Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 15, No. 2, 1998, page 11
Nothing Need Go to Waste
Patrick Knapp
Denver, Colorado
I would like to thank AFF and Denver Seminary for asking me to share with you what I‘ve
been through, including some of the more significant factors that have contributed to my
healing from a very cultic group. My hope is that at least some of what I share will be
encouraging and helpful to many of you.
Looking back, I realize the roots of my cultic experience can be found within the family in
which I was raised. I didn‘t enter into and remain in an abusive religious system for 13
years out of some sort of existential vacuum. Patterns of sinful beliefs and behaviors within
my family contributed significantly to my eventual involvement in a Bible-based cult.1
Despite the overuse and frequent abuse of the term dysfunctional, I can now see that much
of my understanding of recovery lies within the context of this term, as long as it is properly
defined. For clarity, I define a dysfunctional family as one that exhibits significant, highly
consistent patterns of sinful beliefs and corresponding behaviors that interfere with healthy,
biblical, interpersonal relationships and with one‘s relationship to the discovery of Truth.
As a child, I was very comfortable in my highly dysfunctional family of origin. My dad was
an alcoholic my mother was a classic enabler my younger brother was the family
scapegoat. During the turbulent 1960s, my brother went off into alcohol and drugs. I was
the family hero --very popular, a high school tennis star, and the first in the family to go
away to college.
But I‘m getting ahead of myself. I had been raised in an environment of very nominal
Christianity. I hadn‘t accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord until immediately after high
school. Unfortunately, I was not properly discipled, and had only a minimal and overly
idealistic perspective of what comprised the Christian life.
My entrance into college at CU (University of Colorado) here in Denver was non-eventful,
consisting mostly of high, and unfulfilled, expectations. In my need to find real personal
growth in my Christian walk, I transferred to a Christian college. I became profoundly
disillusioned with what I saw there --it seemed cheap, easy, and not much different
behaviorally from what I had found at CU. Again, I found myself floating, without
meaningful roots or a clear sense of direction.
Group Experiences
My entry into what quickly would become a Bible-based cult came by way of an invitation
from a college friend. At first, the group seemed very solid the members appeared
passionate about their beliefs and their walk with the Jesus of the Bible. The leader, had
been a Southern Baptist minister, a teacher at Wheaton College, and also had been
associated with India‘s leading Christian evangelist. He had come from India, with a
background in Zoroastrianism. He was a convert to Christianity.
For the first two years I was in the group, things seemed to go very well. The group grew
rapidly, and I found a lot of encouragement and support from the many young people who
comprised the congregation. As I recall, the oldest person in the group (with the exception
of the leader and his wife) was perhaps 30 years old nearly all other members were of
college age.
But then the ―bump in the road‖ came. The leader felt that God had revealed to him that he
had never truly been married to the woman he was married to, because they were not
married ―in the spirit.‖ He claimed that God had revealed that he was, in fact, ―already
Nothing Need Go to Waste
Patrick Knapp
Denver, Colorado
I would like to thank AFF and Denver Seminary for asking me to share with you what I‘ve
been through, including some of the more significant factors that have contributed to my
healing from a very cultic group. My hope is that at least some of what I share will be
encouraging and helpful to many of you.
Looking back, I realize the roots of my cultic experience can be found within the family in
which I was raised. I didn‘t enter into and remain in an abusive religious system for 13
years out of some sort of existential vacuum. Patterns of sinful beliefs and behaviors within
my family contributed significantly to my eventual involvement in a Bible-based cult.1
Despite the overuse and frequent abuse of the term dysfunctional, I can now see that much
of my understanding of recovery lies within the context of this term, as long as it is properly
defined. For clarity, I define a dysfunctional family as one that exhibits significant, highly
consistent patterns of sinful beliefs and corresponding behaviors that interfere with healthy,
biblical, interpersonal relationships and with one‘s relationship to the discovery of Truth.
As a child, I was very comfortable in my highly dysfunctional family of origin. My dad was
an alcoholic my mother was a classic enabler my younger brother was the family
scapegoat. During the turbulent 1960s, my brother went off into alcohol and drugs. I was
the family hero --very popular, a high school tennis star, and the first in the family to go
away to college.
But I‘m getting ahead of myself. I had been raised in an environment of very nominal
Christianity. I hadn‘t accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord until immediately after high
school. Unfortunately, I was not properly discipled, and had only a minimal and overly
idealistic perspective of what comprised the Christian life.
My entrance into college at CU (University of Colorado) here in Denver was non-eventful,
consisting mostly of high, and unfulfilled, expectations. In my need to find real personal
growth in my Christian walk, I transferred to a Christian college. I became profoundly
disillusioned with what I saw there --it seemed cheap, easy, and not much different
behaviorally from what I had found at CU. Again, I found myself floating, without
meaningful roots or a clear sense of direction.
Group Experiences
My entry into what quickly would become a Bible-based cult came by way of an invitation
from a college friend. At first, the group seemed very solid the members appeared
passionate about their beliefs and their walk with the Jesus of the Bible. The leader, had
been a Southern Baptist minister, a teacher at Wheaton College, and also had been
associated with India‘s leading Christian evangelist. He had come from India, with a
background in Zoroastrianism. He was a convert to Christianity.
For the first two years I was in the group, things seemed to go very well. The group grew
rapidly, and I found a lot of encouragement and support from the many young people who
comprised the congregation. As I recall, the oldest person in the group (with the exception
of the leader and his wife) was perhaps 30 years old nearly all other members were of
college age.
But then the ―bump in the road‖ came. The leader felt that God had revealed to him that he
had never truly been married to the woman he was married to, because they were not
married ―in the spirit.‖ He claimed that God had revealed that he was, in fact, ―already
