Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 9, No. 1, 2010, Page 66
14. Chanting, contemplating, or praying, or ―by-passing the mind,‖ are primary ways to
solve problems
15. Anyone outside the cult, including family and friends, is unenlightened, ―less than,‖
negative, or inferior to ―the chosen ones‖
16. ―Bad karma‖ in this life (or those preceding it), or one‘s ―negative‖ thoughts are
the direct cause of current situations that result in suffering.
How did I get involved in a process that so fundamentally shifted my perception of reality?
As an impressionable 19-year-old, I was approached by a man selling massage chairs at a
Japanese exhibition. Although he didn‘t sell me the chair, he eventually sold me on
Eckankar. In a revealing double entendre, he asked with a sly grin, ―Can I turn you on?,‖
while flipping the switch on the chair. My immediate impression was that this man was both
odd and needy, perhaps even somewhat dangerous. I disregarded my impulse to walk
away, partly because I was curious and partly because of my instinct to take care of others
in need. He used this opportunity to promote a new spiritual movement seeking
―enlightened‖ new members. Spiritual values were important to me, and the possibility of
belonging to a community that focused on these values seemed an answer to what I was
seeking. I began reading the literature.
My indoctrination had begun. It continued through his introduction of books on Eckankar
and hours of discussion on the subject. I was intrigued by many aspects of the ―teaching,‖
but also extremely skeptical. Some of the ideas seemed like science fiction. After spending
several days and sleepless nights learning about the organization, I had an unusual and
frightening auditory hallucination of a voice saying, ―You are dying.‖ My recruiter and the
Eckankar literature eventually convinced me that the hallucination was the death of my
―lower self,‖ which I was transcending now that I was on the path to developing my ―higher
self.‖ By now I was becoming a true believer, in a process that has been described as
―snapping.‖ (Conway, F., Siegelman, J. 1978). I have since realized that the voice I heard
was a warning signaled by my unconscious/conscious appraisal of the dangers ahead.
Thirteen years my senior, the recruiter eventually became my husband, in a marriage that
lasted seven years. During that time, we served as designated leaders of Eckankar in
Southern California, and nearly all of our activities and socializing were organized around
Eckankar events. As unpaid volunteers (with the exception of my short-term employment as
a secretary), we started and maintained the first Eckankar Center, taught classes, led
discussion groups, and held introductory lectures. I co-directed the first youth seminar, and
founded and edited a newsletter. I genuinely believed I was a ―co-worker with God,‖ doing
what I came to believe was the most important job in the world. As a ―higher initiate,‖ it
was my duty to meet others with a ―soul to soul‖ perspective, connecting with the healthy,
wise, powerful, part of themselves that transcended race, gender, religion, socio-economic
class, sexual preference, and circumstance. It was my mission to bring souls to the
―master.‖
I now understand that I was used as a tool to serve the leader‘s need for increased
membership and therefore increased income. I was in a community that valued spirituality
over materialism with double standards. As ―co-workers,‖ most of us lived very modestly,
giving whatever we could to support the leader‘s lifestyle.
Helping others understand Eckankar seemed to arise from a spiritual intent, but I had
unconsciously colluded with the leader‘s narcissistic, megalomaniac strivings. During group
interactions, I emulated the behavior of new recruits and older members. This behavior
seemed very satisfying at the time, but it was in reality better described as ―love bombing,‖
an exchange of affection (verbally and through smiles) that failed to express genuine
intimacy or connection to others. (Loomis, R. 1999). It led to a shared narcissistic glow and
14. Chanting, contemplating, or praying, or ―by-passing the mind,‖ are primary ways to
solve problems
15. Anyone outside the cult, including family and friends, is unenlightened, ―less than,‖
negative, or inferior to ―the chosen ones‖
16. ―Bad karma‖ in this life (or those preceding it), or one‘s ―negative‖ thoughts are
the direct cause of current situations that result in suffering.
How did I get involved in a process that so fundamentally shifted my perception of reality?
As an impressionable 19-year-old, I was approached by a man selling massage chairs at a
Japanese exhibition. Although he didn‘t sell me the chair, he eventually sold me on
Eckankar. In a revealing double entendre, he asked with a sly grin, ―Can I turn you on?,‖
while flipping the switch on the chair. My immediate impression was that this man was both
odd and needy, perhaps even somewhat dangerous. I disregarded my impulse to walk
away, partly because I was curious and partly because of my instinct to take care of others
in need. He used this opportunity to promote a new spiritual movement seeking
―enlightened‖ new members. Spiritual values were important to me, and the possibility of
belonging to a community that focused on these values seemed an answer to what I was
seeking. I began reading the literature.
My indoctrination had begun. It continued through his introduction of books on Eckankar
and hours of discussion on the subject. I was intrigued by many aspects of the ―teaching,‖
but also extremely skeptical. Some of the ideas seemed like science fiction. After spending
several days and sleepless nights learning about the organization, I had an unusual and
frightening auditory hallucination of a voice saying, ―You are dying.‖ My recruiter and the
Eckankar literature eventually convinced me that the hallucination was the death of my
―lower self,‖ which I was transcending now that I was on the path to developing my ―higher
self.‖ By now I was becoming a true believer, in a process that has been described as
―snapping.‖ (Conway, F., Siegelman, J. 1978). I have since realized that the voice I heard
was a warning signaled by my unconscious/conscious appraisal of the dangers ahead.
Thirteen years my senior, the recruiter eventually became my husband, in a marriage that
lasted seven years. During that time, we served as designated leaders of Eckankar in
Southern California, and nearly all of our activities and socializing were organized around
Eckankar events. As unpaid volunteers (with the exception of my short-term employment as
a secretary), we started and maintained the first Eckankar Center, taught classes, led
discussion groups, and held introductory lectures. I co-directed the first youth seminar, and
founded and edited a newsletter. I genuinely believed I was a ―co-worker with God,‖ doing
what I came to believe was the most important job in the world. As a ―higher initiate,‖ it
was my duty to meet others with a ―soul to soul‖ perspective, connecting with the healthy,
wise, powerful, part of themselves that transcended race, gender, religion, socio-economic
class, sexual preference, and circumstance. It was my mission to bring souls to the
―master.‖
I now understand that I was used as a tool to serve the leader‘s need for increased
membership and therefore increased income. I was in a community that valued spirituality
over materialism with double standards. As ―co-workers,‖ most of us lived very modestly,
giving whatever we could to support the leader‘s lifestyle.
Helping others understand Eckankar seemed to arise from a spiritual intent, but I had
unconsciously colluded with the leader‘s narcissistic, megalomaniac strivings. During group
interactions, I emulated the behavior of new recruits and older members. This behavior
seemed very satisfying at the time, but it was in reality better described as ―love bombing,‖
an exchange of affection (verbally and through smiles) that failed to express genuine
intimacy or connection to others. (Loomis, R. 1999). It led to a shared narcissistic glow and
