International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 10, 2019 49
torturing or killing her should she talk about her
past. Sharing her memories and allowing alters
to speak of the horrors they witnessed violated
the cult’s programming. Sarah stated that the
consequences for violating programming, for
disclosing abuse, were death. Each session
concluded with Sarah expressing extreme fear
that her programmers (also referenced as
“handlers”) or other cult members would find
her. We used cognitive behavioral therapy
exercises to explore her thoughts and feelings
associated with these beliefs, and to challenge
the rationale that supported them (Beck, 1995).
Each counseling session thus became a small
victory, as Sarah challenged her belief that
speaking about the trauma would result in her
being hunted down, tortured, and killed. Sarah
described deriving new meaning from her
experiences as she began writing a book about
those experiences in the cult and how they had
impacted her present life. Her hope was that
sharing her experience would help others to seek
professional help, and inspire them to connect
with others, rather than to remain isolated out of
fear.
Complicating Factors
While she was in treatment, Sarah was
incredibly skeptical of formalized interventions
and assessments. She declined to complete the
Dissociative Experiences Scale (Carlson &
Putnam, 1993) and the Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder Checklist (Weathers et al., 2013). She
also refused a referral for a psychiatric
evaluation, stating that she was unwilling to take
medication because when “drugged as a kid”
during cult-related abuse, she “seemed too
sensitive to medication.” Sarah described feeling
fearful and distrusting of doctors, and thus
would not seek outside evaluations or
intervention.
Sarah’s panic attacks seemed to worsen during
specific anniversary dates related to her
traumatic experiences in childhood. The worst of
these anniversary dates occurred during the 2
weeks prior to Halloween. During that time of
the year, Sarah experienced several worse-than-
usual panic attacks. She dealt with the
worsening symptoms by engaging in additional
counseling sessions with me and receiving crisis
counseling through the university’s student
health center. Although Sarah continued to
refuse a psychiatric evaluation, she met with a
doctor during the month of October for a
physical and to rule out any medical
complications.
Access and Barriers to Care
The resource center where I counseled Sarah
was located on campus and provided free
counseling services to students and community
members. Sarah’s status as a student placed in
her in direct contact with a multitude of resource
centers on campus, including our center. Only
two other counseling agencies in the local area
provided pro bono services, with one agency
located on campus and the other located several
miles away from the university.
Sarah and her spouse initially used their bicycles
to travel from campus housing to the university
and around town. Two weeks after we began our
sessions, Sarah’s spouse had his bike stolen
from the bike rack in front of university housing.
Three weeks later, Sarah’s bike was stolen from
a bike rack on campus. After that, she, her
husband, and their children either walked or
used the bus to travel. Sarah’s limited
transportation made it increasingly difficult for
both her and her husband to apply for
employment and obtain food from local food
banks.
The resource center that facilitated Sarah’s
counseling partnered with other organizations on
campus to bring resources such as food, hygiene
products, and clothing to the center. Sarah was
able to take advantage of these resources in
addition to the counseling. The center also
helped her to obtain a free student bus pass to
improve her access to transportation. Despite the
mobilization of resources to support Sarah, her
access to more intensive treatment continued to
be incredibly limited because of her financial
and geographic barriers.
Trauma Work: A Catalyst for Personal
and Professional Transformation
Over the course of our 10 months working
together, Sarah and I had met for more than
thirty weekly counseling sessions. During the
first 2 months of treatment, the duration of
torturing or killing her should she talk about her
past. Sharing her memories and allowing alters
to speak of the horrors they witnessed violated
the cult’s programming. Sarah stated that the
consequences for violating programming, for
disclosing abuse, were death. Each session
concluded with Sarah expressing extreme fear
that her programmers (also referenced as
“handlers”) or other cult members would find
her. We used cognitive behavioral therapy
exercises to explore her thoughts and feelings
associated with these beliefs, and to challenge
the rationale that supported them (Beck, 1995).
Each counseling session thus became a small
victory, as Sarah challenged her belief that
speaking about the trauma would result in her
being hunted down, tortured, and killed. Sarah
described deriving new meaning from her
experiences as she began writing a book about
those experiences in the cult and how they had
impacted her present life. Her hope was that
sharing her experience would help others to seek
professional help, and inspire them to connect
with others, rather than to remain isolated out of
fear.
Complicating Factors
While she was in treatment, Sarah was
incredibly skeptical of formalized interventions
and assessments. She declined to complete the
Dissociative Experiences Scale (Carlson &
Putnam, 1993) and the Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder Checklist (Weathers et al., 2013). She
also refused a referral for a psychiatric
evaluation, stating that she was unwilling to take
medication because when “drugged as a kid”
during cult-related abuse, she “seemed too
sensitive to medication.” Sarah described feeling
fearful and distrusting of doctors, and thus
would not seek outside evaluations or
intervention.
Sarah’s panic attacks seemed to worsen during
specific anniversary dates related to her
traumatic experiences in childhood. The worst of
these anniversary dates occurred during the 2
weeks prior to Halloween. During that time of
the year, Sarah experienced several worse-than-
usual panic attacks. She dealt with the
worsening symptoms by engaging in additional
counseling sessions with me and receiving crisis
counseling through the university’s student
health center. Although Sarah continued to
refuse a psychiatric evaluation, she met with a
doctor during the month of October for a
physical and to rule out any medical
complications.
Access and Barriers to Care
The resource center where I counseled Sarah
was located on campus and provided free
counseling services to students and community
members. Sarah’s status as a student placed in
her in direct contact with a multitude of resource
centers on campus, including our center. Only
two other counseling agencies in the local area
provided pro bono services, with one agency
located on campus and the other located several
miles away from the university.
Sarah and her spouse initially used their bicycles
to travel from campus housing to the university
and around town. Two weeks after we began our
sessions, Sarah’s spouse had his bike stolen
from the bike rack in front of university housing.
Three weeks later, Sarah’s bike was stolen from
a bike rack on campus. After that, she, her
husband, and their children either walked or
used the bus to travel. Sarah’s limited
transportation made it increasingly difficult for
both her and her husband to apply for
employment and obtain food from local food
banks.
The resource center that facilitated Sarah’s
counseling partnered with other organizations on
campus to bring resources such as food, hygiene
products, and clothing to the center. Sarah was
able to take advantage of these resources in
addition to the counseling. The center also
helped her to obtain a free student bus pass to
improve her access to transportation. Despite the
mobilization of resources to support Sarah, her
access to more intensive treatment continued to
be incredibly limited because of her financial
and geographic barriers.
Trauma Work: A Catalyst for Personal
and Professional Transformation
Over the course of our 10 months working
together, Sarah and I had met for more than
thirty weekly counseling sessions. During the
first 2 months of treatment, the duration of
