70 International Journal of Cultic Studies Vol. 4, 2013
The House of Yahweh: My Side of the Story
By Kay Hawkins
Reviewed by RaeAnne Wiseman
Bloomington, Indiana: AuthorHouse. 2012.
ISBN-13: 978-1477217061 ISBN-10:
1477217061 (paperback), $14.95
(Amazon.com). 204 pages.
Have you ever wondered what being married to
a cult leader might be like? In The House of
Yahweh: My Side of the Story, Kay Hawkins
tells the reader about her tumultuous relationship
with Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins,
charismatic polygamist and leader of The House
of Yahweh in Abilene, Texas. This book
chronologically documents the formation of this
Messianic sect and relates the specific
challenges one woman faced as matriarch of the
community.
From a research perspective, the book includes
many useful primary sources, including
documents from various legal issues that involve
the House of Yahweh. As secretary of the
House of Yahweh, Kay provides the reader with
primary source documents that are useful to a
historian of cultic studies. Although the citation
of these documents is inconsistent and
disorganized, the legal and social battles
Hawkins records provide good information
about the efforts involved in establishing a
religious organization.
The most common theme in the book was the
author’s social consciousness. Kay goes into
great detail about the embarrassment her
husband and her role in the House of Yahweh
provoked. One particularly controversial
example of Kay’s anxiety over the public’s
perception of them was when she described a
family of disabled individuals who joined the
House of Yahweh: “It would have been best if
these people had resided at the back of the
property. But no, they set right on the highway
where everyone who drove by could see them”
(p. 106). Hawkins’ recommendation to hide this
family highlights the adverse effects on her of
constant exposure to the public eye.
The House of Yahweh: My Side of the Story
contributes to our understanding of
psychological patterns of cult leaders and the
people who surround them. The audience for
this book might be family members of group
directors who find themselves unprepared for
the “spotlight effect” (“the tendency to think that
more people notice something about you than
they do”1). However the author’s elaborate
judgment of her husband and her lack of self-
criticism may leave the reader questioning the
fairness of this narrative. At the same time,
perhaps that isn’t the point.
Kay Hawkins’ explicit purpose for writing this
book is to “clarify” (p. x) the circumstances
under which she was involved with the House of
Yahweh. The subtitle of the book, My Side of
the Story, is both descriptive of the contents
within and an acknowledgment that the
Hawkinses make no pretenses to objectivity.
Toward the end of the book, the author mentions
a slanderous newspaper article about her role in
the House of Yahweh that initiated her writing
of the book. She states, “[T]his opened the door
for me to go public with the information which I
had, which also helped me to psychologically
heal” (p. 177). The publication of the narrative
gave Hawkins the opportunity to clarify rumors
and redeem her sense of dignity. Her story is a
testament to the stress of the spotlight that
families of influential leaders endure. Writing
this book also served as a narrative therapy that
clearly helped at the author heal from domestic
abuse, spiritual exploitation, and internalized
shame.
1 Nathan Heflick, “The Big Questions,” Psychology Today
(http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-
questions/201111/the-spotlight-effect).
The House of Yahweh: My Side of the Story
By Kay Hawkins
Reviewed by RaeAnne Wiseman
Bloomington, Indiana: AuthorHouse. 2012.
ISBN-13: 978-1477217061 ISBN-10:
1477217061 (paperback), $14.95
(Amazon.com). 204 pages.
Have you ever wondered what being married to
a cult leader might be like? In The House of
Yahweh: My Side of the Story, Kay Hawkins
tells the reader about her tumultuous relationship
with Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins,
charismatic polygamist and leader of The House
of Yahweh in Abilene, Texas. This book
chronologically documents the formation of this
Messianic sect and relates the specific
challenges one woman faced as matriarch of the
community.
From a research perspective, the book includes
many useful primary sources, including
documents from various legal issues that involve
the House of Yahweh. As secretary of the
House of Yahweh, Kay provides the reader with
primary source documents that are useful to a
historian of cultic studies. Although the citation
of these documents is inconsistent and
disorganized, the legal and social battles
Hawkins records provide good information
about the efforts involved in establishing a
religious organization.
The most common theme in the book was the
author’s social consciousness. Kay goes into
great detail about the embarrassment her
husband and her role in the House of Yahweh
provoked. One particularly controversial
example of Kay’s anxiety over the public’s
perception of them was when she described a
family of disabled individuals who joined the
House of Yahweh: “It would have been best if
these people had resided at the back of the
property. But no, they set right on the highway
where everyone who drove by could see them”
(p. 106). Hawkins’ recommendation to hide this
family highlights the adverse effects on her of
constant exposure to the public eye.
The House of Yahweh: My Side of the Story
contributes to our understanding of
psychological patterns of cult leaders and the
people who surround them. The audience for
this book might be family members of group
directors who find themselves unprepared for
the “spotlight effect” (“the tendency to think that
more people notice something about you than
they do”1). However the author’s elaborate
judgment of her husband and her lack of self-
criticism may leave the reader questioning the
fairness of this narrative. At the same time,
perhaps that isn’t the point.
Kay Hawkins’ explicit purpose for writing this
book is to “clarify” (p. x) the circumstances
under which she was involved with the House of
Yahweh. The subtitle of the book, My Side of
the Story, is both descriptive of the contents
within and an acknowledgment that the
Hawkinses make no pretenses to objectivity.
Toward the end of the book, the author mentions
a slanderous newspaper article about her role in
the House of Yahweh that initiated her writing
of the book. She states, “[T]his opened the door
for me to go public with the information which I
had, which also helped me to psychologically
heal” (p. 177). The publication of the narrative
gave Hawkins the opportunity to clarify rumors
and redeem her sense of dignity. Her story is a
testament to the stress of the spotlight that
families of influential leaders endure. Writing
this book also served as a narrative therapy that
clearly helped at the author heal from domestic
abuse, spiritual exploitation, and internalized
shame.
1 Nathan Heflick, “The Big Questions,” Psychology Today
(http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-
questions/201111/the-spotlight-effect).
