Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 15, No. 2, 1998, page 19
special meditation. One of the things we were continually told in this group (remember,
here we were, it was very secretive, and there were all these actors and actresses) was,
―Don‘t be glamorized by your affiliation with this group.‖ Well, how could I not be? People
in the group were told such things as, ―Did you know that in past lifetimes this couple were
Mary and Joseph (or another of the old great world leaders)?‖ It just was a great group to
hang around with.
We had a special mission in the theater. We put on shows. People would come in and see a
show, and we were doing very well. We received many awards, but nobody outside knew
what the driving force of the theater was behind the scenes. We were told one of the
reasons we were doing so well is that by coming to see the shows at the theater, these
people would have entities removed from them, and these entities would attach to all of us.
The people attending the theater wouldn‘t know what was going on, but they would ―get
cleared‖ by coming to our theater, and that would keep them coming back.
I was in this group for two and a half years. Getting out started for me in 1982 when the
leaders had a falling out, causing a split in the group. We had to decide which group, which
leader, we would go with. And the group split families split. Children—eleven-, twelve-,
thirteen-year-olds—had to decide which leader they were going to follow, and the parents
just left it up to them. So families were split with some children going with one parent and
some with another parent. This was a very sad time, and it was hard for everyone in the
group. But we made our decisions.
At this point, there were about eighty people in the group, which just about split down the
middle. The group I went with began planning to move back to Washington, because that
was where our leader was in business. I said, ―Fine, I have some things here to close up,
and I will catch up with you all in a month or two.‖ About a week after I had said that, I had
packed and was driving the leader‘s truck across the country. She was ahead of us, and we
were in Flagstaff, Arizona with these U-Haul trucks out in the parking lot. We said in a
phone call with the group that it was like the Grapes of Wrath, with everybody just loaded
on — but heading east instead. While we were at a hotel in Flagstaff, it was suddenly
revealed to the group that ―Now you‘re going to Raleigh, North Carolina, and not
Washington, D.C.‖ Okay. So there we were, and we headed to Raleigh. We didn‘t know
anybody, but we set up there. We started another theater, and that was January 1982.
By the following September, people weren‘t getting jobs. They were starting to leave and go
back to New York, back to LA, up to Washington. By the end of September, I was the last
person from the group left in Raleigh. I decided, ―I can‘t do this anymore. I can‘t keep
moving.‖ I found a job that I liked there. I was doing commercials in Charlotte, and I
wanted to stay. After about a month being by myself, I wrote a letter to the leader of the
group saying, ―I can‘t do this anymore. I don‘t have the strength it takes I‘m not one of
you.‖
Official Departure
And I left the group—officially, I left the group. But in my heart and mind, I still believed
everything about them. I still believed the leader was Christ. Essentially, I believed that by
leaving the group I was turning my back on God, that I could never go back to Him, and
that I had done so for all eternity. There was absolutely no way I would be accepted back.
In yesterday‘s presentations, I heard someone mention the holy loneliness. I had never
been East before, and I was in North Carolina by myself. The loneliness I felt there was the
darkest period of my life. I was working in this job, and I would just come home. Or maybe
I‘d go to the movies.
I didn‘t know then that this breaking away was the beginning of a very slow, long recovery.
About a month later, I was working in a play and met a woman, Julie, who would become
special meditation. One of the things we were continually told in this group (remember,
here we were, it was very secretive, and there were all these actors and actresses) was,
―Don‘t be glamorized by your affiliation with this group.‖ Well, how could I not be? People
in the group were told such things as, ―Did you know that in past lifetimes this couple were
Mary and Joseph (or another of the old great world leaders)?‖ It just was a great group to
hang around with.
We had a special mission in the theater. We put on shows. People would come in and see a
show, and we were doing very well. We received many awards, but nobody outside knew
what the driving force of the theater was behind the scenes. We were told one of the
reasons we were doing so well is that by coming to see the shows at the theater, these
people would have entities removed from them, and these entities would attach to all of us.
The people attending the theater wouldn‘t know what was going on, but they would ―get
cleared‖ by coming to our theater, and that would keep them coming back.
I was in this group for two and a half years. Getting out started for me in 1982 when the
leaders had a falling out, causing a split in the group. We had to decide which group, which
leader, we would go with. And the group split families split. Children—eleven-, twelve-,
thirteen-year-olds—had to decide which leader they were going to follow, and the parents
just left it up to them. So families were split with some children going with one parent and
some with another parent. This was a very sad time, and it was hard for everyone in the
group. But we made our decisions.
At this point, there were about eighty people in the group, which just about split down the
middle. The group I went with began planning to move back to Washington, because that
was where our leader was in business. I said, ―Fine, I have some things here to close up,
and I will catch up with you all in a month or two.‖ About a week after I had said that, I had
packed and was driving the leader‘s truck across the country. She was ahead of us, and we
were in Flagstaff, Arizona with these U-Haul trucks out in the parking lot. We said in a
phone call with the group that it was like the Grapes of Wrath, with everybody just loaded
on — but heading east instead. While we were at a hotel in Flagstaff, it was suddenly
revealed to the group that ―Now you‘re going to Raleigh, North Carolina, and not
Washington, D.C.‖ Okay. So there we were, and we headed to Raleigh. We didn‘t know
anybody, but we set up there. We started another theater, and that was January 1982.
By the following September, people weren‘t getting jobs. They were starting to leave and go
back to New York, back to LA, up to Washington. By the end of September, I was the last
person from the group left in Raleigh. I decided, ―I can‘t do this anymore. I can‘t keep
moving.‖ I found a job that I liked there. I was doing commercials in Charlotte, and I
wanted to stay. After about a month being by myself, I wrote a letter to the leader of the
group saying, ―I can‘t do this anymore. I don‘t have the strength it takes I‘m not one of
you.‖
Official Departure
And I left the group—officially, I left the group. But in my heart and mind, I still believed
everything about them. I still believed the leader was Christ. Essentially, I believed that by
leaving the group I was turning my back on God, that I could never go back to Him, and
that I had done so for all eternity. There was absolutely no way I would be accepted back.
In yesterday‘s presentations, I heard someone mention the holy loneliness. I had never
been East before, and I was in North Carolina by myself. The loneliness I felt there was the
darkest period of my life. I was working in this job, and I would just come home. Or maybe
I‘d go to the movies.
I didn‘t know then that this breaking away was the beginning of a very slow, long recovery.
About a month later, I was working in a play and met a woman, Julie, who would become
