they are nearly impossible to comprehend when
one is in an actual relationship.
I will briefly summarize each chapter in the
following subsections:
Chapter 1—The Relationality of Narcissism.
The term narcissism has become common
parlance (p. 1), and in this chapter Shaw
addresses the necessary task of defining the term
and exploring its origins and theoretical
development in psychoanalysis (p. 11). Shaw
challenges that those who “oscillate from
inflated to deflated narcissistic states are also
called pathological narcissists” (p. 10). He
proposes a different conceptualization—that
those who are deflated and thin skinned may be
children of TNs, and they are those “who in
development … [have] suffered severe damage
to their self-esteem system, and whose self-
esteem regulation is therefore inconsistent…”
This contrast with inflated, thick-skinned
narcissists is an important one that Shaw
addresses throughout the book one way or
another. The thesis of this chapter, which has
important clinical implications, is that separating
these different individual groups is important.
Chapter 2—The Adult Child of a
Traumatizing Narcissist. Shaw explores the
complexity of how TNs become TNs—are they
victim or victimizer? These are difficult
questions to grapple with, and ones he handles
well. His use of classic literature illustrates
these ideas and grounds them in reality and real
people’s lives. In an interesting discussion on
the adult child of the TN, he looks at the life of
Eugene O’Neill, the acclaimed playwright and
author of such works as Long Day’s Journey
Into Night. In O’Neill’s plays, the
uncomfortable truth that the child of a TN has
become a TN himself is illustrated in an
interesting (and poignant) way.
Chapter 3—Traumatic Narcissism in Cults.
This is the chapter in which Shaw illustrates TN
in cults through his own cult experience (a group
based on Hindu ideology). He argues the point
that, although his Guru used all of Lifton’s
mind-control techniques (p. 58), there was more
to the Guru’s “use of power to intimidate,
seduce, coerce, belittle and humiliate others” (p.
47) than mind control, and that one can explain
these attributes and abuses more fully by
understanding about TN.
Shaw illustrates another harmful cultic group by
looking at the Sullivan Institute, an abusive
psychotherapy cult. He notes that there is a lack
of research into cultic psychotherapy and states
that “Perhaps the concreteness of sexual
violation makes it easier to grasp and repudiate
than the dynamics of sadistic control and
domination between therapist and patient, which
can be enacted more subtly and be therefore less
obviously transgressive” (p. 55).
In this chapter, he also explores political issues
and “radical elites” (p. 57) under the subtitle
“Nationalistic Exceptionalism.” Additionally,
there is a summary of Lifton’s Eight Criteria for
Thought Reform (p. 58), although Shaw uses the
term mind control in his chapter.
Chapter 4—Narcissistic Authoritarianism in
Psychoanalysis. In this chapter, Shaw explores
authoritarianism. He illustrates how the power
imbalance in supervision or psychotherapy can
go too far, resulting in trainees not being
supported to grow and learn to make their own
“unique, personal, individual contributions to the
progressive evolution of the profession” (p. 70).
He explores the motivations of those of us who
become psychotherapists. He notes that we
often have idealistic aspirations, but that any of
us may unconsciously be drawn into the
dynamics of “the dark side of the analytic
frame” (p. 65), such as using our professional
status as a means of establishing ourselves “as
the healthy one” (p. 65). These are important
points, which are ethical issues within the
psychotherapy profession and ones worth taking
on board.
Chapter 5—Traumatic Narcissism in
Couples: Invisible Violence and Clinical
Morality. This chapter helpfully illustrates how
a psychotherapist might work with couples when
one of the partners is a TN. Shaw highlights the
differences between “battered spouses” and a
couple with one TN partner (p. 71), wherein
physical violence may or may not be present but
the dynamics of the relationship will be deeply
harmful.
58 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014
one is in an actual relationship.
I will briefly summarize each chapter in the
following subsections:
Chapter 1—The Relationality of Narcissism.
The term narcissism has become common
parlance (p. 1), and in this chapter Shaw
addresses the necessary task of defining the term
and exploring its origins and theoretical
development in psychoanalysis (p. 11). Shaw
challenges that those who “oscillate from
inflated to deflated narcissistic states are also
called pathological narcissists” (p. 10). He
proposes a different conceptualization—that
those who are deflated and thin skinned may be
children of TNs, and they are those “who in
development … [have] suffered severe damage
to their self-esteem system, and whose self-
esteem regulation is therefore inconsistent…”
This contrast with inflated, thick-skinned
narcissists is an important one that Shaw
addresses throughout the book one way or
another. The thesis of this chapter, which has
important clinical implications, is that separating
these different individual groups is important.
Chapter 2—The Adult Child of a
Traumatizing Narcissist. Shaw explores the
complexity of how TNs become TNs—are they
victim or victimizer? These are difficult
questions to grapple with, and ones he handles
well. His use of classic literature illustrates
these ideas and grounds them in reality and real
people’s lives. In an interesting discussion on
the adult child of the TN, he looks at the life of
Eugene O’Neill, the acclaimed playwright and
author of such works as Long Day’s Journey
Into Night. In O’Neill’s plays, the
uncomfortable truth that the child of a TN has
become a TN himself is illustrated in an
interesting (and poignant) way.
Chapter 3—Traumatic Narcissism in Cults.
This is the chapter in which Shaw illustrates TN
in cults through his own cult experience (a group
based on Hindu ideology). He argues the point
that, although his Guru used all of Lifton’s
mind-control techniques (p. 58), there was more
to the Guru’s “use of power to intimidate,
seduce, coerce, belittle and humiliate others” (p.
47) than mind control, and that one can explain
these attributes and abuses more fully by
understanding about TN.
Shaw illustrates another harmful cultic group by
looking at the Sullivan Institute, an abusive
psychotherapy cult. He notes that there is a lack
of research into cultic psychotherapy and states
that “Perhaps the concreteness of sexual
violation makes it easier to grasp and repudiate
than the dynamics of sadistic control and
domination between therapist and patient, which
can be enacted more subtly and be therefore less
obviously transgressive” (p. 55).
In this chapter, he also explores political issues
and “radical elites” (p. 57) under the subtitle
“Nationalistic Exceptionalism.” Additionally,
there is a summary of Lifton’s Eight Criteria for
Thought Reform (p. 58), although Shaw uses the
term mind control in his chapter.
Chapter 4—Narcissistic Authoritarianism in
Psychoanalysis. In this chapter, Shaw explores
authoritarianism. He illustrates how the power
imbalance in supervision or psychotherapy can
go too far, resulting in trainees not being
supported to grow and learn to make their own
“unique, personal, individual contributions to the
progressive evolution of the profession” (p. 70).
He explores the motivations of those of us who
become psychotherapists. He notes that we
often have idealistic aspirations, but that any of
us may unconsciously be drawn into the
dynamics of “the dark side of the analytic
frame” (p. 65), such as using our professional
status as a means of establishing ourselves “as
the healthy one” (p. 65). These are important
points, which are ethical issues within the
psychotherapy profession and ones worth taking
on board.
Chapter 5—Traumatic Narcissism in
Couples: Invisible Violence and Clinical
Morality. This chapter helpfully illustrates how
a psychotherapist might work with couples when
one of the partners is a TN. Shaw highlights the
differences between “battered spouses” and a
couple with one TN partner (p. 71), wherein
physical violence may or may not be present but
the dynamics of the relationship will be deeply
harmful.
58 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014
