Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 65
Violation occurs when there is an asymmetrical relationship, not just in age, but also in
position. When doctors, teachers, ministers, and therapists cross over that line of
discrimination and manipulate their patients, students, parishioners, or clients, they violate
those people in their innermost core. If sex is involved, it is a sexual violation.
Despite the damage I have experienced a tremendous learning process in recouping the lost
years. I have begun to understand precisely how vital it is that those in helping professions
never cross over the line between themselves and their client. The goal of the helper must
be to help the other, not to fulfill the helper‟s own covert goals. Therapy, spirituality,
medical help, education are about the client or person being helped they are not about the
therapist, minister, doctor or teacher. There must be respect for the individual and respect
for her free choice. Manipulation and coercion are never helpful. The misuse of power is
rampant in this and all societies. It must be recognized and an understanding of it used as a
tool to educate the general public about such abuses.
In the past 20 years, although I was entrapped in unrelenting violation, I did not die. I was
victimized, but I am not just a victim. I have had thoughts and abilities. I have learned
about myself, my strengths. I have learned to respect others and their boundaries. I have
learned what is ethical and what is not. I learned to appreciate community life and as a
result to contribute in a positive way to the greater community. My priorities are clear, and I
form my life around them rather than around someone else‟s priorities. My life, my children
lives, and the life of our family far exceed in value a philosophy or technique of
enlightenment. I am not proud of having lived in such an entanglement, but I am not guilty
any longer. I am proud that I got out and that I got my son out.
My hope is that more stories will be told, and more people will be supported in coming
forward about this type of molestation. I hope that information about the exact abuse is
made distinct from what might be valuable. Many of these groups cover up their illicit
actions with teachings that have a lot of merit. Yoga or meditation or vegetarianism is not
what the abuse is about. Living in groups or communities is not inherently wrong. The
wrong occurs when a person or persons misuse their position of power in order to control or
manipulate others for their own gain. Lastly, I hope that this story and others like it give
individuals in a similar position “a place to go” away from the abuse.
Postscript: The following is a poem my son wrote when he was 11 years old about life in the
cult.
Secrets
by Shan
Secrets, whispers in the dark
They surround you and tear your life apart.
They seep into your soul and heart and leave a cold feeling
empty and alone.......until you die.
The darkness covers your eyes and you can‟t breathe.
You want to scream and cry out, but you suppress those feelings.
You beat them back down.
That is what you‟ve been taught --never tell, never love,
never challenge those who control your life --secrets.
Only do what you are told or suffer the fate of social solitude.
You will never be loved again.
The blackness encircles you and the secrets wrap around you,
tightening. Your scream is muted by the hollowness of your life.
Violation occurs when there is an asymmetrical relationship, not just in age, but also in
position. When doctors, teachers, ministers, and therapists cross over that line of
discrimination and manipulate their patients, students, parishioners, or clients, they violate
those people in their innermost core. If sex is involved, it is a sexual violation.
Despite the damage I have experienced a tremendous learning process in recouping the lost
years. I have begun to understand precisely how vital it is that those in helping professions
never cross over the line between themselves and their client. The goal of the helper must
be to help the other, not to fulfill the helper‟s own covert goals. Therapy, spirituality,
medical help, education are about the client or person being helped they are not about the
therapist, minister, doctor or teacher. There must be respect for the individual and respect
for her free choice. Manipulation and coercion are never helpful. The misuse of power is
rampant in this and all societies. It must be recognized and an understanding of it used as a
tool to educate the general public about such abuses.
In the past 20 years, although I was entrapped in unrelenting violation, I did not die. I was
victimized, but I am not just a victim. I have had thoughts and abilities. I have learned
about myself, my strengths. I have learned to respect others and their boundaries. I have
learned what is ethical and what is not. I learned to appreciate community life and as a
result to contribute in a positive way to the greater community. My priorities are clear, and I
form my life around them rather than around someone else‟s priorities. My life, my children
lives, and the life of our family far exceed in value a philosophy or technique of
enlightenment. I am not proud of having lived in such an entanglement, but I am not guilty
any longer. I am proud that I got out and that I got my son out.
My hope is that more stories will be told, and more people will be supported in coming
forward about this type of molestation. I hope that information about the exact abuse is
made distinct from what might be valuable. Many of these groups cover up their illicit
actions with teachings that have a lot of merit. Yoga or meditation or vegetarianism is not
what the abuse is about. Living in groups or communities is not inherently wrong. The
wrong occurs when a person or persons misuse their position of power in order to control or
manipulate others for their own gain. Lastly, I hope that this story and others like it give
individuals in a similar position “a place to go” away from the abuse.
Postscript: The following is a poem my son wrote when he was 11 years old about life in the
cult.
Secrets
by Shan
Secrets, whispers in the dark
They surround you and tear your life apart.
They seep into your soul and heart and leave a cold feeling
empty and alone.......until you die.
The darkness covers your eyes and you can‟t breathe.
You want to scream and cry out, but you suppress those feelings.
You beat them back down.
That is what you‟ve been taught --never tell, never love,
never challenge those who control your life --secrets.
Only do what you are told or suffer the fate of social solitude.
You will never be loved again.
The blackness encircles you and the secrets wrap around you,
tightening. Your scream is muted by the hollowness of your life.
