Recovery from Abusive Groups Page 31
Also, when under stress, I try to get lots of sleep, eat well, and not keep
feelings bottled up.
Floating
When you're recruited into a cult, a cult personality or identity is superimposed
onto your own personality. The cult reinforces and strengthens this cult identity
through chanting and meditation, the restriction of language, and through
information control-both from external sources and internally by cutting off
certain mental functions, such as reflection and reason. (See Hoffer, 1966
Lifton, 1969.)
As the years go by, the cult personality remains dominant, successfully
reinforced by the cult. The old you is there but quietly buried (for some not so
quietly) waiting to be freed, like a bird in a cage. Once a person becomes aware
of the psychological controls the cult has used and of the discrediting
information about the cult and its leaders, the follower begins to reuse the mind
and much of the old personality begins to emerge from hibernation.
That old personality is shaky at first for some, and often individuals find
themselves "floating" between the old cult identity and the new self. In this
between state, questions arise which can be confusing and frightening. "Should
I stay out or should I go back?" "Is being out of the cult really the right thing to
do?" This indecision seems so odd, for just a few hours ago the ex-cultist was
quite firm about the resolution to leave such a deceitful and manipulative group.
How to handle the situation?
Monitoring Stress
The stress of the recovery process can bring on floating incidents. Recovery is
hard work. It can seem lonely and scary at times as well as exciting. Pre-
existing psychological problems are still awaiting resolution. It's normal to feel
overwhelmed. In the midst of all this work and struggle, you may find yourself
thinking "wouldn't it be easier to go back?"
When this happened to me, I would say to myself "yes, it would be easier to go
back, but I wasn't really happy there. In fact, I was emotionally and
psychologically abused there. I want to learn how to handle my life now. I don't
want to go back into the fog." Reciting these words to myself would help. I also
made sure to get lots of rest and to talk with someone about what I was feeling.
Try to identify when the floating incidents occur. What is happening that may be
causing these episodes? Floating may most often occur when you're facing a lot
of emotional stress. It's important to learn to recognize the signs of stress in
your body, mind, and emotions. You can then monitor how much stress to try
and handle. Hunger and fatigue are good examples of your body sending
signals. (See Appendix A.)
Also, when under stress, I try to get lots of sleep, eat well, and not keep
feelings bottled up.
Floating
When you're recruited into a cult, a cult personality or identity is superimposed
onto your own personality. The cult reinforces and strengthens this cult identity
through chanting and meditation, the restriction of language, and through
information control-both from external sources and internally by cutting off
certain mental functions, such as reflection and reason. (See Hoffer, 1966
Lifton, 1969.)
As the years go by, the cult personality remains dominant, successfully
reinforced by the cult. The old you is there but quietly buried (for some not so
quietly) waiting to be freed, like a bird in a cage. Once a person becomes aware
of the psychological controls the cult has used and of the discrediting
information about the cult and its leaders, the follower begins to reuse the mind
and much of the old personality begins to emerge from hibernation.
That old personality is shaky at first for some, and often individuals find
themselves "floating" between the old cult identity and the new self. In this
between state, questions arise which can be confusing and frightening. "Should
I stay out or should I go back?" "Is being out of the cult really the right thing to
do?" This indecision seems so odd, for just a few hours ago the ex-cultist was
quite firm about the resolution to leave such a deceitful and manipulative group.
How to handle the situation?
Monitoring Stress
The stress of the recovery process can bring on floating incidents. Recovery is
hard work. It can seem lonely and scary at times as well as exciting. Pre-
existing psychological problems are still awaiting resolution. It's normal to feel
overwhelmed. In the midst of all this work and struggle, you may find yourself
thinking "wouldn't it be easier to go back?"
When this happened to me, I would say to myself "yes, it would be easier to go
back, but I wasn't really happy there. In fact, I was emotionally and
psychologically abused there. I want to learn how to handle my life now. I don't
want to go back into the fog." Reciting these words to myself would help. I also
made sure to get lots of rest and to talk with someone about what I was feeling.
Try to identify when the floating incidents occur. What is happening that may be
causing these episodes? Floating may most often occur when you're facing a lot
of emotional stress. It's important to learn to recognize the signs of stress in
your body, mind, and emotions. You can then monitor how much stress to try
and handle. Hunger and fatigue are good examples of your body sending
signals. (See Appendix A.)
