Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 60
The Last American Chapter
In 1977 Louis acquired enough money to purchase a 400-acre retreat in northern California.
We moved the ashram to the country. There were many more volunteers, many more
people visiting, and the daily programs were becoming more and more of a production. He
assigned me as director of the facility. I was good at it. I liked the job and I liked the
people, most of whom were completely unaware of the duplicity inherent in Louis‟s
teachings and the behavior of his close disciples. I continued to block out the sexual orgies
that happened frequently. I blinded myself to the night-time wanderings of the inner group.
Louis and I had continual disagreements about the inner teachings. He claimed I was
unworthy to understand and be able to participate. I accepted this.
In order to remain part of the group and to keep my sanity, I decided to marry a man who
was also a close student of Louis‟s. Louis had matched me with him. I felt that marriage was
my only option because in the typical tradition of marriage, there was to be no meditation,
that is, no sex with other people. I could live in the ashram and follow the outer teachings.
In a way my marriage was a last resort, a final attempt at coping with the situation.
The man I married seemed to be willing to be monogamous and wanted a family. In my
heart I hoped that marrying him would save me from the duplicity into which I had spiraled.
As it turned out, my husband was as enmeshed in the subservience expected of Louis‟s
students as I was. He married his guru‟s woman he had the prize. I was a used possession,
being passed to an honor student. We continued to live in the ashram and work for Louis.
We were dependent on Louis for our livelihood. We received room and board and $150 per
month.
What I didn‟t realize was that marriage had no sanctity for the guru. Soon after the
marriage, Louis suddenly decided that in fact married people could meditate. It was not long
before he was asking my husband whether he was willing to help his spiritual father by
allowing his wife to meditate with him. My husband also could not say no to his guru. I felt
my life being torn again. The relationship between me and my teacher was not based on
either sex or religion, but on a sick misuse of power.
About this time one of the women involved in Louis‟s inner circle (an 18-year-old) had a
nervous breakdown and spent time in a psychiatric hospital. She was able to speak about
the abuse in the group, and as a result some of the secrets were revealed to the general
public. The effect rippled throughout the community of 150 people, splitting it wide open.
Louis took emergency actions and drew the inner circle tight. “We must uphold the 7,000-
year-old secret,” he proclaimed. “We have to protect yoga.” All of us, except a few, did as
told. We denied it all. We put the responsibility on the woman who had the breakdown. We
were upholding the Truth, the Eternal Way of Life. We were protecting the basic system of
“evolution.” It was not a lie. It was a yogic secret. Although some people left, many stayed
and believed their teacher and their teacher‟s closest students. Despite our cover-up, the
fallout from the exposure damaged the community feeling. It was falling apart.
During this time Louis became extremely paranoid. He trusted no one and feared for his life.
He convinced most of us that we must leave for a safer place. He was afraid that the large
property that we had just acquired would be confiscated. He was afraid he would be
persecuted, much like Jesus. The land in California was put up for sale. Louis was on the
move to a safer place. The community had been put together by all of us. It was to be a
new life for us. We had worked hard to raise funds and renovate the buildings. Many people
lived on the property and had planned their lives around the community. Suddenly it was
over. The church was to be abolished. The funds went into Louis‟s pockets. Most of the
people did not hear from Louis again. It was a hard time for many. Louis would only take a
few with him. My husband and I were among the chosen.
The Last American Chapter
In 1977 Louis acquired enough money to purchase a 400-acre retreat in northern California.
We moved the ashram to the country. There were many more volunteers, many more
people visiting, and the daily programs were becoming more and more of a production. He
assigned me as director of the facility. I was good at it. I liked the job and I liked the
people, most of whom were completely unaware of the duplicity inherent in Louis‟s
teachings and the behavior of his close disciples. I continued to block out the sexual orgies
that happened frequently. I blinded myself to the night-time wanderings of the inner group.
Louis and I had continual disagreements about the inner teachings. He claimed I was
unworthy to understand and be able to participate. I accepted this.
In order to remain part of the group and to keep my sanity, I decided to marry a man who
was also a close student of Louis‟s. Louis had matched me with him. I felt that marriage was
my only option because in the typical tradition of marriage, there was to be no meditation,
that is, no sex with other people. I could live in the ashram and follow the outer teachings.
In a way my marriage was a last resort, a final attempt at coping with the situation.
The man I married seemed to be willing to be monogamous and wanted a family. In my
heart I hoped that marrying him would save me from the duplicity into which I had spiraled.
As it turned out, my husband was as enmeshed in the subservience expected of Louis‟s
students as I was. He married his guru‟s woman he had the prize. I was a used possession,
being passed to an honor student. We continued to live in the ashram and work for Louis.
We were dependent on Louis for our livelihood. We received room and board and $150 per
month.
What I didn‟t realize was that marriage had no sanctity for the guru. Soon after the
marriage, Louis suddenly decided that in fact married people could meditate. It was not long
before he was asking my husband whether he was willing to help his spiritual father by
allowing his wife to meditate with him. My husband also could not say no to his guru. I felt
my life being torn again. The relationship between me and my teacher was not based on
either sex or religion, but on a sick misuse of power.
About this time one of the women involved in Louis‟s inner circle (an 18-year-old) had a
nervous breakdown and spent time in a psychiatric hospital. She was able to speak about
the abuse in the group, and as a result some of the secrets were revealed to the general
public. The effect rippled throughout the community of 150 people, splitting it wide open.
Louis took emergency actions and drew the inner circle tight. “We must uphold the 7,000-
year-old secret,” he proclaimed. “We have to protect yoga.” All of us, except a few, did as
told. We denied it all. We put the responsibility on the woman who had the breakdown. We
were upholding the Truth, the Eternal Way of Life. We were protecting the basic system of
“evolution.” It was not a lie. It was a yogic secret. Although some people left, many stayed
and believed their teacher and their teacher‟s closest students. Despite our cover-up, the
fallout from the exposure damaged the community feeling. It was falling apart.
During this time Louis became extremely paranoid. He trusted no one and feared for his life.
He convinced most of us that we must leave for a safer place. He was afraid that the large
property that we had just acquired would be confiscated. He was afraid he would be
persecuted, much like Jesus. The land in California was put up for sale. Louis was on the
move to a safer place. The community had been put together by all of us. It was to be a
new life for us. We had worked hard to raise funds and renovate the buildings. Many people
lived on the property and had planned their lives around the community. Suddenly it was
over. The church was to be abolished. The funds went into Louis‟s pockets. Most of the
people did not hear from Louis again. It was a hard time for many. Louis would only take a
few with him. My husband and I were among the chosen.
