Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 13
Other Sources of Help
Some ex-cultists may spend one to several weeks in a residential rehab facility
that specializes in cult issues. Other ex-cultists study, go to ex-cult or trauma
support groups, get counseling, write, draw, or dance.
Some make career goals, which may involve going back to school. Some need
housing, day care, legal assistance, and medical attention. Almost all need
thorough medical, dental, and eye exams. Most need lots of sleep, good
nutrition, and moderate regular exercise. And all need to talk out their
experiences with family, friends, and/or a therapist. There are many good books
on the above topics. Check out your libraries, bookstores, and even the phone
directory, which often list help centers in your area.
The real work of recovery is not to "get on with things" or to go back into the
cult and save others, but, most importantly, it is to go through the work and
pain of integrating the experience into a whole and more healthy you. This won't
just happen, like some mystical revelation. It's going to take work and planning
by you.
Where Are You Going to Live?
If, like me, you had no money after exiting the cult, you may have gone (or will
go) to where a family member lives. Painfully, you may have had to leave your
loved ones and possessions behind in order to get free.
Those exiting with dependents of their own, children and/or elderly parents,
may have additional difficulty in locating affordable housing. Also, without a job
history, it can be difficult to find work and pay living expenses. With all the
emotional difficulties of recovery, even if you find a job it may be tough to keep
it once the numbness wears off and depression sets in.
I do not have a quick and easy answer to this problem. You can contact your
state agency for housing and ask for help. There may be a friend, coworker, or
relative who can help out. Perhaps you could get a scholarship and go back to
school.
No Hidden Agendas
If you have a choice of where to live, live with someone who will encourage you
to make your own decisions. If you come from a family that is overprotective or
domineering and you can avoid returning to that environment, you may want to
consider getting your own apartment or staying with a friend.
Your self-confidence will be fragile and shaky at first. You need to be around
healthy people who can nurture you in a way that encourages you to make your
own decisions. You do not need to be around people who want to influence you
with their hidden agendas. This can be very terrifying because it will remind you
of the manipulation of the cult.
Other Sources of Help
Some ex-cultists may spend one to several weeks in a residential rehab facility
that specializes in cult issues. Other ex-cultists study, go to ex-cult or trauma
support groups, get counseling, write, draw, or dance.
Some make career goals, which may involve going back to school. Some need
housing, day care, legal assistance, and medical attention. Almost all need
thorough medical, dental, and eye exams. Most need lots of sleep, good
nutrition, and moderate regular exercise. And all need to talk out their
experiences with family, friends, and/or a therapist. There are many good books
on the above topics. Check out your libraries, bookstores, and even the phone
directory, which often list help centers in your area.
The real work of recovery is not to "get on with things" or to go back into the
cult and save others, but, most importantly, it is to go through the work and
pain of integrating the experience into a whole and more healthy you. This won't
just happen, like some mystical revelation. It's going to take work and planning
by you.
Where Are You Going to Live?
If, like me, you had no money after exiting the cult, you may have gone (or will
go) to where a family member lives. Painfully, you may have had to leave your
loved ones and possessions behind in order to get free.
Those exiting with dependents of their own, children and/or elderly parents,
may have additional difficulty in locating affordable housing. Also, without a job
history, it can be difficult to find work and pay living expenses. With all the
emotional difficulties of recovery, even if you find a job it may be tough to keep
it once the numbness wears off and depression sets in.
I do not have a quick and easy answer to this problem. You can contact your
state agency for housing and ask for help. There may be a friend, coworker, or
relative who can help out. Perhaps you could get a scholarship and go back to
school.
No Hidden Agendas
If you have a choice of where to live, live with someone who will encourage you
to make your own decisions. If you come from a family that is overprotective or
domineering and you can avoid returning to that environment, you may want to
consider getting your own apartment or staying with a friend.
Your self-confidence will be fragile and shaky at first. You need to be around
healthy people who can nurture you in a way that encourages you to make your
own decisions. You do not need to be around people who want to influence you
with their hidden agendas. This can be very terrifying because it will remind you
of the manipulation of the cult.
