Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 12
Building a Recovery Plan
When athletes are hurt, coaches often design a recovery plan. I suggest ex-
cultists do the same thing. There has usually been a lot of damage done to the
body, emotions, mind, and spirit. My father once remarked to my brother, who
couldn't understand why I wasn't "getting on with my life" after several months
of recovery, that Wendy had been hit by a kind of Mack truck. "You just
wouldn't expect her to get up and start running again in a short while." It was
going to take time and it was going to take help from others. As I mentioned
earlier, healing these wounds takes time, discipline, and courage. A plan can
help provide a framework and a focus to this healing process. How do you build
a plan?
What's Needed for a Successful Recovery?
You can figure out what you will need by:
• Talking with other ex-cultists
• Reading about recovering from abusive groups and trauma
• Thinking about what you want for the future
• Talking with counseling professionals, for example psychologists, social
workers, psychiatrists
Write down ideas and suggestions that seem helpful to you about how to
proceed in your recovery (See Stoner and Kisser, 1992 Tobias, 1993). Try to
arrange these ideas into some type of timeline, order or structure.
Group the ideas and suggestions into priorities-most important to least
important. For example, if you do not have a place to live, finding housing will
be the highest priority. If you want to pick up playing the piano again to
reconnect with your past, and also need to find child care so you can work, then
playing the piano is a lesser priority. If this all seems too overwhelming for you
right now skip this section. Don't push yourself.
Exercise- Assessment
Try asking yourself the following questions and writing down the answers:
1. What are my immediate priorities? For example, healthcare, housing,
finances, emotional support.
2. What are my priorities for the next 3 months? 6 months? Year? 2 years?
For example, contacting ex-cultists, studying mind control techniques,
getting counseling, finding reliable and affordable day care, legal
assistance.
3. What can I do by myself and what requires the help of others?
4. Ask yourself: Who can help me? What do I need to do? When should I do
this? Where can I do this? Why am I doing this? How will I do this?
Building a Recovery Plan
When athletes are hurt, coaches often design a recovery plan. I suggest ex-
cultists do the same thing. There has usually been a lot of damage done to the
body, emotions, mind, and spirit. My father once remarked to my brother, who
couldn't understand why I wasn't "getting on with my life" after several months
of recovery, that Wendy had been hit by a kind of Mack truck. "You just
wouldn't expect her to get up and start running again in a short while." It was
going to take time and it was going to take help from others. As I mentioned
earlier, healing these wounds takes time, discipline, and courage. A plan can
help provide a framework and a focus to this healing process. How do you build
a plan?
What's Needed for a Successful Recovery?
You can figure out what you will need by:
• Talking with other ex-cultists
• Reading about recovering from abusive groups and trauma
• Thinking about what you want for the future
• Talking with counseling professionals, for example psychologists, social
workers, psychiatrists
Write down ideas and suggestions that seem helpful to you about how to
proceed in your recovery (See Stoner and Kisser, 1992 Tobias, 1993). Try to
arrange these ideas into some type of timeline, order or structure.
Group the ideas and suggestions into priorities-most important to least
important. For example, if you do not have a place to live, finding housing will
be the highest priority. If you want to pick up playing the piano again to
reconnect with your past, and also need to find child care so you can work, then
playing the piano is a lesser priority. If this all seems too overwhelming for you
right now skip this section. Don't push yourself.
Exercise- Assessment
Try asking yourself the following questions and writing down the answers:
1. What are my immediate priorities? For example, healthcare, housing,
finances, emotional support.
2. What are my priorities for the next 3 months? 6 months? Year? 2 years?
For example, contacting ex-cultists, studying mind control techniques,
getting counseling, finding reliable and affordable day care, legal
assistance.
3. What can I do by myself and what requires the help of others?
4. Ask yourself: Who can help me? What do I need to do? When should I do
this? Where can I do this? Why am I doing this? How will I do this?
