Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 15, No. 2, 1998, page 17
From Counterfeit to Truth:
A Personal Quest
Carson Miles, M.A.
Denver, Colorado
I feel I should have been prepared for getting into one of these groups. I‘m also one who
grew up in church. My grandfather was a pastor, and in high school I was president of our
Young Life Club and vice president of Methodist Youth Fellowship. But I was also struggling
with my involvement in these groups and with drinking and drugs. I had two different lives,
and I kept them very separate.
Group Experiences
In college my drinking really became a problem. I wanted to quit. I went to my psychology
professor and said, ―I need some help with this what can I do?‖ And she said, ―Well, I
have a friend who teaches Transcendental Meditation. You might want to try this
technique.‖ I told her, ―I‘m a Christian.‖ But she replied, ―It‘s not a religion it will just
enhance what you believe about your Christianity.‖ ―Well, fine,‖ I thought. I just wanted to
quit drinking.
So I was initiated into TM, and I did it religiously. I stayed sober for about six months,
which at that point was great for me. I got more and more into TM. I started reading more
Eastern books, such as The Biography of a Yogi, Yogananda‘s book, and Be Here Now, by
Ram Dass. But because of my addictive personality, I continued to struggle with the
drinking and I was really getting into TM.
My father passed away around that time, and a few months later I got my first DUI. I
decided, ―Now it‘s getting bad, and I really have to quit.‖ So I got into an outpatient
treatment facility, which lasted about three weeks, and I knew I couldn‘t drink anymore. But
I wasn‘t really dealing with the alcohol issue.
Self-realization Fellowship
So I moved to LA to start working on my acting career (I studied acting in college). In LA, I
started attending Self-Realization Fellowship, which had a temple on Sunset Boulevard.
There was a little chapel there with a lake, and I used to go there and meditate. Then I
began to attend their Sunday services. I became more and more involved with Self-
Realization Fellowship, taking their lessons and doing the Kriya.
I still wasn‘t drinking I was sober. I knew I couldn‘t drink—but I wasn‘t dealing with that
issue because I thought it was history.
While I was involved with Self-Realization Fellowship, I ran into an old friend whom I had
gotten into TM a few years before. Now, however, she was into Siddha Yoga. She said,
―You ought to come down to the ashram and try this.‖ So I went to the Siddha Yoga
ashram and got into that too.
Siddha Yoga
I went from being a Christian and growing up in church, to TM, which I thought enhanced
my Christianity, to Self-Realization Fellowship, to Siddha Yoga. I was now bowing before
the guru, leaving fruit at his feet, and getting my kundalini zapped (that was the big thing in
Siddha Yoga). The guru would come around and either hit you with his peacock feathers,
which would awaken your kundalini, or touch your forehead, which also was supposed to
help. And I believed it.
From Counterfeit to Truth:
A Personal Quest
Carson Miles, M.A.
Denver, Colorado
I feel I should have been prepared for getting into one of these groups. I‘m also one who
grew up in church. My grandfather was a pastor, and in high school I was president of our
Young Life Club and vice president of Methodist Youth Fellowship. But I was also struggling
with my involvement in these groups and with drinking and drugs. I had two different lives,
and I kept them very separate.
Group Experiences
In college my drinking really became a problem. I wanted to quit. I went to my psychology
professor and said, ―I need some help with this what can I do?‖ And she said, ―Well, I
have a friend who teaches Transcendental Meditation. You might want to try this
technique.‖ I told her, ―I‘m a Christian.‖ But she replied, ―It‘s not a religion it will just
enhance what you believe about your Christianity.‖ ―Well, fine,‖ I thought. I just wanted to
quit drinking.
So I was initiated into TM, and I did it religiously. I stayed sober for about six months,
which at that point was great for me. I got more and more into TM. I started reading more
Eastern books, such as The Biography of a Yogi, Yogananda‘s book, and Be Here Now, by
Ram Dass. But because of my addictive personality, I continued to struggle with the
drinking and I was really getting into TM.
My father passed away around that time, and a few months later I got my first DUI. I
decided, ―Now it‘s getting bad, and I really have to quit.‖ So I got into an outpatient
treatment facility, which lasted about three weeks, and I knew I couldn‘t drink anymore. But
I wasn‘t really dealing with the alcohol issue.
Self-realization Fellowship
So I moved to LA to start working on my acting career (I studied acting in college). In LA, I
started attending Self-Realization Fellowship, which had a temple on Sunset Boulevard.
There was a little chapel there with a lake, and I used to go there and meditate. Then I
began to attend their Sunday services. I became more and more involved with Self-
Realization Fellowship, taking their lessons and doing the Kriya.
I still wasn‘t drinking I was sober. I knew I couldn‘t drink—but I wasn‘t dealing with that
issue because I thought it was history.
While I was involved with Self-Realization Fellowship, I ran into an old friend whom I had
gotten into TM a few years before. Now, however, she was into Siddha Yoga. She said,
―You ought to come down to the ashram and try this.‖ So I went to the Siddha Yoga
ashram and got into that too.
Siddha Yoga
I went from being a Christian and growing up in church, to TM, which I thought enhanced
my Christianity, to Self-Realization Fellowship, to Siddha Yoga. I was now bowing before
the guru, leaving fruit at his feet, and getting my kundalini zapped (that was the big thing in
Siddha Yoga). The guru would come around and either hit you with his peacock feathers,
which would awaken your kundalini, or touch your forehead, which also was supposed to
help. And I believed it.
