Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 54
No Place to Go:
Life in a Prison Without Bars
Katherine E. Betz
Walnut Creek, California
Abstract
This article describes a woman‟s experience of 21 years of sexual and psychological
abuse and exploitation under the guise of meditation and psychotherapy. Her
journey begins with a spiritual-social retreat and leads her into the hands of a
teacher and leader who adopts her as one of his chosen disciples. She clashes again
and again in moral conflict with this guru and eventually leaves the cult, uncovering
the inner workings of the group and its leader to the outer layer of members and
the general public.
I am 45 years old. For 21 years I lived within the confines of a closed society, a pseudo-
psychotherapy/meditation group led by a man whom I will call “Louis.” I write this article in
order to try to help others by shedding light on the process by which intelligent seekers
become stuck in a form of mental servitude. I maintain the anonymity of the leader, other
persons, and identifying data on the group for several reasons. First, I write about what was
a relatively small group (several hundreds of members), which appears to be reforming, and
I wish to protect individuals‟ confidentiality. Second, I do not want to obscure my primary
purpose of helping others understand manipulative influence processes by making this
article appear to be a mere exposé of the deeds of somebody who hurt me.
Because I spent so many years in this group, most of my adult life was consumed by a set
of rules and regulations governing my thoughts, my feelings, my ideals, my family, my
friends, and my community. Leaving this enclosure has not been easy. I experienced
extreme depression, suicidal tendencies, guilt, and loss. I lost my family, community, home,
and source of income. It has been a long road to recovery and to freedom --a project that
has yet to be completed. There are parts of me that will never heal because of what
happened.
My recovery involved restructuring myself and my goals to discover a personal life purpose
outside of the mind-set put forth in the group. I have learned to survive the abuse and
slander put forth by members and former members of the group, engendered by my
departure from the group (which subsequently tore it apart). Primarily I have used this time
to begin to understand what happened and why. What was the abuse, what went wrong,
and how could I correct it? I have also tried to understand what went right and how to keep
it. Even though Louis misused his leadership role and caused me a great deal of suffering
(and what I consider to be irreparable damage), not all that happened to me during that
time was abusive. In spite of an oppressive environment, I had developed my own
characteristics, strengths, values, and abilities. Separating the abuse from the valuable has
been crucial to my survival. I could not afford to throw away 21 years without at least
looking through those experiences and finding some of myself. To do all that, it was
necessary to understand what, precisely, was the abuse--what was the wrong that was
done.
The Beginning
It began in 1972. I was 20 years old and studying at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.
Like many of that age, I was looking for myself and a way to live my life. There was much

Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 55
about society, in those times, that warranted questioning. I yearned for some Truth, some
honesty-- some sort of guidance around which to structure my life. I was young, innocent,
good intentioned, and lacking direction. Around that time some friends invited me to attend
a workshop led by the “Enlightenment Institute” (a pseudonym). It was a 3-day weekend
designed to give participants a chance to pursue the Truth of Life in a supportive
environment. I jumped at the opportunity. The experience was good for me. I felt
supported. I liked the people.
This workshop led to my participation in other programs offered by the Institute. The focus
was on increasing one‟s ability to communicate and interact better with individuals and with
society in general. The techniques being used involved various psychotherapy practices
ranging from communication dyads to primal therapy. The overall program was based on
the philosophy that we are all perfect and that only our relationships needed improvement
and so the Institute offered a structure for my pursuit of a better way of life. At the same
time I began to form fulfilling and tangible friendships within the group of fellow students.
These friendships proved to be more satisfying than the ones I had been encountering in
college.
After several months of attending weekly and sometimes daily programs, I moved into the
Enlightenment Institute, a branch of a larger system which was controlled, from a distance,
by Louis. The center‟s directors were benign and friendly people. The leader lived 2,000
miles away and seemed to have little to do with the Milwaukee branch (I later came to the
opinion that he was chronically disorganized and unable to delegate authority from a
distance. This meant that he lost effectiveness when not on the scene). Unless the directors
of his various centers had a propensity for misuse of power, the branches were fairly
benign. Given what I have learned about cultic abuse and mind-control techniques, I have
yet to find unethical behaviors within those people. Many of them eventually left and formed
families and contributed to society. Yet, because of the very fairness of those running the
Milwaukee center, I became inattentive to the pitfalls in the greater system and to the
abuse that Louis would eventually bestow on me in the name of truth.
I lived in the Milwaukee center for 2 years. I met Louis once or twice during that time and
respected him from a distance only because he seemed to be the originator of some good
ways to handle life. Much later I found out that Louis had not originated the communication
techniques that we were taught. He also did not originate the ethics of treating people well
instead, he used these --the basic human codes of honorable behavior, a system on which
all long-living societies are based --as a cloak of deception.
The difficulty began when the Milwaukee center was closing down and I was at loose ends
as to what to do with my life. Most of the people living there went their own ways, going
back to school, joining other spiritual groups, and so on. I was invited by Louis to attend a
2-week retreat in California, which he was leading. As I had very little savings I took the
retreat at a reduced rate in exchange for future service. Louis solicited me to move to the
California headquarters of the Institute to further my growth and to do service work to
repay the cost of the 2-week retreat. I jumped at the chance. Later, a few students from
Milwaukee did find their way to California to live at Louis‟s facilities.
After moving to the ashram, as Louis renamed his center, situated in a remote desert
location, I was put to work as the cook. I proved to be a hard worker and was exceptional
at the work I was given. I was enamored by the life I was living. The people were both
friendly and intelligent. The communal atmosphere was as close to an ideal lifestyle as I had
ever dreamed of. We were young, healthy, and on a noble path. I loved the work and the
friendship. Soon I was given the job as the main bookkeeper in addition to cooking and
shopping for 25 people. The harder I worked and the more efficient I was, the more
responsibility I was given. This in turn increased my daily involvement with Louis.