Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 6, No. 1, 1989, Page 60
Singer (1986) described refined techniques used by today‟s cults to destroy the cultist‟s
previous sense of self in a more extreme and dangerous way.
Recognition
Once the denied stage is passed, the family recognizes the profound and disturbing changes
in the cult member‟s basic personality. Old interests and ambitions have been abandoned
conversations have become stilted or have been replaced by the cult member‟s relentless
proselytizing. The continuity of the family is disrupted and parents and siblings, even in
situations where there is contact with the cultist, feel a profound sense of loss. That which
was loved and unique about the family member has been lost, identification with the group
leader‟s personality having taken over so much of the recruit‟s character. The cultist‟s new
identification is a sad and frightening experience for family members who feel they can no
longer connect with the young adult. It is as if there were a stranger in their midst.
As the authors have previously noted (Goldberg &Goldberg, 1988), one‟s character is built,
in part, on identifications that are formed early in life with parents and other significant
figures and by developing those traits that are valued by these significant figures.
When identification with a deviant group supersedes previous identifications --those that
formed the personality --it is as if one‟s history has been erased. The family‟s natural
response to this change is that of sadness and fear.
The A. Family did not become alarmed by their daughter‟s cult involvement
until she announced that she would miss the annual Christmas reunion. This
large and geographically extended family‟s tradition was to reunite once a
year at their cabin in the mountains. Their daughter told them that Christmas
is a pagan holiday and that she had no intention of celebrating it. When the
family pointed out that they were anxious to see her, she told them that she
would pray for them.
Exploration
Once the family recognizes that a potentially destructive situation exists, it moves to the
next stage of response --the stage of exploration. The family begins to discuss its situation
with friends, relatives, and professionals. Sometimes families feel too much guilt or shame
to move on to this stage, which entails bringing the family‟s problems into the open. This
reticence is often either caused by the parents‟ mistaken belief that they are responsible for
the situation or by the parents‟ characterological manner of keeping family secrets.
Unfortunately, when some families contact professionals who have no knowledge about the
techniques used by cults, they are often automatically informed that they are being
overprotective and that their young adult is merely experiencing a normal stage of rebellion
(Levine, 1984). This judgmental attitude is counterproductive for the family and the cultist,
since it confirms the family‟s sense of guilt and immobilizes them at the point where they
should be energized. It is also, in our experience and that of others, most likely not the
case (Ross &Langone, 1988). Usually, quite the reverse has taken place. The young adult
is not becoming independent, but has been induced by the cult to become passive,
dependent, and childlike --a regressive and destructive situation.
Discussions with individuals who are knowledgeable about cults often help the family
recognize that the situation is more dangerous than first acknowledged. At times, a
speaker‟s or author‟s characterization of the group as a destructive cult can shock the family
into learning more about the group and into speaking to former members of that group.
At this point, public service organizations such as the American Family Foundation and the
Cult Awareness Network are particularly helpful because they can provide background
literature and informative materials. They can also help the inquiring family make
Singer (1986) described refined techniques used by today‟s cults to destroy the cultist‟s
previous sense of self in a more extreme and dangerous way.
Recognition
Once the denied stage is passed, the family recognizes the profound and disturbing changes
in the cult member‟s basic personality. Old interests and ambitions have been abandoned
conversations have become stilted or have been replaced by the cult member‟s relentless
proselytizing. The continuity of the family is disrupted and parents and siblings, even in
situations where there is contact with the cultist, feel a profound sense of loss. That which
was loved and unique about the family member has been lost, identification with the group
leader‟s personality having taken over so much of the recruit‟s character. The cultist‟s new
identification is a sad and frightening experience for family members who feel they can no
longer connect with the young adult. It is as if there were a stranger in their midst.
As the authors have previously noted (Goldberg &Goldberg, 1988), one‟s character is built,
in part, on identifications that are formed early in life with parents and other significant
figures and by developing those traits that are valued by these significant figures.
When identification with a deviant group supersedes previous identifications --those that
formed the personality --it is as if one‟s history has been erased. The family‟s natural
response to this change is that of sadness and fear.
The A. Family did not become alarmed by their daughter‟s cult involvement
until she announced that she would miss the annual Christmas reunion. This
large and geographically extended family‟s tradition was to reunite once a
year at their cabin in the mountains. Their daughter told them that Christmas
is a pagan holiday and that she had no intention of celebrating it. When the
family pointed out that they were anxious to see her, she told them that she
would pray for them.
Exploration
Once the family recognizes that a potentially destructive situation exists, it moves to the
next stage of response --the stage of exploration. The family begins to discuss its situation
with friends, relatives, and professionals. Sometimes families feel too much guilt or shame
to move on to this stage, which entails bringing the family‟s problems into the open. This
reticence is often either caused by the parents‟ mistaken belief that they are responsible for
the situation or by the parents‟ characterological manner of keeping family secrets.
Unfortunately, when some families contact professionals who have no knowledge about the
techniques used by cults, they are often automatically informed that they are being
overprotective and that their young adult is merely experiencing a normal stage of rebellion
(Levine, 1984). This judgmental attitude is counterproductive for the family and the cultist,
since it confirms the family‟s sense of guilt and immobilizes them at the point where they
should be energized. It is also, in our experience and that of others, most likely not the
case (Ross &Langone, 1988). Usually, quite the reverse has taken place. The young adult
is not becoming independent, but has been induced by the cult to become passive,
dependent, and childlike --a regressive and destructive situation.
Discussions with individuals who are knowledgeable about cults often help the family
recognize that the situation is more dangerous than first acknowledged. At times, a
speaker‟s or author‟s characterization of the group as a destructive cult can shock the family
into learning more about the group and into speaking to former members of that group.
At this point, public service organizations such as the American Family Foundation and the
Cult Awareness Network are particularly helpful because they can provide background
literature and informative materials. They can also help the inquiring family make
