Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 5, No. 1, 2006, Page 12
see how his tendency to have negative feelings about his life served his need to punish
himself. Tim began letting go of the sadomasochistic conflicts that had permeated his entire
life.
I have found that former members often have a need to play out their guilt by
unconsciously undermining their lives after the cult. Although Tim chose to leave his group,
he continued to experience the threat of eternal damnation. Examination of post-cult guilt
can help former cultists discover its origin and can lead to their ability to abandon it.
However, as with many former cult members who have felt betrayed by religion, Tim has
chosen a secular life.
In looking at childhood pictures of Tim, I see a sweet and gentle child, and his memories
corroborate this image. He was probably born with a gentle temperament. Additionally, Tim
appears to have trouble utilizing aggression, not only because this behavior was so
discouraged in his environment, but also because he fears being explosive, as his father
was. In attempting to keep his aggressive feelings in check, he has learned to defend
against them in a variety of ways. Anger might be displaced. For example, he might have
intense reactions to other drivers while he is driving his car. He also suffers from a variety
of somatic reactions to stress. These reactions might indicate that he learned to turn anger
against the self. We have explored these somatic reactions as a way of attempting to
understand their genesis and to offer Tim some relief.
Nevertheless, Tim‘s learned passivity created problems for his post-cult relationships. Tim
was more fortunate than some former members who get involved in relationships with
rather domineering and/or controlling partners (Goldberg, 2003).
In these case, there might at first be an attraction to those who can structure their lives in
the manner in which their cult leader did. There is a tendency to continue the
sadomasochistic behavior that was intensified in the cult. This can be familiar and libidinally
gratifying. However, as the former members spend more time in the outside world and
become less dependent and passive, they have less need to rely so totally on their partners.
At this point, they might begin to want more freedom to decide things for themselves. They
might wish to feel more pleasure in life despite the fact that this desire for pleasure was
defined as ―selfishness‖ in the cult. This newfound freedom can have a negative impact on
their post-cult relationships. Unless their partners have the flexibility to change, the
relationships can become problematic. Sometimes noncult partners might see all the
problems they are experiencing with their partners as stemming from the cult. If these
partners cannot consider that some of the problems might stem from other sources, the
relationship will continue to have difficulties.
Case Study: Sue
I began to see Sue when she was 28 years old. Sue was a pretty young woman who initially
appeared somewhat intense and proper. She described herself as depressed. However, over
time I became aware of her intelligence and delightful sense of humor, which at times
allowed her to laugh at her intensity.
Sue had moved to New York City after college in an attempt to broaden her life. She was
working for a health organization, but she was feeling little satisfaction from her job. She
had friends but felt disconnected from them. She was unable to become involved in a long-
term romantic relationship. She was taking no pleasure in her life and believed that this was
connected to her involvement in a cult.
Sue had been 14 years old, entering her first year of high school, when a manipulative,
charismatic leader took over her parents‘ mainline church.4 Subsequent to this takeover, the
church became a more controlling and conservative place. It was now required that she go
to Bible study classes after school rather than participate in extracurricular activities (i.e.,
see how his tendency to have negative feelings about his life served his need to punish
himself. Tim began letting go of the sadomasochistic conflicts that had permeated his entire
life.
I have found that former members often have a need to play out their guilt by
unconsciously undermining their lives after the cult. Although Tim chose to leave his group,
he continued to experience the threat of eternal damnation. Examination of post-cult guilt
can help former cultists discover its origin and can lead to their ability to abandon it.
However, as with many former cult members who have felt betrayed by religion, Tim has
chosen a secular life.
In looking at childhood pictures of Tim, I see a sweet and gentle child, and his memories
corroborate this image. He was probably born with a gentle temperament. Additionally, Tim
appears to have trouble utilizing aggression, not only because this behavior was so
discouraged in his environment, but also because he fears being explosive, as his father
was. In attempting to keep his aggressive feelings in check, he has learned to defend
against them in a variety of ways. Anger might be displaced. For example, he might have
intense reactions to other drivers while he is driving his car. He also suffers from a variety
of somatic reactions to stress. These reactions might indicate that he learned to turn anger
against the self. We have explored these somatic reactions as a way of attempting to
understand their genesis and to offer Tim some relief.
Nevertheless, Tim‘s learned passivity created problems for his post-cult relationships. Tim
was more fortunate than some former members who get involved in relationships with
rather domineering and/or controlling partners (Goldberg, 2003).
In these case, there might at first be an attraction to those who can structure their lives in
the manner in which their cult leader did. There is a tendency to continue the
sadomasochistic behavior that was intensified in the cult. This can be familiar and libidinally
gratifying. However, as the former members spend more time in the outside world and
become less dependent and passive, they have less need to rely so totally on their partners.
At this point, they might begin to want more freedom to decide things for themselves. They
might wish to feel more pleasure in life despite the fact that this desire for pleasure was
defined as ―selfishness‖ in the cult. This newfound freedom can have a negative impact on
their post-cult relationships. Unless their partners have the flexibility to change, the
relationships can become problematic. Sometimes noncult partners might see all the
problems they are experiencing with their partners as stemming from the cult. If these
partners cannot consider that some of the problems might stem from other sources, the
relationship will continue to have difficulties.
Case Study: Sue
I began to see Sue when she was 28 years old. Sue was a pretty young woman who initially
appeared somewhat intense and proper. She described herself as depressed. However, over
time I became aware of her intelligence and delightful sense of humor, which at times
allowed her to laugh at her intensity.
Sue had moved to New York City after college in an attempt to broaden her life. She was
working for a health organization, but she was feeling little satisfaction from her job. She
had friends but felt disconnected from them. She was unable to become involved in a long-
term romantic relationship. She was taking no pleasure in her life and believed that this was
connected to her involvement in a cult.
Sue had been 14 years old, entering her first year of high school, when a manipulative,
charismatic leader took over her parents‘ mainline church.4 Subsequent to this takeover, the
church became a more controlling and conservative place. It was now required that she go
to Bible study classes after school rather than participate in extracurricular activities (i.e.,
