Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 37
should teach their children to think --at the risk of them disagreeing with the parent. My
children and I talk about everything. There‟s a power in having no more secrets.”
All of the women I interviewed were glad of the opportunity to revisit this experience,
despite its painful nature, and they felt that there was a benefit to them in doing so.
Conclusion
Being in a cult per se does not have to permanently damage the mother-child bond
although, clearly, the experience has a severe impact on the bond. As Anne remarked,
“There‟s a dual allegiance. It‟s a power relationship. Your child is powerless, and you have
less power than the cult leader. Your child has no one but you to protect them.... A mother
should primarily be taking care of her child. But in a cult, it‟s always a conflict.”
If demonstrated by the women I interviewed, the prognosis for recovery of that bond is
good, so long as the cult experience is dealt with honestly and openly. Though it is a
devastating way to learn, many of these mothers felt that they had gained a deep and
lasting understanding of issues of power abuse and that, in most cases, they were able to
pass this on to their children. They shared a strong desire to encourage critical and
independent thinking in their children.
It is my hope that these mothers‟ stories will not be wasted: that those of us who are
concerned about cults will continue to study the experiences of cult survivors in order to
effectively educate and inform the public to prevent future tragedies.
References
Atack, J. (1990). A piece of blue sky. New York: Lyle Stuart.
Boulette, T.R., &Andersen, S.M. (1986). “Mind control” and the battering of women. Cultic
Studies Journal, 3,1, 25-35.
Connor, R. (1979). Walled in: The true story of a cult. New York: Signet.
Deikman, A.J. (1990). The wrong way home. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.
Feinsod, E. (1981). Awake in a nightmare. New York: Norton.
Langone, M.D. (Ed.). (1993). Recovery from cults: Help for victims of psychological and
spiritual abuse. New York: Norton.
Singer, M.T., with Lalich, J. (1995). Cults in our midst: The hidden menace in our everyday
lives. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Tobias, M.L., &Lalich, J. (1994). Captive hearts, captive minds: Freedom and recovery from
cults and abusive relationships. Alameda, CA: Hunter House.
Acknowledgments
I would like to acknowledge the brave women who shared their stories with me.
********************
Alexandra Stein spent 10 years in a leftist political cult based in Minnesota. She is
currently writing a book about this experience. She volunteers as a cult awareness activist
and educator.
This article is an electronic version of an article originally published in Cultic Studies Journal, 1997, Volume 14,
Number 1, pages 40-57. Please keep in mind that the pagination of this electronic reprint differs from that of the
bound volume. This fact could affect how you enter bibliographic information in papers that you may write.

Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 14, No. 1, 1997, page 38
Sex, Lies, and Grand Schemes of Thought
in Closed Groups
A Collective of Women
Abstract
This article explores the invisible dynamics of control and submission in a closed
group with which the authors were affiliated for many years. Relying on Herman‟s
(1992) model of psychological captivity, the article illustrates the psychological
dynamics of the “courtship” of recruits and the covert coercive control through
which individual identity is dismantled and the worldview of the group‟s leader
introduced. Three methods of control are discussed: fear induction, destruction of
autonomy, and breaking of personality. The last part of the article explores how
cultural issues related to sexism enhance the power of high-demand groups.
We write as women who spent an average of 20 years involved in a philosophically oriented,
religious community based on the teachings of George Gurdjieff and Peter Ouspensky. All of
us have now left the group, most within the past 5 years. Yet, we are still dealing with the
aftereffects of what we have come to see was a destructive world permeated with the
dynamics of hidden control.
Some of us are still wondering what happened to our lives. How were we willingly entrapped
in a destructive world for so long? No one forced us to join the group or to stay, or so it
would appear. Rather, we were attracted to the group and its leader. We became
passionately involved, even zealous in our apparent commitment, loyal and dedicated to our
own undoing. Over time, we undermined our capacities for free thought, for hearing our
own conscience, for mutuality in relationship, and for finding our own way in the world. How
did this happen to us?
We write anonymously and disguise the identity of the group because we fear that
harassment may follow exposure. We acknowledge that our perspective on how our group
functioned is personal and that others may disagree with part or all of what we say,
although we are confident that many would agree. Our goal is not to “expose” a particular
group, or to “define” it through the articulation of our personal experience. Our goal is to
alert others to the elements of influence that can unwittingly bind people to what ultimately
harms them, and, especially, to the dangers of involvement with seemingly benevolent,
self-appointed leaders. In addition to mastering our own legacy of confusion, betrayal,
anger, and fear, we hope to shed light on the largely invisible dynamics of control and
submission that sustain such groups and the culture at large. Also we want to offer a view
of what it was like --how silent and unobtrusive the soul-killing can be.
Cults and Auras of Authenticity
Closed, doctrinaire groups with self-appointed leaders are commonly called cults. We prefer
not to use the label cultic, which is so loaded with negative connotations and lack of
understanding that the word itself stops further inquiry. No one ever believes that he or she
is in a cult (or a cultic relationship). Just as battered women rarely recognize themselves as
battered, few followers would ever acknowledge cult membership. Ask anyone you know
who is deeply involved with whatever group, and most likely that person will tell you that
the group is a legitimate organization with a leader, if there is one, who furthers the
members‟ interests (be they philosophical, religious, political). Yet, some of those groups
are probably high-demand, closed environments breeding the psychological chains that
enable manipulation by the leader. Mention “cultic” and the person may walk away,
unwilling to talk further.