therapist, rather than to research the group on
one’s own, it is most useful to follow the client’s
exploration of books, websites, and forums
relating to cultic groups and to the client’s group
in particular. This approach reduces
countertransference issues that may be
countertherapeutic.
It is important to distinguish the experience of
individuals born and raised in a group from that
of those who joined as adults. For those born
into a high-demand group, every aspect of their
development is affected by the narcissistic
leader, the group process, and the ways in which
that process affected their parents, their siblings,
and their community (Lalich &Tobias, 2006).
Understanding C-PTSD is helpful when one is
working with all clients, but it is vital when one
is working with those born and raised in groups.
Adults (and children) in cultic groups may
perpetrate both subtle and shocking boundary
violations and disruptions in primary caretaking
during the critical development of those children
and youth (Lalich &Tobias, 2006), which are
common antecedents to C-PTSD.
The influence of having been born and raised
within a cultic group is evident in a former
client, Mary. Mary was raised in a
fundamentalist Christian group in which she was
shamed every time she expressed an opinion or
preference. She was also aware that the male
leader had sexual relations with the adolescent
females, often with their parents’ knowledge.
After leaving the group, Mary chose to dress in a
manner that made it impossible for others to
identify whether she was male or female, and
she had other behaviors that protected her from
being “seen” and “desired.” Mary also reported
having trouble making decisions about even the
smallest issue. Mary’s experience highlights the
powerful and lasting influences of being raised
in a cultic group. As a young child, Mary
learned to protect herself in a highly adaptive
manner. She had the felt sense that making her
own choices could be quite dangerous if those
choices were at odds with the group’s ideology
and practice. Further, she learned that appearing
sexually desirable may have increased her odds
of being sexually abused. Her protective
strategies developed during a critical
developmental period and became an integral
part of her identity. This scenario is quite
different from that of Michael’s experience. By
the time he joined the group, his tastes, interests,
and gender identity had enough freedom and
safety to form.
Family practices and configurations can vary
greatly from group to group, and they may differ
greatly from those of Western culture. A
particular group’s interactions with the greater
world may be far more isolating and foreign
than one can imagine. Mary’s group was
located in a remote area in West Virginia. She
was homeschooled, and the leader and his
followers vilified all media, newspapers,
television, and the Internet. A careful interview
revealed that, until she left the group as a
teenager, she did not know there was a state
called West Virginia or that there was a United
States of America. She knew only that she was
in a “good” group and there were “evil and
fallen people on the outside” whom she could
not trust. If someone at the age of 18 doesn’t
know what a state is, imagine what else they
don’t know about mainstream culture. For this
reason, both first- and second-generation former
cult members may look and behave in ways that
seem strange. Often, these personality quirks
fall away or become integrated as the former
member finds his own place and tastes in the
greater culture.
Because the shame of being different is so
profound for human beings, it is imperative
when therapists are working with former
members not to make the mistake of calling
other family organizations or cultures abnormal.
The primacy of the two-parent, nuclear family is
a recent development in human history and is in
fact not the only paradigm for clan living in the
modern world. The problem with one’s being
born and raised in a cult is not that the members
are not raised in nuclear families one could
argue that living with many people who support
the parent-child bond is a better way to ensure
secure attachment (Perry, 2009). Rather, the
problem is that the leader and the group process
perpetrate boundary violations on the group’s
members often separate spouses from each
other, and parents from their children and
isolate their members from the greater world
(Lalich &Tobias, 2006). This environment
International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014 19
one’s own, it is most useful to follow the client’s
exploration of books, websites, and forums
relating to cultic groups and to the client’s group
in particular. This approach reduces
countertransference issues that may be
countertherapeutic.
It is important to distinguish the experience of
individuals born and raised in a group from that
of those who joined as adults. For those born
into a high-demand group, every aspect of their
development is affected by the narcissistic
leader, the group process, and the ways in which
that process affected their parents, their siblings,
and their community (Lalich &Tobias, 2006).
Understanding C-PTSD is helpful when one is
working with all clients, but it is vital when one
is working with those born and raised in groups.
Adults (and children) in cultic groups may
perpetrate both subtle and shocking boundary
violations and disruptions in primary caretaking
during the critical development of those children
and youth (Lalich &Tobias, 2006), which are
common antecedents to C-PTSD.
The influence of having been born and raised
within a cultic group is evident in a former
client, Mary. Mary was raised in a
fundamentalist Christian group in which she was
shamed every time she expressed an opinion or
preference. She was also aware that the male
leader had sexual relations with the adolescent
females, often with their parents’ knowledge.
After leaving the group, Mary chose to dress in a
manner that made it impossible for others to
identify whether she was male or female, and
she had other behaviors that protected her from
being “seen” and “desired.” Mary also reported
having trouble making decisions about even the
smallest issue. Mary’s experience highlights the
powerful and lasting influences of being raised
in a cultic group. As a young child, Mary
learned to protect herself in a highly adaptive
manner. She had the felt sense that making her
own choices could be quite dangerous if those
choices were at odds with the group’s ideology
and practice. Further, she learned that appearing
sexually desirable may have increased her odds
of being sexually abused. Her protective
strategies developed during a critical
developmental period and became an integral
part of her identity. This scenario is quite
different from that of Michael’s experience. By
the time he joined the group, his tastes, interests,
and gender identity had enough freedom and
safety to form.
Family practices and configurations can vary
greatly from group to group, and they may differ
greatly from those of Western culture. A
particular group’s interactions with the greater
world may be far more isolating and foreign
than one can imagine. Mary’s group was
located in a remote area in West Virginia. She
was homeschooled, and the leader and his
followers vilified all media, newspapers,
television, and the Internet. A careful interview
revealed that, until she left the group as a
teenager, she did not know there was a state
called West Virginia or that there was a United
States of America. She knew only that she was
in a “good” group and there were “evil and
fallen people on the outside” whom she could
not trust. If someone at the age of 18 doesn’t
know what a state is, imagine what else they
don’t know about mainstream culture. For this
reason, both first- and second-generation former
cult members may look and behave in ways that
seem strange. Often, these personality quirks
fall away or become integrated as the former
member finds his own place and tastes in the
greater culture.
Because the shame of being different is so
profound for human beings, it is imperative
when therapists are working with former
members not to make the mistake of calling
other family organizations or cultures abnormal.
The primacy of the two-parent, nuclear family is
a recent development in human history and is in
fact not the only paradigm for clan living in the
modern world. The problem with one’s being
born and raised in a cult is not that the members
are not raised in nuclear families one could
argue that living with many people who support
the parent-child bond is a better way to ensure
secure attachment (Perry, 2009). Rather, the
problem is that the leader and the group process
perpetrate boundary violations on the group’s
members often separate spouses from each
other, and parents from their children and
isolate their members from the greater world
(Lalich &Tobias, 2006). This environment
International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014 19
