that after her sister fled the FLDS, “The image
my father had nurtured for a lifetime was in
smithereens” (2008, p. 55). Carolyn Jessop’s
sister returned to the FLDS, but their parents
only partially reaccepted her. Wall stated that
her parents refused to fully cease contact with
her brother Travis: “…we were not prepared to
abandon a brother and son completely” (2008, p.
84).
Both authors attested that their love and loyalty
for their parents delayed their flight from the
FLDS. Carolyn Jessop (2008) and Wall (2009)
expressed that their parents’ demonstrated their
love for their children primarily through
compliant actions. Carolyn Jessop explained,
“My happiness, in their view, was dependent on
my willingness to do the will of God, no matter
how painful that might be to me” (2008, p. 82).
(In this statement, they refers to Jessop’s father
and polygamous mother, Rosie. Carolyn bonded
with her mother’s sister-wife, Rosie: “I loved
my mother but always had the conflicting
feelings of fearing her anger and abuse. Rosie
was different. Her stability enabled me to grow”
[2008, p. 44]).
In a few cases, however, authors attributed child
abuse to the stress of parental compliance. These
authors presented their parents as victims of
circumstance who expressed their frustrations on
their children’s bodies. These parents’
nonunitary subjectivities allowed them to love,
protect, and abuse their children simultaneously.
Carolyn Jessop claimed that, when happy, her
mother was “a woman worthy of love,” but that
she often regressed into a “depressed and
volatile” state during which “She beat us almost
every day” (2008, pp. 12, 15). After an incident
during which Jessop’s school principal beat his
students, her mother was protective:
My mother was outraged by the
principal’s behavior and told us that if
anyone ever tried to hurt us in school,
we were to come home at once. She
didn’t make a connection between her
abusive behavior toward us and the
beating that happened at school. Mother
managed to think that she was beating
us only because she loved us and was
trying to make us live godly lives. She
didn’t know that our small bodies were
unable to distinguish between the two.
(2008, p. 40)
Carolyn stated, “I used to wish she didn’t love
me,” so that her mother would cease beating her
(2008, p. 13).
Carolyn Jessop also stated that physical abuse
within the FLDS was normal: “Whatever my
mother’s mental issues were, she was overall a
much better mother than many of the women in
the community” (2008, p. 16). Carolyn
attributed her mother’s violence to feeling
powerless within a loveless polygamous
marriage (2008, p. 15). She portrayed her
mother’s slow transition into a protective and
loving mother who fled the FLDS: “When my
mother left I felt unbearably alone” (2008, pp.
276, 336). She related to her mother’s eventual
noncompliance with affection. Nevertheless,
even in some memoirs void of such
transformation, authors understood abuse as
socially determined and claimed to love their
parents.
As I mentioned, former Mormon Martha Beck
(2005) recognized her mother’s moment of
noncompliance, but she dedicated most of her
book to her father. Beck attested to loving her
father, and she explained that his raping her
“wasn’t about lust. It wasn’t even about sex,
except as a form of torture or even symbolic
death. No, it was all about religion” (2005, p.
208). Despite his emotional detachment and
abuse, Beck stressed, “I have no way to judge
whether he could have found another path”
(2005, p. 297). Beck attributed her father’s
abusive actions to his prior experiences in war,
his devotion as a Mormon apologist, and his
childhood sexual abuse.
Beck (2005) detailed the physical abuse she
suffered from her mother less than her father,
but she asserted that both parents were abusive
and detached because of social conditions:
I both loved her desperately and found
her infinitely horrifying, like the Hindu
mother-goddess Kali, the source of
essential nourishment and malevolent
destruction. I didn’t understand that she
was probably profoundly clinically
28 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 6, 2015
my father had nurtured for a lifetime was in
smithereens” (2008, p. 55). Carolyn Jessop’s
sister returned to the FLDS, but their parents
only partially reaccepted her. Wall stated that
her parents refused to fully cease contact with
her brother Travis: “…we were not prepared to
abandon a brother and son completely” (2008, p.
84).
Both authors attested that their love and loyalty
for their parents delayed their flight from the
FLDS. Carolyn Jessop (2008) and Wall (2009)
expressed that their parents’ demonstrated their
love for their children primarily through
compliant actions. Carolyn Jessop explained,
“My happiness, in their view, was dependent on
my willingness to do the will of God, no matter
how painful that might be to me” (2008, p. 82).
(In this statement, they refers to Jessop’s father
and polygamous mother, Rosie. Carolyn bonded
with her mother’s sister-wife, Rosie: “I loved
my mother but always had the conflicting
feelings of fearing her anger and abuse. Rosie
was different. Her stability enabled me to grow”
[2008, p. 44]).
In a few cases, however, authors attributed child
abuse to the stress of parental compliance. These
authors presented their parents as victims of
circumstance who expressed their frustrations on
their children’s bodies. These parents’
nonunitary subjectivities allowed them to love,
protect, and abuse their children simultaneously.
Carolyn Jessop claimed that, when happy, her
mother was “a woman worthy of love,” but that
she often regressed into a “depressed and
volatile” state during which “She beat us almost
every day” (2008, pp. 12, 15). After an incident
during which Jessop’s school principal beat his
students, her mother was protective:
My mother was outraged by the
principal’s behavior and told us that if
anyone ever tried to hurt us in school,
we were to come home at once. She
didn’t make a connection between her
abusive behavior toward us and the
beating that happened at school. Mother
managed to think that she was beating
us only because she loved us and was
trying to make us live godly lives. She
didn’t know that our small bodies were
unable to distinguish between the two.
(2008, p. 40)
Carolyn stated, “I used to wish she didn’t love
me,” so that her mother would cease beating her
(2008, p. 13).
Carolyn Jessop also stated that physical abuse
within the FLDS was normal: “Whatever my
mother’s mental issues were, she was overall a
much better mother than many of the women in
the community” (2008, p. 16). Carolyn
attributed her mother’s violence to feeling
powerless within a loveless polygamous
marriage (2008, p. 15). She portrayed her
mother’s slow transition into a protective and
loving mother who fled the FLDS: “When my
mother left I felt unbearably alone” (2008, pp.
276, 336). She related to her mother’s eventual
noncompliance with affection. Nevertheless,
even in some memoirs void of such
transformation, authors understood abuse as
socially determined and claimed to love their
parents.
As I mentioned, former Mormon Martha Beck
(2005) recognized her mother’s moment of
noncompliance, but she dedicated most of her
book to her father. Beck attested to loving her
father, and she explained that his raping her
“wasn’t about lust. It wasn’t even about sex,
except as a form of torture or even symbolic
death. No, it was all about religion” (2005, p.
208). Despite his emotional detachment and
abuse, Beck stressed, “I have no way to judge
whether he could have found another path”
(2005, p. 297). Beck attributed her father’s
abusive actions to his prior experiences in war,
his devotion as a Mormon apologist, and his
childhood sexual abuse.
Beck (2005) detailed the physical abuse she
suffered from her mother less than her father,
but she asserted that both parents were abusive
and detached because of social conditions:
I both loved her desperately and found
her infinitely horrifying, like the Hindu
mother-goddess Kali, the source of
essential nourishment and malevolent
destruction. I didn’t understand that she
was probably profoundly clinically
28 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 6, 2015
