Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 9, No. 1, 2010, Page 75
―Yes, I have,‖ Karin says, nodding many times. ―I think I‘m a bit tipsy. I‘m a
little tipsy. I really am squiffy. Come and take me now. I‘m in rather a hurry.
At least give me a kiss and say you forgive me.‖ She embraces him and
kisses him. He strikes her across the face. She stumbles to one side the blow
has caught her hard on the cheek and mouth. Tears of rage, amazement, and
humiliation spring to her eyes. David seizes a chair and hurls it along the
floor it ends up broken in a corner.
―No one has ever struck me,‖ Karin says after a while. ―I‘ve never been hit in
all my life...‖
―...Get out,‖ he says coldly. ―Go to hell. Go home to your blasted paragon...‖
But his impotent rage isn‘t spent yet. ―I‘m tired of you, I‘m glad it‘s all over.
I‘m bored and fed up, do you hear?‖
Karin stops, turns around, looks at him. ―Poor David,‖ she says in a different
tone of voice. ―Poor David and poor Karin. What a hard time we‘re going to
have...‖ (p.28)
After a while:
They are back in the darkening room. They are back in each other, in
tenderness and intimacy and forgiveness, but also in a secret despair which
aches deep down in their innermost communion. (p.29)
Bergman brings us face to face with the vulnerability of the victim and the cruelty of the
perpetrator. The story also illustrates the difficulty in ending such a relationship. And just
because one walks away doesn‘t mean the pathogenic beliefs from the trauma are
disconfirmed. The process of leaving abusive relationships or groups can take years. I had a
plan to first become ―inactive,‖ followed by the intensive acting experience and other
adaptive experiences in my life. It took me eight years to finally terminate my membership
with Eckankar.
After she has left David, Karin reflects on her experience when her daughter asks, ―Were
you going to clear out and leave us and live with that David?‖
―…I don‘t know what to say,‖ she answers. ―I never thought of you and Anders and Daddy. I
didn‘t think at all (emphasis added).‖ (P. 53)
At the end of the story, David tries one last time to convince Karin to stay with him. Karin
says:
―I don‘t care about security anymore… I don‘t bother about it because I know there
isn‘t any security except what you create from inside yourself….‖ She has nothing
more to say. ―Goodbye, David. You must let me go now. There‘s no point in this.
We‘ve nothing more to talk about… No one has done me so much harm as you. No
one has done me so much good. All the same, I‘m not coming with you, David…‖
(p.56)
Real-Life Roles
My office in Mill Valley, California is also the place I‘ve called ―home‖ for the past 22 years.
In a lovely village where the Miwok Native Americans once lived, it‘s nestled close to the
magnificent Redwood trees, covering the valleys and ridges of Mt. Tamalpais and within 10
miles of the Pacific Ocean and San Francisco. As I write, dense fog slowly drifts over the top
of the ridge densely carpeted with ancient Redwoods and across the deep, narrow valley, a
vibrant contrast of white and green against the soft bluish twilight. This view is at once
inspiring, mysterious and timeless… one that imparts reverence and wonder.
―Yes, I have,‖ Karin says, nodding many times. ―I think I‘m a bit tipsy. I‘m a
little tipsy. I really am squiffy. Come and take me now. I‘m in rather a hurry.
At least give me a kiss and say you forgive me.‖ She embraces him and
kisses him. He strikes her across the face. She stumbles to one side the blow
has caught her hard on the cheek and mouth. Tears of rage, amazement, and
humiliation spring to her eyes. David seizes a chair and hurls it along the
floor it ends up broken in a corner.
―No one has ever struck me,‖ Karin says after a while. ―I‘ve never been hit in
all my life...‖
―...Get out,‖ he says coldly. ―Go to hell. Go home to your blasted paragon...‖
But his impotent rage isn‘t spent yet. ―I‘m tired of you, I‘m glad it‘s all over.
I‘m bored and fed up, do you hear?‖
Karin stops, turns around, looks at him. ―Poor David,‖ she says in a different
tone of voice. ―Poor David and poor Karin. What a hard time we‘re going to
have...‖ (p.28)
After a while:
They are back in the darkening room. They are back in each other, in
tenderness and intimacy and forgiveness, but also in a secret despair which
aches deep down in their innermost communion. (p.29)
Bergman brings us face to face with the vulnerability of the victim and the cruelty of the
perpetrator. The story also illustrates the difficulty in ending such a relationship. And just
because one walks away doesn‘t mean the pathogenic beliefs from the trauma are
disconfirmed. The process of leaving abusive relationships or groups can take years. I had a
plan to first become ―inactive,‖ followed by the intensive acting experience and other
adaptive experiences in my life. It took me eight years to finally terminate my membership
with Eckankar.
After she has left David, Karin reflects on her experience when her daughter asks, ―Were
you going to clear out and leave us and live with that David?‖
―…I don‘t know what to say,‖ she answers. ―I never thought of you and Anders and Daddy. I
didn‘t think at all (emphasis added).‖ (P. 53)
At the end of the story, David tries one last time to convince Karin to stay with him. Karin
says:
―I don‘t care about security anymore… I don‘t bother about it because I know there
isn‘t any security except what you create from inside yourself….‖ She has nothing
more to say. ―Goodbye, David. You must let me go now. There‘s no point in this.
We‘ve nothing more to talk about… No one has done me so much harm as you. No
one has done me so much good. All the same, I‘m not coming with you, David…‖
(p.56)
Real-Life Roles
My office in Mill Valley, California is also the place I‘ve called ―home‖ for the past 22 years.
In a lovely village where the Miwok Native Americans once lived, it‘s nestled close to the
magnificent Redwood trees, covering the valleys and ridges of Mt. Tamalpais and within 10
miles of the Pacific Ocean and San Francisco. As I write, dense fog slowly drifts over the top
of the ridge densely carpeted with ancient Redwoods and across the deep, narrow valley, a
vibrant contrast of white and green against the soft bluish twilight. This view is at once
inspiring, mysterious and timeless… one that imparts reverence and wonder.
