Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 5, No. 1, 2006, Page 9
generation cultists who developed strong relationships with their peer group because of the
unavailability of their parents (Kent, 2004).]
Tim told me that he lobbied the higher-ups to permit him to work in the kitchen because
that would relieve him from having to engage in some of the cult rituals and he could eat
the best food. Most importantly, this work would allow him to have contact with women—
the hired kitchen staff. In therapy, Tim recalled that this association was reminiscent of his
early experiences with his mother‘s prayer group. In both situations, the women would treat
him kindly and shower him with treats. He developed a way of endearing himself to these
women in an attempt to gain some positive attention. It seems that from a young age,
Tim‘s characteristic manner of dealing with life was to reach out for a caring maternal
presence, and he was able to find substitute mothers.
Tim‘s pleasure in food and spending time with the women was his guilty secret, which was
never disclosed while he was a cult member. In therapy, Tim also recalled a memory of
watching a beautiful woman as she walked on the street near the monastery. Thinking of
her from time to time gave him a secret pleasure.
Return to the United States
After Tim had spent six years in the monastery, the cult leader ordered him to return to
America to proselytize, ostensibly because the cult leader felt that Tim was avoiding the
more intense levels of personal sacrifice. Leaving the monastery and going to the United
States was a step down for him. He felt ashamed about his failure to live up to the
impossible ideals of the cult and guilty that he had avoided some of these rituals of personal
sacrifice.
To support himself in the United States, Tim began working as a security guard. At his job,
he met the woman almost twenty years his senior who later became his wife. His talks with
her, his growing interest in her, and her reactions to his harsh experiences allowed him to
consider that he was a member of a destructive group. Eventually, he was able to leave the
group, but he continued to feel anxious and guilty about having left. After several years
outside the group, he discovered our support group and came to me for therapy.
Therapist‟s Perspective
When I initially met with Tim, I found him to be an intelligent, but emotionally constricted,
individual. He reported the facts of his background of abuse, neglect, and restriction in a
detached way, as if he were describing someone else‘s experience. He found his work to be
unsatisfying and I felt that, although he had little formal schooling, he was working well
below his abilities. He was rather isolated. His social life consisted of activities with his wife
and, occasionally, with her family members. He had no contact with his own family and had
difficulty making friends.
In early sessions, I found Tim to be likeable but naïve, despite all that he had experienced.
He displayed little understanding about the world outside the cult. Although he was more
than 30 years old, he presented himself as an endearing young teenager. In these early
sessions, I believe that Tim initially related to me transferentially, as he had related to the
benign friends of his mother and the kitchen staff at the monastery. He used our early
sessions to talk about his uncertainty about how to deal with many situations of daily life. In
early sessions, Tim primarily focused on all that he wanted to cognitively learn rather than
on all that he wanted to emotionally experience.
As mentioned previously, I have found in my clinical work that individuals who have left
cults are not trained in the general social skills that other children learn in school and
through their families and friends. Learning to cope with a diverse community was confusing
to Tim. He felt ill equipped to deal with the outside world, and he often looked to me to
generation cultists who developed strong relationships with their peer group because of the
unavailability of their parents (Kent, 2004).]
Tim told me that he lobbied the higher-ups to permit him to work in the kitchen because
that would relieve him from having to engage in some of the cult rituals and he could eat
the best food. Most importantly, this work would allow him to have contact with women—
the hired kitchen staff. In therapy, Tim recalled that this association was reminiscent of his
early experiences with his mother‘s prayer group. In both situations, the women would treat
him kindly and shower him with treats. He developed a way of endearing himself to these
women in an attempt to gain some positive attention. It seems that from a young age,
Tim‘s characteristic manner of dealing with life was to reach out for a caring maternal
presence, and he was able to find substitute mothers.
Tim‘s pleasure in food and spending time with the women was his guilty secret, which was
never disclosed while he was a cult member. In therapy, Tim also recalled a memory of
watching a beautiful woman as she walked on the street near the monastery. Thinking of
her from time to time gave him a secret pleasure.
Return to the United States
After Tim had spent six years in the monastery, the cult leader ordered him to return to
America to proselytize, ostensibly because the cult leader felt that Tim was avoiding the
more intense levels of personal sacrifice. Leaving the monastery and going to the United
States was a step down for him. He felt ashamed about his failure to live up to the
impossible ideals of the cult and guilty that he had avoided some of these rituals of personal
sacrifice.
To support himself in the United States, Tim began working as a security guard. At his job,
he met the woman almost twenty years his senior who later became his wife. His talks with
her, his growing interest in her, and her reactions to his harsh experiences allowed him to
consider that he was a member of a destructive group. Eventually, he was able to leave the
group, but he continued to feel anxious and guilty about having left. After several years
outside the group, he discovered our support group and came to me for therapy.
Therapist‟s Perspective
When I initially met with Tim, I found him to be an intelligent, but emotionally constricted,
individual. He reported the facts of his background of abuse, neglect, and restriction in a
detached way, as if he were describing someone else‘s experience. He found his work to be
unsatisfying and I felt that, although he had little formal schooling, he was working well
below his abilities. He was rather isolated. His social life consisted of activities with his wife
and, occasionally, with her family members. He had no contact with his own family and had
difficulty making friends.
In early sessions, I found Tim to be likeable but naïve, despite all that he had experienced.
He displayed little understanding about the world outside the cult. Although he was more
than 30 years old, he presented himself as an endearing young teenager. In these early
sessions, I believe that Tim initially related to me transferentially, as he had related to the
benign friends of his mother and the kitchen staff at the monastery. He used our early
sessions to talk about his uncertainty about how to deal with many situations of daily life. In
early sessions, Tim primarily focused on all that he wanted to cognitively learn rather than
on all that he wanted to emotionally experience.
As mentioned previously, I have found in my clinical work that individuals who have left
cults are not trained in the general social skills that other children learn in school and
through their families and friends. Learning to cope with a diverse community was confusing
to Tim. He felt ill equipped to deal with the outside world, and he often looked to me to
