Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 64
shouldn‟t align themselves with such ideology. My ex-husband said that I took his choice
away. In fact, I didn‟t, but Louis had managed to construct everything to be my fault.
It is a mystery to me why exposing a harmful secret causes such havoc for those who
decide to expose it. For me, the consequences were tremendous. I was blamed for
everything, as though I had been the abuser. Those who had participated so entirely for so
many years blamed me for destroying everything. Those who had been kept in the dark
blamed me for having kept it secret. One man blamed me for abusing his children, because
“they had to witness” that I had left my husband. According to our teachings, divorce was a
sin, a greater sin than all of the sexual misuse that took place. Without the approval of the
religion, people were left with the sorry consequences of their actions. Former
communitarians were no longer getting along. Individuals who had once been some of my
closest friends were now trying to justify what had happened and began to downplay their
actions. This severely inhibited the uncovering.
Meanwhile Louis remained isolated. He eventually insisted, through lawyers, that the entire
community property be sold (along with seven family homes) in order to take his
investment with him. This was possible through a legal clause he had written into the
original property organizational plan. These were ugly months. Even though his influence
was now limited, his former students, not having recovered from his influence, continued to
hurt and insult me. I was told that Louis‟s final instruction was to “Slander and abuse her
until she backs off.” My sin of exposing the secrecy was considered far greater than any
coercion or manipulation that might have taken place.
A New Beginning
In 1993 I began a loving and equal relationship with the man who had helped me so much
to look at what was happening in the group. We eventually got married. Together we
worked on our recovery for ourselves and for our children. Finally, in 1995, we left Australia
and returned to America, primarily to get away from the abusive atmosphere, from the
legacy of Louis.
In retrospect, I know that people involved in such experiences must get professional
counseling to understand and exit from the effects of that abuse. Most of the others in
Australia did not receive that type of help. In addition, the relationships we had established
suffered irreparable damage because of the secret society which needed to be
acknowledged. The broken trust between the couples and friends will never recover. I lost
some of my closest friends during this time. We could not relate outside of the teacher‟s
influence. Recovery is a lonely time.
And lastly, it is difficult to admit that one has been involved in such a manipulation. It is
difficult to admit to having participated in such unethical behavior. It is difficult to know one
has supported such a sham. I am not proud of having been in such an abusive atmosphere,
but I am no longer ashamed. Louis used his position as minister to coerce his parishioners
into sexual contact with him. He used his position of power to take money from students
and then, under the auspices of the church, he used that money for his own personal
whims. He used his position as minister to destroy families, support lies, and abuse those
who spoke out against him. For Louis, the end justified the means. His end was the
fulfillment of his goals, not the goals of humanity or of his parishioners. He preached non-
injury, non-theft, not lying, and supporting family life. He lived an opposite existence of
stealing, lying, and destroying families.
Those secrets that we held, in the name of God, will haunt us and our children for years.
The damage that was caused to those who participated and shielded those secrets is great.
Coming out of the cult has not been a friendly experience. In general, society has failed to
understand that rape and sexual abuse is not about sex, but about the misuse of power.
shouldn‟t align themselves with such ideology. My ex-husband said that I took his choice
away. In fact, I didn‟t, but Louis had managed to construct everything to be my fault.
It is a mystery to me why exposing a harmful secret causes such havoc for those who
decide to expose it. For me, the consequences were tremendous. I was blamed for
everything, as though I had been the abuser. Those who had participated so entirely for so
many years blamed me for destroying everything. Those who had been kept in the dark
blamed me for having kept it secret. One man blamed me for abusing his children, because
“they had to witness” that I had left my husband. According to our teachings, divorce was a
sin, a greater sin than all of the sexual misuse that took place. Without the approval of the
religion, people were left with the sorry consequences of their actions. Former
communitarians were no longer getting along. Individuals who had once been some of my
closest friends were now trying to justify what had happened and began to downplay their
actions. This severely inhibited the uncovering.
Meanwhile Louis remained isolated. He eventually insisted, through lawyers, that the entire
community property be sold (along with seven family homes) in order to take his
investment with him. This was possible through a legal clause he had written into the
original property organizational plan. These were ugly months. Even though his influence
was now limited, his former students, not having recovered from his influence, continued to
hurt and insult me. I was told that Louis‟s final instruction was to “Slander and abuse her
until she backs off.” My sin of exposing the secrecy was considered far greater than any
coercion or manipulation that might have taken place.
A New Beginning
In 1993 I began a loving and equal relationship with the man who had helped me so much
to look at what was happening in the group. We eventually got married. Together we
worked on our recovery for ourselves and for our children. Finally, in 1995, we left Australia
and returned to America, primarily to get away from the abusive atmosphere, from the
legacy of Louis.
In retrospect, I know that people involved in such experiences must get professional
counseling to understand and exit from the effects of that abuse. Most of the others in
Australia did not receive that type of help. In addition, the relationships we had established
suffered irreparable damage because of the secret society which needed to be
acknowledged. The broken trust between the couples and friends will never recover. I lost
some of my closest friends during this time. We could not relate outside of the teacher‟s
influence. Recovery is a lonely time.
And lastly, it is difficult to admit that one has been involved in such a manipulation. It is
difficult to admit to having participated in such unethical behavior. It is difficult to know one
has supported such a sham. I am not proud of having been in such an abusive atmosphere,
but I am no longer ashamed. Louis used his position as minister to coerce his parishioners
into sexual contact with him. He used his position of power to take money from students
and then, under the auspices of the church, he used that money for his own personal
whims. He used his position as minister to destroy families, support lies, and abuse those
who spoke out against him. For Louis, the end justified the means. His end was the
fulfillment of his goals, not the goals of humanity or of his parishioners. He preached non-
injury, non-theft, not lying, and supporting family life. He lived an opposite existence of
stealing, lying, and destroying families.
Those secrets that we held, in the name of God, will haunt us and our children for years.
The damage that was caused to those who participated and shielded those secrets is great.
Coming out of the cult has not been a friendly experience. In general, society has failed to
understand that rape and sexual abuse is not about sex, but about the misuse of power.
