Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 62
The upset and jealousy and insanity increased on a daily basis. There were beatings and
threats, between the adults. There were guns and knives. The turmoil was incredible.
Our personal life and home were in jeopardy. My peace was shattered, and soon so was my
family. Our marriage was in shreds. My husband was constantly depressed. He wanted to
become involved with other women, but I refused to open up our marriage. I pleaded with
the other couples involved to stop and save their marriages. I was laughed at. Again, I was
told that those were my weaknesses, my inability to grow and my lack of emotional
maturity. Cleverly, the sexual behaviors were kept secret from most of the new students,
but for the 15 to 20 people involved, it was a new generation of “evolution.” These were the
chosen people in a renaissance of personal growth.
My husband and I were not directly involved with the inner circle happenings, but we knew
what was happening. We watched as people came and went in the cloak of darkness. We
watched their families bend over with stress. I listened to the stories about the continued
abortions and mishaps among the families involved. The children, while not directly
involved, began to exhibit manifestations of severe psychological difficulties in school and
inappropriate sexual acting out.
I pleaded with Louis to stop. He laughed. He had his power. The people around him believed
him. They had completely changed their philosophy of life. Before Louis came to Australia,
the people in the community seemed interested in their families, their work, and their
children‟s schooling. After Louis, family life became a duty to fulfill only minimally, since
meditation was more important than working. People‟s businesses began to fall apart
because the focus was on sex, not work. Louis disdained education, so they withdrew their
children from public schools in order to home school them. I watched as they accepted the
secrecy completely, and were willing to put their families and children in jeopardy in order
to become one of the elite in the march toward enlightenment.
On the outside my life continued as if unaffected. I aspired toward a better life. I followed
and believed the outer teachings. More and more people began to move to Australia and
join the community. More and more money was being collected for Louis. He had money
under his mattress and in hiding places. He created another nonprofit religious organization
like the one in California, and without having to pay taxes, he was amassing large quantities
of money. The students in Australia were more affluent, so Louis received large donations
from them, as well as from my husband and me. We continued to support him publicly. I
felt then that I had no alternative. I was afraid to break the code of silence, a code I agreed
to so many years earlier. I was afraid of my life falling apart and that I would have no other
life beyond that which I had lived for close to two decades. Financially, our counseling work
was tied up with Louis‟s students our home was part of his communal deed and all of our
friends were followers of Louis. My life was a house of cards, and to expose the secrecy
would destroy my life, of that I was certain.
My son and the other children in the community were showing continued signs of distress
from the secrecy, the sexual trysts, and the stress of their parents. People were becoming
so dysfunctional that they were losing jobs, and eventually their property. With our
marriage disintegrating even further, my husband began to gravitate toward the multiple
sexual partner scene. While we were not involved in the sexual rendezvous with the other
families, we were constantly bombarded with requests. My husband finally revealed to me
one day that he had gone to prostitutes in Bangkok (exposing myself and my son to the
AIDS virus). He said he felt justified as it was non-action – “It just happened.” The whole
situation sickened me. The misuse of power in the teacher was being transferred through
the generations. I knew that I needed to get out of the whole system, yet found no outlet. I
didn‟t know where or whom to turn to. But I began to plan a way out.
The upset and jealousy and insanity increased on a daily basis. There were beatings and
threats, between the adults. There were guns and knives. The turmoil was incredible.
Our personal life and home were in jeopardy. My peace was shattered, and soon so was my
family. Our marriage was in shreds. My husband was constantly depressed. He wanted to
become involved with other women, but I refused to open up our marriage. I pleaded with
the other couples involved to stop and save their marriages. I was laughed at. Again, I was
told that those were my weaknesses, my inability to grow and my lack of emotional
maturity. Cleverly, the sexual behaviors were kept secret from most of the new students,
but for the 15 to 20 people involved, it was a new generation of “evolution.” These were the
chosen people in a renaissance of personal growth.
My husband and I were not directly involved with the inner circle happenings, but we knew
what was happening. We watched as people came and went in the cloak of darkness. We
watched their families bend over with stress. I listened to the stories about the continued
abortions and mishaps among the families involved. The children, while not directly
involved, began to exhibit manifestations of severe psychological difficulties in school and
inappropriate sexual acting out.
I pleaded with Louis to stop. He laughed. He had his power. The people around him believed
him. They had completely changed their philosophy of life. Before Louis came to Australia,
the people in the community seemed interested in their families, their work, and their
children‟s schooling. After Louis, family life became a duty to fulfill only minimally, since
meditation was more important than working. People‟s businesses began to fall apart
because the focus was on sex, not work. Louis disdained education, so they withdrew their
children from public schools in order to home school them. I watched as they accepted the
secrecy completely, and were willing to put their families and children in jeopardy in order
to become one of the elite in the march toward enlightenment.
On the outside my life continued as if unaffected. I aspired toward a better life. I followed
and believed the outer teachings. More and more people began to move to Australia and
join the community. More and more money was being collected for Louis. He had money
under his mattress and in hiding places. He created another nonprofit religious organization
like the one in California, and without having to pay taxes, he was amassing large quantities
of money. The students in Australia were more affluent, so Louis received large donations
from them, as well as from my husband and me. We continued to support him publicly. I
felt then that I had no alternative. I was afraid to break the code of silence, a code I agreed
to so many years earlier. I was afraid of my life falling apart and that I would have no other
life beyond that which I had lived for close to two decades. Financially, our counseling work
was tied up with Louis‟s students our home was part of his communal deed and all of our
friends were followers of Louis. My life was a house of cards, and to expose the secrecy
would destroy my life, of that I was certain.
My son and the other children in the community were showing continued signs of distress
from the secrecy, the sexual trysts, and the stress of their parents. People were becoming
so dysfunctional that they were losing jobs, and eventually their property. With our
marriage disintegrating even further, my husband began to gravitate toward the multiple
sexual partner scene. While we were not involved in the sexual rendezvous with the other
families, we were constantly bombarded with requests. My husband finally revealed to me
one day that he had gone to prostitutes in Bangkok (exposing myself and my son to the
AIDS virus). He said he felt justified as it was non-action – “It just happened.” The whole
situation sickened me. The misuse of power in the teacher was being transferred through
the generations. I knew that I needed to get out of the whole system, yet found no outlet. I
didn‟t know where or whom to turn to. But I began to plan a way out.
