Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 2, No. 2, 2003, Page 86
Being in Atlanta, there were a lot more singles. Dating was interesting. It came with its
own set of unwritten ―rules‖—no single dates, always doubles or group dates, home by
midnight, don‘t sit in a parked car to talk, no hand-holding, and definitely no kissing. The
purpose was to encourage the brothers and get to know the other singles in Atlanta. If a
brother asked me out, it usually meant that he had already asked his discipler, who had
asked your discipler, if he could ask you out. So, it was expected that if a guy asks you out,
for a Friday or Saturday night, you would say yes. This didn‘t always happen, however.
Bill, for instance, was one of my good friends, but he was told that he couldn‘t ask me out
on a date, since he was not at my level he wasn‘t leadership material. Shawn led the
singles group in the West sector of Atlanta and friends had introduced us. He was an up-
and-coming leader who had played baseball in college. We got along well and soon began
dating every other week (the maximum if you like someone). I was going to a lot of
functions in the West and was meeting those people.
Marissa had been my discipler since I was officially switched to Dunwoody. One night she
told me that our women‘s sector leader, Ally, had informed her that Kim Sapp, the Women‘s
Ministry Leader for Atlanta, Steve Sapp‘s wife, wanted to meet with me. None of us knew
what it was about. I figured that I was in trouble for something. Ally and I went to Kim‘s
later that week and after a bit of chit-chat, Kim asked me if I would like to go on staff? I
was speechless. It is an honor to go on staff, and everyone talks about their ―Kingdom
Dream‖ of being a leader. I had never really considered it. I had only been in the church for
six months and was being asked to lead. Of course I said yes. I would be starting in the
New Year, leading the teens of Atlanta with Shawn. Sonny and Carolyn Sessions had been
leading them, along with several other sectors, and they felt that a younger approach might
work well. I would start being discipled by Carolyn, a middle aged mother of teens, to learn
the ropes. I would move in with Sandra who currently led the singles in the West with
Shawn, and Sherry, who worked in the church office. I was to plan on working with Shawn
daily to plan our ministry, and to meet all of the teen workers and learn from Sonny and
Carolyn.
My salary was adjusted to enable me to pay for the area I was living in, my costs of living,
and my tithe. Men always made more, since they paid for all dates. The church did not
want their employees in debt, said it was sinful, so they asked me to bring in my credit card
statements so they could help me work out a payment plan. Pretty cool perk! So, for every
$100 I paid toward the balance, the church would pay $300, so within 12 months, it would
be paid off. (I even have that one in writing). Funny that I never knew everyone‘s tithe
went towards paying off ministry staff‘s debts. Even costs I ran up on Spring Breaks and at
bars.
My parents were very surprised at my announcement that I would be on ministry staff. I
had no ministry training, no teen counseling training, just experience being a teen camp
counselor. I had gone to graduate school for sports medicine and now I was going into the
ministry. They had never heard of an employer paying off credit card debt, either.
Interesting. I thought that they just didn‘t ―get it,‖ they didn‘t have God in their lives, and
they couldn‘t relate anymore. Our conversations had become brief and strained, as had my
conversations with my best friends from college. I think this was when my parents started
to seriously question what I had gotten involved with.
I had gotten very busy with quiet times, discipling times (d-times) with my teen workers
and teens, d-time with Caroline, planning with Shawn, and leading studies with my teens. I
was even singing on stage on Sundays, at services in the West. When I told the leaders
that I could not sing very well, they said, ―Just step back from the microphone‖. My days
often involved getting up between 5 and 6 AM to go to a group prayer, do my quiet time,
meet with my people, studies, social events or mid-week, or teen worker meetings until
midnight or studies with the singles that would go even later. I was getting very little sleep.
Being in Atlanta, there were a lot more singles. Dating was interesting. It came with its
own set of unwritten ―rules‖—no single dates, always doubles or group dates, home by
midnight, don‘t sit in a parked car to talk, no hand-holding, and definitely no kissing. The
purpose was to encourage the brothers and get to know the other singles in Atlanta. If a
brother asked me out, it usually meant that he had already asked his discipler, who had
asked your discipler, if he could ask you out. So, it was expected that if a guy asks you out,
for a Friday or Saturday night, you would say yes. This didn‘t always happen, however.
Bill, for instance, was one of my good friends, but he was told that he couldn‘t ask me out
on a date, since he was not at my level he wasn‘t leadership material. Shawn led the
singles group in the West sector of Atlanta and friends had introduced us. He was an up-
and-coming leader who had played baseball in college. We got along well and soon began
dating every other week (the maximum if you like someone). I was going to a lot of
functions in the West and was meeting those people.
Marissa had been my discipler since I was officially switched to Dunwoody. One night she
told me that our women‘s sector leader, Ally, had informed her that Kim Sapp, the Women‘s
Ministry Leader for Atlanta, Steve Sapp‘s wife, wanted to meet with me. None of us knew
what it was about. I figured that I was in trouble for something. Ally and I went to Kim‘s
later that week and after a bit of chit-chat, Kim asked me if I would like to go on staff? I
was speechless. It is an honor to go on staff, and everyone talks about their ―Kingdom
Dream‖ of being a leader. I had never really considered it. I had only been in the church for
six months and was being asked to lead. Of course I said yes. I would be starting in the
New Year, leading the teens of Atlanta with Shawn. Sonny and Carolyn Sessions had been
leading them, along with several other sectors, and they felt that a younger approach might
work well. I would start being discipled by Carolyn, a middle aged mother of teens, to learn
the ropes. I would move in with Sandra who currently led the singles in the West with
Shawn, and Sherry, who worked in the church office. I was to plan on working with Shawn
daily to plan our ministry, and to meet all of the teen workers and learn from Sonny and
Carolyn.
My salary was adjusted to enable me to pay for the area I was living in, my costs of living,
and my tithe. Men always made more, since they paid for all dates. The church did not
want their employees in debt, said it was sinful, so they asked me to bring in my credit card
statements so they could help me work out a payment plan. Pretty cool perk! So, for every
$100 I paid toward the balance, the church would pay $300, so within 12 months, it would
be paid off. (I even have that one in writing). Funny that I never knew everyone‘s tithe
went towards paying off ministry staff‘s debts. Even costs I ran up on Spring Breaks and at
bars.
My parents were very surprised at my announcement that I would be on ministry staff. I
had no ministry training, no teen counseling training, just experience being a teen camp
counselor. I had gone to graduate school for sports medicine and now I was going into the
ministry. They had never heard of an employer paying off credit card debt, either.
Interesting. I thought that they just didn‘t ―get it,‖ they didn‘t have God in their lives, and
they couldn‘t relate anymore. Our conversations had become brief and strained, as had my
conversations with my best friends from college. I think this was when my parents started
to seriously question what I had gotten involved with.
I had gotten very busy with quiet times, discipling times (d-times) with my teen workers
and teens, d-time with Caroline, planning with Shawn, and leading studies with my teens. I
was even singing on stage on Sundays, at services in the West. When I told the leaders
that I could not sing very well, they said, ―Just step back from the microphone‖. My days
often involved getting up between 5 and 6 AM to go to a group prayer, do my quiet time,
meet with my people, studies, social events or mid-week, or teen worker meetings until
midnight or studies with the singles that would go even later. I was getting very little sleep.
