Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 15, No. 2, 1998, page 15
tapes about various cults and received some academic tutorial assistance while attending
this seminary.
As I mentioned, counseling eventually entered the picture. Much of my counseling centered
on my extremely dysfunctional behavior, which I was later to find stemmed ultimately from
―family of origin‖ issues. In the course of my recovery, I sought professional individual
counseling, and I joined an ex-member support group for two years. I was involved with a
group here locally with Sharon Hilderbrandt (a local Christian counselor). I found it
extremely helpful to hear other people tell their stories. After two years as a member, I
moved on to being a co-facilitator and facilitator of support and recovery groups, where I
worked with people out of the Boston Church of Christ and other similar aberrant and cultic
groups.
Looking back, I‘ve realized that the greatest need people initially have coming out of a cultic
group is to be listened to. No matter how long it takes, no matter how often they tell their
story, being carefully, empathetically listened to is essential!
I also went through marital counseling, where I learned how to fight constructively with my
spouse, and in general, how to communicate effectively. Such things simply were not
necessary in my previous group because everything was siphoned through the leader.
Marital counseling really helped me learn the true nature of biblically defined growth and
how to identify unhealthy forms of dependency.
The third sphere of influence in my recovery, in addition to the cognitive work and
counseling, concerned the development of safe and healthy interpersonal relationships.
There were those who not only modeled what genuine Christian spirituality looks like, but in
many ways were mentors --people such as Alan Myatt, Gordon Lewis, Sharon Hilderbrandt,
Robert K. McGregor Wright, and most recently, Doug Groothuis. Each has contributed much
to my recovery, and I greatly appreciate them all. There were also peers and other ex-
members who could understand and who did much to help identify both what happened to
me and my part in it.
The fourth sphere of influence pertained to the process of giving back what has been so
richly given to me. This giving back occurred in my personal involvement in countercult
work that helped to cement the mixed pieces I had previously gathered. I spent four years
with Alan, as an understudy of sorts in Shield of Faith. I tagged along with Alan, listening,
questioning, learning more about cult dynamics and beliefs, and contributing wherever I
could.
During the four years following that internship, 1988 to 1992, I directed the Shield of Faith
organization and worked along with 30 other volunteers. The organization worked
extensively in educational, evangelistic, and counseling activities. We were able to help
many find various levels of information and healing. I have much to be grateful for!
Summary
To summarize, what have I learned? I‘ve learned some important lessons about truck
driving and my respective limitations --I‘m not suited to be a truck driver! [Laughter] On
the serious side, during the past 12 years of healing, I‘ve found a kaleidoscope of issues and
a tremendous diversity of ways and means of addressing recovery needs. I‘ve learned a
great deal about myself. At times I was, indeed, a victim. At other times, I was a sinful
contributor to a very sick system. Both the system and I were interacting, and both were
very real. I had found a codependent, systematic, dysfunctional fit.
While I certainly was morally culpable for my contributions to the unhealthy and unbiblical
systems in which I was involved, I also now believe that within God‘s providence and
design, nothing goes to waste. This perspective, however, was not something I came to
tapes about various cults and received some academic tutorial assistance while attending
this seminary.
As I mentioned, counseling eventually entered the picture. Much of my counseling centered
on my extremely dysfunctional behavior, which I was later to find stemmed ultimately from
―family of origin‖ issues. In the course of my recovery, I sought professional individual
counseling, and I joined an ex-member support group for two years. I was involved with a
group here locally with Sharon Hilderbrandt (a local Christian counselor). I found it
extremely helpful to hear other people tell their stories. After two years as a member, I
moved on to being a co-facilitator and facilitator of support and recovery groups, where I
worked with people out of the Boston Church of Christ and other similar aberrant and cultic
groups.
Looking back, I‘ve realized that the greatest need people initially have coming out of a cultic
group is to be listened to. No matter how long it takes, no matter how often they tell their
story, being carefully, empathetically listened to is essential!
I also went through marital counseling, where I learned how to fight constructively with my
spouse, and in general, how to communicate effectively. Such things simply were not
necessary in my previous group because everything was siphoned through the leader.
Marital counseling really helped me learn the true nature of biblically defined growth and
how to identify unhealthy forms of dependency.
The third sphere of influence in my recovery, in addition to the cognitive work and
counseling, concerned the development of safe and healthy interpersonal relationships.
There were those who not only modeled what genuine Christian spirituality looks like, but in
many ways were mentors --people such as Alan Myatt, Gordon Lewis, Sharon Hilderbrandt,
Robert K. McGregor Wright, and most recently, Doug Groothuis. Each has contributed much
to my recovery, and I greatly appreciate them all. There were also peers and other ex-
members who could understand and who did much to help identify both what happened to
me and my part in it.
The fourth sphere of influence pertained to the process of giving back what has been so
richly given to me. This giving back occurred in my personal involvement in countercult
work that helped to cement the mixed pieces I had previously gathered. I spent four years
with Alan, as an understudy of sorts in Shield of Faith. I tagged along with Alan, listening,
questioning, learning more about cult dynamics and beliefs, and contributing wherever I
could.
During the four years following that internship, 1988 to 1992, I directed the Shield of Faith
organization and worked along with 30 other volunteers. The organization worked
extensively in educational, evangelistic, and counseling activities. We were able to help
many find various levels of information and healing. I have much to be grateful for!
Summary
To summarize, what have I learned? I‘ve learned some important lessons about truck
driving and my respective limitations --I‘m not suited to be a truck driver! [Laughter] On
the serious side, during the past 12 years of healing, I‘ve found a kaleidoscope of issues and
a tremendous diversity of ways and means of addressing recovery needs. I‘ve learned a
great deal about myself. At times I was, indeed, a victim. At other times, I was a sinful
contributor to a very sick system. Both the system and I were interacting, and both were
very real. I had found a codependent, systematic, dysfunctional fit.
While I certainly was morally culpable for my contributions to the unhealthy and unbiblical
systems in which I was involved, I also now believe that within God‘s providence and
design, nothing goes to waste. This perspective, however, was not something I came to
