Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 4, No. 2, 2005, Page 35
In the first few days after moving in, Gabriel learns the ISKCON bathroom routines, how to
wear the Indian clothes, and how to put on the forehead markings. He begins to attend the
morning program, including all the chanting, and so on, and painfully accepts the
restrictions on mixing with the opposite sex. He also begins to accept the ISKCON
indoctrination of guilt and fear. At first he has trouble staying awake to chant, but his new
bhakta leader (mentor) gets him to believe that, ―One‘s ability to remain awake while
chanting is equated with how much love and devotion the worshiper has for the blue god,
Krishna‖ (p. 31).
Within a few days, Gabriel turns over his earthly belongings: a silver college ring, traveler‘s
checks, his train ticket back to school, and even his clothes. He says, ―I expected a thank
you, but it never came‖ (p. 33). He also lets them shave his head. In addition, they make
him turn over his journal. He accepts it as necessary because, ―By keeping a journal now,
comparing the present with the life I renounced, my elevation to pure devotional service
would be hindered‖ (p. 35). Gabriel does not actually say so, but the reader gets the
impression that giving up the journal is part of ISKCON‘s program to dehumanize new
converts and break all connections to their former lives. The temple authorities let him call
his mother to tell her where he is and she is devastated.
Within a week of living in the temple, Gabriel turns nineteen. By that time he has
completely morphed into an ISKCON devotee, with all the self-deprecating attitudes of long-
time followers. Of his birthday, he writes: ―Being the commemoration of the birth of my
body it was of no significance. Only the birth of Krishna‘s pure devotees, so few in number,
is celebrated as an ‗Appearance Day‘ ― (p. 42).
He fully buys into the guru mystique. He explains:
The mystique was that the pure devotee could ―see‖ his disciple at every moment as
though looking into a crystal ball. Fear of offending the spiritual master by thought,
word or deed is sufficient to keep the earnest disciple obedient (p. 59).
He learns to lie for the organization the first time he goes out to sell books, a practice
known as sankirtan. His sankirtan leader tells him to give someone a button and say he‘s
raising money for a children‘s school. Gabriel asks, ―Do we have a school?‖ He learns that
the words don‘t matter. The object is to get the money, because anyone who gives money
to ISKCON will not have to go to hell. Gabriel catches on and becomes a star sankirtan
devotee through most of his four years. He comes to see himself as a spiritual soldier ―on
the battlefield, preaching to the conditioned souls, and rescuing dollars from their lustful
grips‖ (p. 60).
Although he tells himself he is happy with his new life, the text reveals that he is unhappy.
For example, at his first ratha-yatra cart festival, he contemplates suicide, because it is said
that anyone who dies under the ratha-yatra cart wheels goes back to Godhead.
I eyed those carnival wheels, imagining what it would be like to lie down in the
street, my neck in front of where the wheel would pass, surrounded by dozens of
chanting and dancing devotees. Freedom from the torments of this fleshy body, and
the mind‘s constant cravings would be mine. I would instantaneously become
Krishna conscious for eternity (p. 54).
The organization‘s brainwashing shows in his attitudes toward practically everything that
happens. In one passage a woman devotee is injured in a car accident and her face is
permanently scarred from shattered glass. He easily adopts the ISKCON party line:
The underlying belief was that Rasa-Lila Devi, known for being a sincere devotee,
was too ―attached‖ to her own beauty, so Krishna affected it for her spiritual well-
being (p. 55).
In the first few days after moving in, Gabriel learns the ISKCON bathroom routines, how to
wear the Indian clothes, and how to put on the forehead markings. He begins to attend the
morning program, including all the chanting, and so on, and painfully accepts the
restrictions on mixing with the opposite sex. He also begins to accept the ISKCON
indoctrination of guilt and fear. At first he has trouble staying awake to chant, but his new
bhakta leader (mentor) gets him to believe that, ―One‘s ability to remain awake while
chanting is equated with how much love and devotion the worshiper has for the blue god,
Krishna‖ (p. 31).
Within a few days, Gabriel turns over his earthly belongings: a silver college ring, traveler‘s
checks, his train ticket back to school, and even his clothes. He says, ―I expected a thank
you, but it never came‖ (p. 33). He also lets them shave his head. In addition, they make
him turn over his journal. He accepts it as necessary because, ―By keeping a journal now,
comparing the present with the life I renounced, my elevation to pure devotional service
would be hindered‖ (p. 35). Gabriel does not actually say so, but the reader gets the
impression that giving up the journal is part of ISKCON‘s program to dehumanize new
converts and break all connections to their former lives. The temple authorities let him call
his mother to tell her where he is and she is devastated.
Within a week of living in the temple, Gabriel turns nineteen. By that time he has
completely morphed into an ISKCON devotee, with all the self-deprecating attitudes of long-
time followers. Of his birthday, he writes: ―Being the commemoration of the birth of my
body it was of no significance. Only the birth of Krishna‘s pure devotees, so few in number,
is celebrated as an ‗Appearance Day‘ ― (p. 42).
He fully buys into the guru mystique. He explains:
The mystique was that the pure devotee could ―see‖ his disciple at every moment as
though looking into a crystal ball. Fear of offending the spiritual master by thought,
word or deed is sufficient to keep the earnest disciple obedient (p. 59).
He learns to lie for the organization the first time he goes out to sell books, a practice
known as sankirtan. His sankirtan leader tells him to give someone a button and say he‘s
raising money for a children‘s school. Gabriel asks, ―Do we have a school?‖ He learns that
the words don‘t matter. The object is to get the money, because anyone who gives money
to ISKCON will not have to go to hell. Gabriel catches on and becomes a star sankirtan
devotee through most of his four years. He comes to see himself as a spiritual soldier ―on
the battlefield, preaching to the conditioned souls, and rescuing dollars from their lustful
grips‖ (p. 60).
Although he tells himself he is happy with his new life, the text reveals that he is unhappy.
For example, at his first ratha-yatra cart festival, he contemplates suicide, because it is said
that anyone who dies under the ratha-yatra cart wheels goes back to Godhead.
I eyed those carnival wheels, imagining what it would be like to lie down in the
street, my neck in front of where the wheel would pass, surrounded by dozens of
chanting and dancing devotees. Freedom from the torments of this fleshy body, and
the mind‘s constant cravings would be mine. I would instantaneously become
Krishna conscious for eternity (p. 54).
The organization‘s brainwashing shows in his attitudes toward practically everything that
happens. In one passage a woman devotee is injured in a car accident and her face is
permanently scarred from shattered glass. He easily adopts the ISKCON party line:
The underlying belief was that Rasa-Lila Devi, known for being a sincere devotee,
was too ―attached‖ to her own beauty, so Krishna affected it for her spiritual well-
being (p. 55).
