Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 47
Exercise- Self-Assessment
Try asking yourself the following questions and writing down the answers: What
activities can I do well? What skills do I have? Which feelings can I hear well?
Which thinking faculties are strong (for example, listening assessment,
perception, reason)? What are my strengths at work? With friends? At school?
At home? What areas need improvement? How could I improve these areas?
Give details and timeframes.
Remember, you are worth the effort. You can learn to make good decisions.
Stick with it. You can do it.
Hang in there! Remember, "steady as she goes."
Going Back to School
To learn new skills, test expectations, and stimulate the mind try going back to
school. I went back to finish my B.A. I looked around for something at night
that I could afford and someone suggested Harvard's Extension University.
"Who, me? At Harvard? You've got to be kidding!" But when I found it cost less
than other local colleges, I decided to bite the bullet. Five years later, I walked
through the yard in my graduation gown laughing at the cult and awfully darn
proud of me.
The most wonderful thing happened to me there, I rediscovered the wonder and
excitement of learning and of thinking. It was very stimulating and very hard,
but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself, not only as an ex-cultist
but also as a woman.
There are many local adult education courses offered these days, many for
credit toward a degree. If you decide to give it a try, I suggest that the first
class or two be on a subject that really turns you on. Try not to get bogged
down in the "shoulds." Let the first class be just for fun.
Because so many of us have lost so much time while in the cult, the temptation
is to jump right into trying to catch up. But, I'd really like to suggest that the
first course be just for fun-sort of "rev the engines." There is such a sense of
hopelessness that can drag you down during recovery that it can be very
healing to get excited about "Brazilian Rainforests," "Quantum Mechanics," "Bill
Shakespeare" or whatever subject turns you on. (Those in support positions to
the ex-cultist need to back off with the "shoulds" here.)
Exercise- Learning Assessment
Think about a time when you had a lot of fun learning something. What did you
learn? How did you learn it? What made it fun? Think about a painful learning
experience. What did you learn? How did you (have to) learn it? What made it
painful? Write down what makes learning fun for you. How can you structure
future learning events so they are fun?
Learning Styles
Recently, I've learned something really quite interesting while at work. It is that
Exercise- Self-Assessment
Try asking yourself the following questions and writing down the answers: What
activities can I do well? What skills do I have? Which feelings can I hear well?
Which thinking faculties are strong (for example, listening assessment,
perception, reason)? What are my strengths at work? With friends? At school?
At home? What areas need improvement? How could I improve these areas?
Give details and timeframes.
Remember, you are worth the effort. You can learn to make good decisions.
Stick with it. You can do it.
Hang in there! Remember, "steady as she goes."
Going Back to School
To learn new skills, test expectations, and stimulate the mind try going back to
school. I went back to finish my B.A. I looked around for something at night
that I could afford and someone suggested Harvard's Extension University.
"Who, me? At Harvard? You've got to be kidding!" But when I found it cost less
than other local colleges, I decided to bite the bullet. Five years later, I walked
through the yard in my graduation gown laughing at the cult and awfully darn
proud of me.
The most wonderful thing happened to me there, I rediscovered the wonder and
excitement of learning and of thinking. It was very stimulating and very hard,
but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself, not only as an ex-cultist
but also as a woman.
There are many local adult education courses offered these days, many for
credit toward a degree. If you decide to give it a try, I suggest that the first
class or two be on a subject that really turns you on. Try not to get bogged
down in the "shoulds." Let the first class be just for fun.
Because so many of us have lost so much time while in the cult, the temptation
is to jump right into trying to catch up. But, I'd really like to suggest that the
first course be just for fun-sort of "rev the engines." There is such a sense of
hopelessness that can drag you down during recovery that it can be very
healing to get excited about "Brazilian Rainforests," "Quantum Mechanics," "Bill
Shakespeare" or whatever subject turns you on. (Those in support positions to
the ex-cultist need to back off with the "shoulds" here.)
Exercise- Learning Assessment
Think about a time when you had a lot of fun learning something. What did you
learn? How did you learn it? What made it fun? Think about a painful learning
experience. What did you learn? How did you (have to) learn it? What made it
painful? Write down what makes learning fun for you. How can you structure
future learning events so they are fun?
Learning Styles
Recently, I've learned something really quite interesting while at work. It is that
