International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 10, 2019 3
Decision-Making Dilemmas
For adults who entered a cultic situation later in
life (first-generation survivors), the demands,
control, and absolute power of the group over
the individual can have a regressive effect,
infantilizing those who find themselves
dependent on the leader or group for making
decisions they previously might have been able
to make on their own (Ward, 2011). Healing
requires that they regain a sense of autonomy
around their decision-making and life choices
(Hassan, 1990 Singer, 2003).
Those who were raised in a group or brought in
at a young age (second-generation survivors)
face even more challenges around
developmental recovery (Goldberg, 2006
Kendall, 2016 Lalich &McLaren, 2018
Matthews &Salazar, 2014 Singer, 2003). With
no outside influence during their critical stages
of development, their personalities were formed
within the cult (Matthews &Salazar, 2014
Singer, 2003). As such, they have no former
identity on which to draw (Goldberg, 2006
Kendall, 2016 Lalich &McLaren, 2018 Lifton,
1963 Matthews &Salazar, 2014 Singer, 2003).
As a result, many second-generation survivors
may find choices overwhelming because they
have had no previous opportunities to make
decisions on their own (Matthews &Salazar,
2014). In interviews with second-generation
survivors, Matthews and Salazar (2014) found
that the extreme black-and-white thinking of the
cult makes decision-making a terrifying
experience whereby survivors search for the
“one right answer” (p. 194). The concept that
there may be multiple good choices or nuance to
choice seems foreign.
Although some clients may be eager to assume
responsibility for their choices and decisions,
others may look to the therapist as a surrogate
authority (Matthews &Salazar, 2014).
Counselors should resist making decisions for
clients and encourage them to develop autonomy
and competence around decision-making at the
same time, they need to be mindful of the
developmental limitations clients may have. In
such cases, clients may need scaffolding and
guidance in making their own decisions, with
the counselor walking clients through the
process of thinking through a choice.
A Black-and-White World
Both first- and second-generation survivors must
fight conditioning for absolute obedience
(Matthews &Salazar, 2014 Singer, 2003 Ward,
2011) however, second-generation survivors
also have to contend with the developmental
effects of such a rigid environment. Just as the
cult world is split into us versus them, good
versus evil, and right versus wrong, a child
growing up in a cultic environment may
experience a similar internal splitting that
associates the infantilized, obedient parts of the
child with the “good” group, and the
individuating parts that begin to develop as the
child ages with the “bad” outside world
(Goldberg, 2006). Many children have been
taught that any type of questioning or
individuality is rebellion or sin (Kendall, 2016
Lalich &McLaren, 2018 Matthews &Salazar,
2014 Singer, 2003).
The splitting of the “good” and “bad” parts of
self tends to lead to the development of a secret
self (Lalich &McLaren, 2018 Lifton, 1963
Matthews &Salazar, 2014 Rosen, 2014).
Because the secret self often holds the parts of
the survivor that craved freedom and autonomy,
the secret self is a valuable tool in the recovery
process (Matthews &Salazar, 2014 Rosen,
2014). It is important for counselors to strive for
the client to join with the secret self,
destigmatizing the desire for individual
expression and validating the authenticity of the
secret self. However, counselors also need to be
aware of the risk of continued splitting
(Goldberg, 2006 Lalich &McLaren, 2018). A
client who is unable to integrate the seemingly
opposing aspects of character may switch to
splitting off and denying the cultic experience in
an attempt to distance from the emotional pain
and turmoil. Rosen (2014) underscores the role
that friendships can play in helping the client
break out of rigid, black-and-white thinking,
stating that “learning to hear many opinions and
to digest or reject those opinions can be
enormously centering” (p. 24).
While the freedom to decide what to accept and
believe may be liberating in some respects, it

4 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 10, 2019
can also be distressing. Cults, while rigid, offer
the comfort of an absolute worldview. For those
who have not yet developed the ability to
tolerate ambiguity, breaking out of black-and-
white thinking can be as much an existential
issue as a developmental issue. Counselors must
be prepared to help clients learn to sit with their
discomfort and resist the urge to constrict critical
thinking even as they develop meaningful
worldviews (Beck, 2006 Perach &Wisman,
2016).
Relational Issues
A good portion of a cult’s damage lies in the
arena of connection and trust (Herman, 1997
Rosen, 2014). Within a cultic environment, the
boundaries between the self and the group are
violated in multiple ways, both disrupting the
connection a person has to the self and
muddying the distinction between the self and
others (Herman, 1997 Lifton, 1963). Survivors
may emerge from a group with little ability to
maintain boundaries in a healthy way. Survivors
of relational trauma in which boundary
violations were the norm may not recognize
typical red flags in other relationships as a
result, some individuals run the risk of
repeatedly entering into toxic relationships
(Herman, 1997). For others, trust seems
daunting, if not impossible (Rosen, 2014).
Having been violated by those closest to them,
survivors may see all people as a threat. In
addition, many survivors have been taught to
fear the outside world, especially professionals
such as law enforcement, doctors, and
counselors (Bardin, 2005 Kendall, 2016 Lalich
&McLaren, 2018 Singer, 2003).
Counseling will often need to involve an
exploration of boundaries as survivors struggle
to figure out a balance between having
connection and protecting the integrity of the
self (Kendall, 2016 Matthews &Salazar, 2014
Rosen, 2014). Counselors will first need to build
trust with survivors. Counselors can model
boundaries by setting and adhering to their own
boundaries while simultaneously respecting
those of their clients. Counselors must also be
conscious of the power structure created or
implied within the therapy room, acknowledging
its existence and taking steps to ensure that the
clients feel safe and capable of asserting their
needs and boundaries with their counselors
(Matthews &Salazar, 2014). The counseling
experience offers an opportunity for healing
connection whereby clients experience intimacy
with boundaries (Herman, 1997). In therapy,
survivors can also explore and practice social
skills that they can apply in other relationships
with family or friends (Kendall, 2016 Matthews
&Salazar, 2014).
As therapy progresses, counselors can assist
survivors in building an outer support network
(Rosen, 2014). Clients may need to learn basic
social expectations and norms of appropriate
behavior, especially if they have been physically
isolated from mainstream society (Kendall,
2016 Singer, 2003). Clients may also struggle
with finding an appropriate balance in
boundaries with others (Herman, 1997). For
many who survived controlling and abusive
relationships, boundaries often need to be rigid
before they can become flexible as survivors
learn to trust their own ability to hold a
boundary and respond to violations (Czerny,
Lassiter, &Lim, 2018). Matthews and Salazar
(2014) point out that cultic groups often limit all
major social relationships to those within the
group therefore, survivors may benefit from
developing a diverse body of connections with
people from multiple social groups and settings.
Group-therapy situations have the potential to be
healing for survivors by providing connections
with others who have gone through similar
circumstances (Durocher, 1999 Matthews &
Salazar, 2014) however, just as clients may
initially distrust an individual therapist, they
may also find it hard to trust a group-therapy
situation. Because group therapy can devolve
into toxic practices, groups should be facilitated
by someone who is knowledgeable about
totalistic influence and who can monitor and
intervene should the group begin demonstrating
concerning signs (Lalich &McLaren, 2018).
The presence of a cofacilitator can also be an
important check on the power of the group
leader.
In addition to building new connections, many
survivors will need to take some time to grieve
the connections they have lost in leaving a cultic