Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 15, No. 2, 1998, page 20
my wife.
When I was standing there saying my vows with Julie a year later, I was thinking, ―When
this is over, when this marriage ends in another year or two, I‘ll go back to the group.‖ I
had never told Julie about them. We moved from Raleigh to New York.
When I was in the group, I had been engaged to a woman in the group. When all these
changes were happening, and people were leaving Raleigh looking for new jobs, the woman
I was going to marry went home to Brooklyn. She told her parents, who were Jewish, about
being in this group, and that she believed the leader of the group was the Christ. She tried
to go back, and her parents stopped her. She got really violent, and when she called me the
last time I talked to her, she was calling me from Kings County Hospital. Her parents had
her put in the hospital on a 72-hour mental health hold. After that, I swore I would never
tell anyone about this group, because if I did, what had happened to her would happen to
me.
Recovery
I didn‘t mention the group for two years after Julie and I had been married. The first year in
New York City we didn‘t attend church. I couldn‘t even think about going into a church.
Then Julie started going to Calvary Baptist Church in New York City, and I started attending
with her. Eventually, the church had a seminar called Gods of the New Age. I thought, ―This
is great! I can go to this seminar with her, she‘ll watch this movie and hear the discussion.
Then I can explain to her what I believe, and that it‘s really not that farfetched.‖
Well, the woman at the seminar, Nancy, gave her testimony and started talking about a
group she had been in that was very similar to the one I had been in. I thought, ―No way!
Our group was the special one. We were the ones who had all the answers.‖ But hers was
so similar. And she said two words in her testimony that just jumped out at me. She said,
―I‘ve been duped, and everything I believed was a counterfeit.‖
And with those two words, ―duped‖ and ―counterfeit,‖ I thought, ―Yikes! That‘s what has
happened to me. I was duped.‖ And I knew I had to talk to her. I called the church and
arranged a meeting with Nancy. About a week later we met in the church. She started
sharing some scripture with me, and it was as if the blinders rolled off. It was as if I had
never heard these things before.
But I still wasn‘t ready to make a recommitment. She asked, ―Do you know what you really
need? You need deliverance.‖ I thought, ―What am I getting into now?‖ She sent me off to
a ministry where they laid hands on me and prayed for me. I thought, ―Okay, I‘m just going
to go through with it because I don‘t ever have to see these people again.‖ This was two
and a half years after I left the group.
A week later, I was down on Eighth Avenue in the Village in New York, and I realized it had
been a week since my prayer experience, and I had not thought about the group I‘d been
in—I hadn‘t thought about going back to them. Before this, from the day I left the group, I
would go to bed thinking about the group, and when and how I was going to get back to it.
I would wake up every single day thinking about the group. Before the Gods of the New Age
seminar, I had written a letter telling the group that I would leave my wife and come back
to them if they would let me. I had stood at the mailbox and could not mail that letter.
That event was the beginning of my realization that I was free of the group. Somebody
spoke yesterday about ―parking issues.‖ I love the way she explained that when you ―park‖
an issue when you go into a cult, the issue is still there when you come out. This is what I
had to deal with then: parked issues.
Shortly after this realization, our son, Tucker, was born, and we moved back to NC. About a
year later, I started seminary in Wake Forest, NC. Through a series of courses at the
my wife.
When I was standing there saying my vows with Julie a year later, I was thinking, ―When
this is over, when this marriage ends in another year or two, I‘ll go back to the group.‖ I
had never told Julie about them. We moved from Raleigh to New York.
When I was in the group, I had been engaged to a woman in the group. When all these
changes were happening, and people were leaving Raleigh looking for new jobs, the woman
I was going to marry went home to Brooklyn. She told her parents, who were Jewish, about
being in this group, and that she believed the leader of the group was the Christ. She tried
to go back, and her parents stopped her. She got really violent, and when she called me the
last time I talked to her, she was calling me from Kings County Hospital. Her parents had
her put in the hospital on a 72-hour mental health hold. After that, I swore I would never
tell anyone about this group, because if I did, what had happened to her would happen to
me.
Recovery
I didn‘t mention the group for two years after Julie and I had been married. The first year in
New York City we didn‘t attend church. I couldn‘t even think about going into a church.
Then Julie started going to Calvary Baptist Church in New York City, and I started attending
with her. Eventually, the church had a seminar called Gods of the New Age. I thought, ―This
is great! I can go to this seminar with her, she‘ll watch this movie and hear the discussion.
Then I can explain to her what I believe, and that it‘s really not that farfetched.‖
Well, the woman at the seminar, Nancy, gave her testimony and started talking about a
group she had been in that was very similar to the one I had been in. I thought, ―No way!
Our group was the special one. We were the ones who had all the answers.‖ But hers was
so similar. And she said two words in her testimony that just jumped out at me. She said,
―I‘ve been duped, and everything I believed was a counterfeit.‖
And with those two words, ―duped‖ and ―counterfeit,‖ I thought, ―Yikes! That‘s what has
happened to me. I was duped.‖ And I knew I had to talk to her. I called the church and
arranged a meeting with Nancy. About a week later we met in the church. She started
sharing some scripture with me, and it was as if the blinders rolled off. It was as if I had
never heard these things before.
But I still wasn‘t ready to make a recommitment. She asked, ―Do you know what you really
need? You need deliverance.‖ I thought, ―What am I getting into now?‖ She sent me off to
a ministry where they laid hands on me and prayed for me. I thought, ―Okay, I‘m just going
to go through with it because I don‘t ever have to see these people again.‖ This was two
and a half years after I left the group.
A week later, I was down on Eighth Avenue in the Village in New York, and I realized it had
been a week since my prayer experience, and I had not thought about the group I‘d been
in—I hadn‘t thought about going back to them. Before this, from the day I left the group, I
would go to bed thinking about the group, and when and how I was going to get back to it.
I would wake up every single day thinking about the group. Before the Gods of the New Age
seminar, I had written a letter telling the group that I would leave my wife and come back
to them if they would let me. I had stood at the mailbox and could not mail that letter.
That event was the beginning of my realization that I was free of the group. Somebody
spoke yesterday about ―parking issues.‖ I love the way she explained that when you ―park‖
an issue when you go into a cult, the issue is still there when you come out. This is what I
had to deal with then: parked issues.
Shortly after this realization, our son, Tucker, was born, and we moved back to NC. About a
year later, I started seminary in Wake Forest, NC. Through a series of courses at the
