Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 34
rationalize her behavior to herself. As in my own case (and perhaps in Janie‟s), the mother
may live in a constant state of resentment and be characterized as a bad group member.
Some mothers may repress their sense of right, fully embracing the group’s ideology, yet
maintain an unconscious feeling about what is right. As these mothers begin to question the
group, this feeling is slowly articulated. These may often be the “good” cult members.
Some mothers may resolve the conflict by a total submission to the group and its
deceptions, perhaps in exchange for a degree of power (see Singer with Lalich, 1995, p.
278). And perhaps these are the mothers who get permanently trapped. Is it the case that
some may totally lose contact with their own sense of right, thus taking on the cult leader‟s
psychopathology? Perhaps this is how the mantle of inheritance is bestowed in long-lasting
cults?
Reaching Limits
For most of the mothers, leaving the cult was a complex process involving the following
factors:
Beginning to connect a “generalized feeling of being unhappy” with an often protracted
intellectual process of evaluating the group’s actions. Helen said, “I started seeing
inconsistencies --I wasn‟t judging, but I was aware. When the thought processes kicked in
they were acute, keen. I started journaling.” Mary stayed in an extra year to see if people
were ever allowed to ask questions. Instead she “saw people‟s questions rebuffed and
ridiculed, over and over,” and that finally helped her get out.
Reaching some kind of limit in how their children were being treated. Helen described the
following: “I wept over Jonah when he was born because ...I knew what was in store for
him. One of the brethren had held a gun to one of my twin‟s face, and pulled the trigger --
my child didn‟t know it was unloaded. But this is why I wept for Jonah.... The last straw was
when a woman kicked him when he was a year and a half old --because he was wiggling
around. It was over and I knew it. I had no fear of what anyone thought for the first time.
We were all in the church and I got all my kids. I said, “„Get your blankets,‟ and they got
their stuff and we left.”
Anne said, “One of the reasons I left was because I didn‟t want to get back to working every
day and night and weekends and leave Beth. I wasn‟t going to do that again.”
Many of the mothers echoed Helen‟s statement: “I thought, „You can hurt me, but...not my
kids, not anymore.‟”
The limits on what the mothers could tolerate vis-à-vis the group‟s treatment of their
children varied drastically. The incidents triggering the mothers‟ limits were also not
necessarily either the “worst” thing that had happened to the children or the first time such
a thing had been done. For instance, Helen‟s children had been subjected to a great deal of
physical abuse the kick that was the last straw was just one of many. When questioned
about why that particular incident triggered her to leave, Helen replied: “The members were
watching movies about the Holocaust, and I saw my kid‟s face in that movie. I could have
endured the greatest humiliation (and I did), but I couldn‟t keep on letting the children get
hurt.... It got so old --daily, for all those years. The children were what made the
intellectual stuff [thinking again] necessary.”
In a few cases, the limit the mother reached centered around her own treatment. Janie
finally walked out of a meeting after being told, yet again, that she was a bad person and a
bad wife. “I called my husband and he came and got me and I said, „I‟m never going back.‟
I realized I didn‟t need to be treated that way.”
rationalize her behavior to herself. As in my own case (and perhaps in Janie‟s), the mother
may live in a constant state of resentment and be characterized as a bad group member.
Some mothers may repress their sense of right, fully embracing the group’s ideology, yet
maintain an unconscious feeling about what is right. As these mothers begin to question the
group, this feeling is slowly articulated. These may often be the “good” cult members.
Some mothers may resolve the conflict by a total submission to the group and its
deceptions, perhaps in exchange for a degree of power (see Singer with Lalich, 1995, p.
278). And perhaps these are the mothers who get permanently trapped. Is it the case that
some may totally lose contact with their own sense of right, thus taking on the cult leader‟s
psychopathology? Perhaps this is how the mantle of inheritance is bestowed in long-lasting
cults?
Reaching Limits
For most of the mothers, leaving the cult was a complex process involving the following
factors:
Beginning to connect a “generalized feeling of being unhappy” with an often protracted
intellectual process of evaluating the group’s actions. Helen said, “I started seeing
inconsistencies --I wasn‟t judging, but I was aware. When the thought processes kicked in
they were acute, keen. I started journaling.” Mary stayed in an extra year to see if people
were ever allowed to ask questions. Instead she “saw people‟s questions rebuffed and
ridiculed, over and over,” and that finally helped her get out.
Reaching some kind of limit in how their children were being treated. Helen described the
following: “I wept over Jonah when he was born because ...I knew what was in store for
him. One of the brethren had held a gun to one of my twin‟s face, and pulled the trigger --
my child didn‟t know it was unloaded. But this is why I wept for Jonah.... The last straw was
when a woman kicked him when he was a year and a half old --because he was wiggling
around. It was over and I knew it. I had no fear of what anyone thought for the first time.
We were all in the church and I got all my kids. I said, “„Get your blankets,‟ and they got
their stuff and we left.”
Anne said, “One of the reasons I left was because I didn‟t want to get back to working every
day and night and weekends and leave Beth. I wasn‟t going to do that again.”
Many of the mothers echoed Helen‟s statement: “I thought, „You can hurt me, but...not my
kids, not anymore.‟”
The limits on what the mothers could tolerate vis-à-vis the group‟s treatment of their
children varied drastically. The incidents triggering the mothers‟ limits were also not
necessarily either the “worst” thing that had happened to the children or the first time such
a thing had been done. For instance, Helen‟s children had been subjected to a great deal of
physical abuse the kick that was the last straw was just one of many. When questioned
about why that particular incident triggered her to leave, Helen replied: “The members were
watching movies about the Holocaust, and I saw my kid‟s face in that movie. I could have
endured the greatest humiliation (and I did), but I couldn‟t keep on letting the children get
hurt.... It got so old --daily, for all those years. The children were what made the
intellectual stuff [thinking again] necessary.”
In a few cases, the limit the mother reached centered around her own treatment. Janie
finally walked out of a meeting after being told, yet again, that she was a bad person and a
bad wife. “I called my husband and he came and got me and I said, „I‟m never going back.‟
I realized I didn‟t need to be treated that way.”
