Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 57
harmless. It produced a general relaxation and contemplation of life that enhances life it
did not restrict it.
Louis had his disciples divided into two categories. One category was those who were on the
willful path. They were students or married people. The other category was for those who
surrendered their life and soul to God and Guru. These people were not married and
eventually took vows of celibacy and poverty. Louis fell within the second category. The
second classification was the coveted one. If you agreed to surrender to God and Guru, you
were on the highest path. If you were unable to surrender to God and Guru, you were
relegated to the secondary path.
Regardless of which path you were on, celibacy and poverty were urged for any unmarried
student. At the time I welcomed an abstinence from sexual interactions since I had spent
my teenage years in total confusion about my goals in relation to sex. In my family, sexual
abuse had been a substitute for emotional contact. As a result, I had lived a promiscuous
and dissatisfying sexual life in my efforts to gain emotional access to others. At 23 years of
age, I was too young and immature to know what I wanted or needed on an emotional and
intimate level. I was confused about my choices and options. I welcomed celibacy, not as a
doctrine but as a reprieve.
Louis seemed to be pure, and I absorbed what he taught about sexual expression, personal
evolution, and spiritual growth. So what initially had been a reprieve became a belief.
Looking to Louis‟s perfect modeling of an unblemished and more evolved lifestyle, I chose to
follow his example. I had no idea at the time that Louis would eventually seduce his female
students and that what he presented publicly was the complete opposite of how he lived. I
wholeheartedly believed that he was living a life elevated beyond the pitfalls of sex and
material wealth. I never conceived that he was having sex with his female students, most of
them at least 20 years younger than he. I had no idea that the money he accepted as
donations went into his personal fund. He was not a renunciate, he was the ruler of a small
empire that only he controlled. He did not pay taxes and he did not work instead, he
reaped the benefits of all who toiled beneath him. It was a dictatorship, and hardly benevo-
lent.
Sexual Overtures Begin
One evening Louis invited me to his personal rooms for a spiritual guidance session. I was
surprised and honored. When I appeared at the appointed time, however, I found him in
bed with the lights dimmed. It seemed so strange and sexually charged, yet I felt my
hesitations were my problem and my fears. He was a saint, beyond sexuality and beyond
material gain. What did I have to fear? Louis launched into a long dissertation about
meditation and non-action and celibacy. I tried to follow his train of thought, but was
unsuccessful. Slowly, during this long, confusing talk, it became more and more clear to me
that he was letting me know that I had entered a new phase of meditation and I was being
chosen to meditate with him. It still didn‟t dawn on me exactly what he was talking about.
He said that meditation was non-action and therefore, if one was not the actor, one could
have sex and still be celibate. He said that because of my level of evolution, I would be his
partner in this journey toward the ultimate. I was special, the chosen one.
In retrospect I can see that because of the enforced celibacy and the lack of personal
independence enhanced by the lack of personal money, an energetic and sexual tension
arose in the community. That tension revolved around the central figure, Louis. Louis used
that tension, injecting it into the meditation that he was teaching. He professed that the
sexual energy came from the meditation, rather than it being a separate issue. Since he
was the leader and wrote the rules and regulations on the exterior level (celibacy and
renunciation), he also wrote the rules and regulations on the esoteric or hidden level, the
sexual level, the “fulfill all your desires” level.
harmless. It produced a general relaxation and contemplation of life that enhances life it
did not restrict it.
Louis had his disciples divided into two categories. One category was those who were on the
willful path. They were students or married people. The other category was for those who
surrendered their life and soul to God and Guru. These people were not married and
eventually took vows of celibacy and poverty. Louis fell within the second category. The
second classification was the coveted one. If you agreed to surrender to God and Guru, you
were on the highest path. If you were unable to surrender to God and Guru, you were
relegated to the secondary path.
Regardless of which path you were on, celibacy and poverty were urged for any unmarried
student. At the time I welcomed an abstinence from sexual interactions since I had spent
my teenage years in total confusion about my goals in relation to sex. In my family, sexual
abuse had been a substitute for emotional contact. As a result, I had lived a promiscuous
and dissatisfying sexual life in my efforts to gain emotional access to others. At 23 years of
age, I was too young and immature to know what I wanted or needed on an emotional and
intimate level. I was confused about my choices and options. I welcomed celibacy, not as a
doctrine but as a reprieve.
Louis seemed to be pure, and I absorbed what he taught about sexual expression, personal
evolution, and spiritual growth. So what initially had been a reprieve became a belief.
Looking to Louis‟s perfect modeling of an unblemished and more evolved lifestyle, I chose to
follow his example. I had no idea at the time that Louis would eventually seduce his female
students and that what he presented publicly was the complete opposite of how he lived. I
wholeheartedly believed that he was living a life elevated beyond the pitfalls of sex and
material wealth. I never conceived that he was having sex with his female students, most of
them at least 20 years younger than he. I had no idea that the money he accepted as
donations went into his personal fund. He was not a renunciate, he was the ruler of a small
empire that only he controlled. He did not pay taxes and he did not work instead, he
reaped the benefits of all who toiled beneath him. It was a dictatorship, and hardly benevo-
lent.
Sexual Overtures Begin
One evening Louis invited me to his personal rooms for a spiritual guidance session. I was
surprised and honored. When I appeared at the appointed time, however, I found him in
bed with the lights dimmed. It seemed so strange and sexually charged, yet I felt my
hesitations were my problem and my fears. He was a saint, beyond sexuality and beyond
material gain. What did I have to fear? Louis launched into a long dissertation about
meditation and non-action and celibacy. I tried to follow his train of thought, but was
unsuccessful. Slowly, during this long, confusing talk, it became more and more clear to me
that he was letting me know that I had entered a new phase of meditation and I was being
chosen to meditate with him. It still didn‟t dawn on me exactly what he was talking about.
He said that meditation was non-action and therefore, if one was not the actor, one could
have sex and still be celibate. He said that because of my level of evolution, I would be his
partner in this journey toward the ultimate. I was special, the chosen one.
In retrospect I can see that because of the enforced celibacy and the lack of personal
independence enhanced by the lack of personal money, an energetic and sexual tension
arose in the community. That tension revolved around the central figure, Louis. Louis used
that tension, injecting it into the meditation that he was teaching. He professed that the
sexual energy came from the meditation, rather than it being a separate issue. Since he
was the leader and wrote the rules and regulations on the exterior level (celibacy and
renunciation), he also wrote the rules and regulations on the esoteric or hidden level, the
sexual level, the “fulfill all your desires” level.
