belief that affects a cult member‘s aesthetic world. As an exit counselor, I
challenge false beliefs by introducing a wide frame of reference based on reasonable
evidence—totalist cults by nature restrict information and choice in closed systems. My role
is to encourage reasonable psychological, social, and intellectual expansion. For example,
one of my clients, a young lady who was a dedicated CUT member for six years, left the cult
after talking with me and a colleague for several days. Her parents arranged a non-coercive
intervention at their home in Florida. A week later I escorted the now ex-member to the
Unbound recovery center in Iowa but it was cold there and she needed a coat. She
experienced near panic when, with my encouragement, she tried on a red jacket at a mall.
She was not yet ready for red! Recovery required months for that ex-member to restore
black and red to a wider and positive frame of reference. She needed to learn more about
the source of the color code and its flimsy justification to dispel it. In my case, after making
the emotional and intellectual adjustments, I could relate to colors appropriately and
individually in short order. In contrast to my client who had little background in comparative
occultism, I already knew the history of how conflicted occultists were (and are) over the
spiritual effects of color. Goethe saw red as ―grave and magnificent‖ (Goethe, p. 315)
whereas the ―I AM‖ cult saw red as anger and charged with inappropriate sexual
excitement, and Corinne Heline claims, ―Red is the color whereby the Holy Spirit manifests
the Activity Principle‖ (Heline, p. 40). I was struggling with a philosophical conflict: Was
there any ideal or Platonic universal regarding color? Might black always be a negative? This
weird color revelation through my daughter reestablished my appreciation for color and
styles of art like Cubism prohibited by the cult. I grasped that I was not capable of finding a
universal theme for black, nor was there any compelling reason for me to pursue an
absolute. I was neither God nor a god. Consequently, I could again enjoy a Picasso, a
Pisarro and a Pollock if I chose to. However, even if I could afford it, I doubt I would pay
millions of dollars for a ceramic urinal even if it is a wonderful, historical joke.
Tangled up in G
Dark forces come in many guises. I want to take a brief look at one more controversial
movement I studied as a seeker that has impacted a number of artists and creative
designers. During my exit counseling career since 1980 I have encountered members of a
variety of cults that used G. I. Gurdjieff‘s methods and revelations. Gurdjieff died in 1949 a
year after serious complications from a motor vehicle accident. He was in his seventies—no
haunted by the cult admonition when my daughter suddenly said, ―But daddy, black is
good!‖ Surprised at her comment, I answered quizzically, ―Okay…it‘s good?‖ That was the
end of the conversation. I do not recall ever saying anything to her about black. I am not
claiming that I did not say something sometime to her—I may have dissociated and said
something out loud right then— but the coincidence was uncanny nevertheless, even jolting.
It may have been a day later, after I dropped her off at her mother‘s place and returned to
my studio, that I noticed my daughter‘s Raggedy Ann doll that she left behind. The limp doll
faced me as it leaned over on the small green sofa that served as my daughter‘s bed. The
stark red hair of the doll grabbed my attention. I began to shed tears. I ―asked‖ the doll to
forgive me for condemning it for the color of its hair. That experience penetrated me in
what I can only describe as a spiritual insight. I never had a ―religious‖ problem with my
palette again.
These two ―aha‖ color events illustrate in a small way how an aesthetic experience aided in
my recovery from irrational and practically useless if not debilitating cult ideas. I had a host
of these. I wish to point out how sensual signals perform as ―triggers‖ to stimulate
compliance to cult milieu and doctrine. Unloading all the cult-induced meaning (all black is
bad) from signs in the environment can seem nearly impossible at first despite therapeutic
assistance.
To be effective, I think, therapy of any kind should take into account the context and history
of the delusional belief that affects a cult member‘s aesthetic world. As an exit counselor, I
challenge false beliefs by introducing a wide frame of reference based on reasonable
evidence—totalist cults by nature restrict information and choice in closed systems. My role
is to encourage reasonable psychological, social, and intellectual expansion. For example,
one of my clients, a young lady who was a dedicated CUT member for six years, left the cult
after talking with me and a colleague for several days. Her parents arranged a non-coercive
intervention at their home in Florida. A week later I escorted the now ex-member to the
Unbound recovery center in Iowa but it was cold there and she needed a coat. She
experienced near panic when, with my encouragement, she tried on a red jacket at a mall.
She was not yet ready for red! Recovery required months for that ex-member to restore
black and red to a wider and positive frame of reference. She needed to learn more about
the source of the color code and its flimsy justification to dispel it. In my case, after making
the emotional and intellectual adjustments, I could relate to colors appropriately and
individually in short order. In contrast to my client who had little background in comparative
occultism, I already knew the history of how conflicted occultists were (and are) over the
spiritual effects of color. Goethe saw red as ―grave and magnificent‖ (Goethe, p. 315)
whereas the ―I AM‖ cult saw red as anger and charged with inappropriate sexual
excitement, and Corinne Heline claims, ―Red is the color whereby the Holy Spirit manifests
the Activity Principle‖ (Heline, p. 40). I was struggling with a philosophical conflict: Was
there any ideal or Platonic universal regarding color? Might black always be a negative? This
weird color revelation through my daughter reestablished my appreciation for color and
styles of art like Cubism prohibited by the cult. I grasped that I was not capable of finding a
universal theme for black, nor was there any compelling reason for me to pursue an
absolute. I was neither God nor a god. Consequently, I could again enjoy a Picasso, a
Pisarro and a Pollock if I chose to. However, even if I could afford it, I doubt I would pay
millions of dollars for a ceramic urinal even if it is a wonderful, historical joke.
Tangled up in G
Dark forces come in many guises. I want to take a brief look at one more controversial
movement I studied as a seeker that has impacted a number of artists and creative
designers. During my exit counseling career since 1980 I have encountered members of a
variety of cults that used G. I. Gurdjieff‘s methods and revelations. Gurdjieff died in 1949 a
year after serious complications from a motor vehicle accident. He was in his seventies—no
