Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 44
perspective of life's continual renewal.
Life Regenerates and Evolves
While I was in the depths of depression and hopelessness, I went to the
wedding of an ex-cultist with Brian and Steve, also ex-cultists. The wedding only
made me feel more depressed. There was no one special in my life. Maybe, I
thought, I had missed the man for me while in the cult. Maybe I'd be alone
forever.
On the way home from the wedding, the three of us got to talking. Steve said
something that really "clicked" for me and was the spark that helped me start
out of the seemingly endless depression I had been in.
He talked of how civilization was evolving. That humanity was different now
from what it was 100 years ago and would be different 100 years from now
(Bucke, 1923). "Really?," I asked. "Do you really think people are learning and
changing?" "Definitely," he replied. So I began to wonder. Are we as a people
different for the struggles and tears of those who came before us? Have the
accomplishments of others helped us to be a better people, a different people?
Making a Difference
I looked to nature for some insight about evolution. Nature certainly was
changing, always adapting to its ever-changing environment. But was life
getting better? I looked back in history and pondered the development of
modem medicine, agriculture, mental health, and more. Certainly, the child
labor laws no longer allowed children to be abused in industry as they were in
the sweatshops of years ago.
It seemed that humanity was capable of many achievements along the
continuum between good and evil. It became quite clear as I kept thinking
about it, that people could change. Some people anyway. Enough people could
change, I thought, to make the effort of my life worthwhile. I couldn't save the
world anymore, but my life could still make a difference. I realized that there
was a reason to face the struggle of recovery and stick with it other than my
own gratification. There was a reason to try to put the pieces of my life back
together in a healthier way. My life could make a difference.
I realized, however, that to make a difference would require many different
kinds of skills. I would have to learn to use the skills I did have and acquire the
skills I didn't have. What. good would it be if I was very good at something, but
nobody was listening to me?
Exercise- Skills and Strengths
List at least five of your strengths or skills (example: organized, artistic). How
could these skills and strengths be used to make your community a better
place?
perspective of life's continual renewal.
Life Regenerates and Evolves
While I was in the depths of depression and hopelessness, I went to the
wedding of an ex-cultist with Brian and Steve, also ex-cultists. The wedding only
made me feel more depressed. There was no one special in my life. Maybe, I
thought, I had missed the man for me while in the cult. Maybe I'd be alone
forever.
On the way home from the wedding, the three of us got to talking. Steve said
something that really "clicked" for me and was the spark that helped me start
out of the seemingly endless depression I had been in.
He talked of how civilization was evolving. That humanity was different now
from what it was 100 years ago and would be different 100 years from now
(Bucke, 1923). "Really?," I asked. "Do you really think people are learning and
changing?" "Definitely," he replied. So I began to wonder. Are we as a people
different for the struggles and tears of those who came before us? Have the
accomplishments of others helped us to be a better people, a different people?
Making a Difference
I looked to nature for some insight about evolution. Nature certainly was
changing, always adapting to its ever-changing environment. But was life
getting better? I looked back in history and pondered the development of
modem medicine, agriculture, mental health, and more. Certainly, the child
labor laws no longer allowed children to be abused in industry as they were in
the sweatshops of years ago.
It seemed that humanity was capable of many achievements along the
continuum between good and evil. It became quite clear as I kept thinking
about it, that people could change. Some people anyway. Enough people could
change, I thought, to make the effort of my life worthwhile. I couldn't save the
world anymore, but my life could still make a difference. I realized that there
was a reason to face the struggle of recovery and stick with it other than my
own gratification. There was a reason to try to put the pieces of my life back
together in a healthier way. My life could make a difference.
I realized, however, that to make a difference would require many different
kinds of skills. I would have to learn to use the skills I did have and acquire the
skills I didn't have. What. good would it be if I was very good at something, but
nobody was listening to me?
Exercise- Skills and Strengths
List at least five of your strengths or skills (example: organized, artistic). How
could these skills and strengths be used to make your community a better
place?
