Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 43
Chapter 3:
Phase Three-Rebuilding and Dreaming
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.
Bessie Anderson Stanley
What do you do once the shock, grief, and pain have been talked out? What do
you do when you have studied mind control and yourself so thoroughly you
know why it won't happen to you again? What do you do after you have
reconnected with yourself, family, and friends? You build or rebuild a life plan.
This may include a career, education, intimate relationship, family, community
service, personal interests, and financial stability.
Putting It in Perspective
A friend mentioned she was taking a workshop to learn how to make wreaths.
How insignificant it can seem to make a wreath, I thought, when you've been
spending the past several years trying to save the world. How insignificant
everything seems.
Fanaticism
Someone told me the toughest job for the ex-cultist is to learn what normal is
after having been a fanatic (all or nothing) for so long. I found this to be very
true. For a few years after I returned home, there was a sense of urgency that
plagued me. I assumed this urgency had been burned into my nerves. For years
the cult had drilled into me the immediate, pending world doom I alone could
alleviate by following them.
It was hard to work when I returned home. In fact, I didn't for about a year.
The only marketable job skill I had was typing, so I eventually worked as a
secretary. Once the novelty of being back in the real world wore off, depression
set in. With that depression came a sense of uselessness. I'd been so fanatically
intent on saving the world that now typing a letter seemed so trivial and
insignificant.
It also seemed senseless to get excited about birthday parties, bridal and baby
showers, and other occasions. I found myself so uncomfortable at these events.
Couldn't everyone see how trivial they were? Didn't everyone know that while
they were busy enjoying cake and ice cream, people were being hurt and
abused by cults? Couldn't everyone see how serious the condition of the world
was? How could they be happy another child was born?
As time went by, I realized I needed these events not only to forget the troubles
of the world for a few hours, but to help me put my problems within the
Chapter 3:
Phase Three-Rebuilding and Dreaming
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.
Bessie Anderson Stanley
What do you do once the shock, grief, and pain have been talked out? What do
you do when you have studied mind control and yourself so thoroughly you
know why it won't happen to you again? What do you do after you have
reconnected with yourself, family, and friends? You build or rebuild a life plan.
This may include a career, education, intimate relationship, family, community
service, personal interests, and financial stability.
Putting It in Perspective
A friend mentioned she was taking a workshop to learn how to make wreaths.
How insignificant it can seem to make a wreath, I thought, when you've been
spending the past several years trying to save the world. How insignificant
everything seems.
Fanaticism
Someone told me the toughest job for the ex-cultist is to learn what normal is
after having been a fanatic (all or nothing) for so long. I found this to be very
true. For a few years after I returned home, there was a sense of urgency that
plagued me. I assumed this urgency had been burned into my nerves. For years
the cult had drilled into me the immediate, pending world doom I alone could
alleviate by following them.
It was hard to work when I returned home. In fact, I didn't for about a year.
The only marketable job skill I had was typing, so I eventually worked as a
secretary. Once the novelty of being back in the real world wore off, depression
set in. With that depression came a sense of uselessness. I'd been so fanatically
intent on saving the world that now typing a letter seemed so trivial and
insignificant.
It also seemed senseless to get excited about birthday parties, bridal and baby
showers, and other occasions. I found myself so uncomfortable at these events.
Couldn't everyone see how trivial they were? Didn't everyone know that while
they were busy enjoying cake and ice cream, people were being hurt and
abused by cults? Couldn't everyone see how serious the condition of the world
was? How could they be happy another child was born?
As time went by, I realized I needed these events not only to forget the troubles
of the world for a few hours, but to help me put my problems within the
