Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 14
Setting the Environment
When a bone is broken, it is important to have it "set" properly. The bone is
going to start healing whether it is set or not. If it is set correctly, it will be
restored to its previous ability. Some say, once a broken bone heals, it is
stronger where it was broken. In those early weeks, if the bone is improperly
set or damaged again, it may not heal correctly.
So it is with you. You have been through a trauma. You need an environment
that is conducive to helping you heal. It should feel and be safe. The people you
are around should be emotionally healthy people. If you are around emotionally
unhealthy people, the "bone" may set incorrectly. You may find yourself with
other problems later on that aren't related to the cult experience, but were
assimilated from those overprotective and domineering people during those
critical early months of recovery.
You may not have a choice where you live, but by being aware of the effect of
your environment during those early months, you can help offset any negative
effects and "milk" the healthy ones.
Rest and Food
Get plenty of it! Being in a cult is very stressful so is leaving a cult. The stress
is so severe for many, if not most, ex-cultists that it is really not stress at all,
but trauma. The difference between stress and trauma is the difference between
falling off your bicycle and falling from a second story window. You have been
traumatized and it is going to take time to heal. Under these conditions, it's very
normal to have trouble sleeping or to sleep a great deal. It's normal to eat a lot
of certain foods or not to be hungry. Remember, you're working through a
major traumatic life event.
The stress while being in a cult has been known to stop menstrual cycles in
women and beard growth in men. Mind control can have very powerful
physiological and occasionally even hallucinogenic effects. Therefore, when you
leave the cult and if you can at all afford it or a free or low income clinic is
available, consider having a complete medical checkup. This is especially true if
you were in a cult that ate a restrictive diet, or used drugs or sex to recruit or to
control followers. If you have not been getting regular dental and eye exams,
consider these as well. You should do this for yourself, the kids, and all other
family members who left with you.
For those who were in abusive groups that shunned health care professionals, it
may be scary to go for a checkup. You could use a checkup as an opportunity to
challenge some of the residual anxieties and phobias. Here's how you might try
it.
A Visit to the Doctor's Office
Use the buddy system. Try taking someone with you to the doctor's office,
clinic, or medical center and talk about what you're feeling as you go. (This
method would work if you decide to go to a psychologist's office, too.) You may
Setting the Environment
When a bone is broken, it is important to have it "set" properly. The bone is
going to start healing whether it is set or not. If it is set correctly, it will be
restored to its previous ability. Some say, once a broken bone heals, it is
stronger where it was broken. In those early weeks, if the bone is improperly
set or damaged again, it may not heal correctly.
So it is with you. You have been through a trauma. You need an environment
that is conducive to helping you heal. It should feel and be safe. The people you
are around should be emotionally healthy people. If you are around emotionally
unhealthy people, the "bone" may set incorrectly. You may find yourself with
other problems later on that aren't related to the cult experience, but were
assimilated from those overprotective and domineering people during those
critical early months of recovery.
You may not have a choice where you live, but by being aware of the effect of
your environment during those early months, you can help offset any negative
effects and "milk" the healthy ones.
Rest and Food
Get plenty of it! Being in a cult is very stressful so is leaving a cult. The stress
is so severe for many, if not most, ex-cultists that it is really not stress at all,
but trauma. The difference between stress and trauma is the difference between
falling off your bicycle and falling from a second story window. You have been
traumatized and it is going to take time to heal. Under these conditions, it's very
normal to have trouble sleeping or to sleep a great deal. It's normal to eat a lot
of certain foods or not to be hungry. Remember, you're working through a
major traumatic life event.
The stress while being in a cult has been known to stop menstrual cycles in
women and beard growth in men. Mind control can have very powerful
physiological and occasionally even hallucinogenic effects. Therefore, when you
leave the cult and if you can at all afford it or a free or low income clinic is
available, consider having a complete medical checkup. This is especially true if
you were in a cult that ate a restrictive diet, or used drugs or sex to recruit or to
control followers. If you have not been getting regular dental and eye exams,
consider these as well. You should do this for yourself, the kids, and all other
family members who left with you.
For those who were in abusive groups that shunned health care professionals, it
may be scary to go for a checkup. You could use a checkup as an opportunity to
challenge some of the residual anxieties and phobias. Here's how you might try
it.
A Visit to the Doctor's Office
Use the buddy system. Try taking someone with you to the doctor's office,
clinic, or medical center and talk about what you're feeling as you go. (This
method would work if you decide to go to a psychologist's office, too.) You may
