change. He called me a week or so later and
referred me to Sandra, who was his daughter.
I started seeing Sandra soon after, without any
formal termination with Tina that I can
remember. I felt liberated. Sandra was a
different type of therapist than Tina she listened
to me and did not classify me in any particular
way. She helped me to form views of people
and situations in my life that enabled me to
become more proactive. I felt that she respected
me and was interested in what I had to say.
During this period of time (1980 to 1982), I was
a full-time graduate student at Columbia
University in the geography department. I
finished my MA certification in 1982, but I was
told that I would not be admitted to the doctoral
program in geography at Columbia. This news
was a gigantic blow for me I became very
depressed. After several months of licking my
wounds, I applied to Rutgers University’s
Department of Geography as a doctoral student
and was accepted.
I began a relationship with the person who later
became my husband, in 1980. Romantic
relationships were frowned upon in the Sullivan
Institute community because they were seen as a
way of removing oneself from the group as a
whole. They were also considered to be
emotionally constraining for the individuals
involved and potentially destructive. In spite of
this, Sandra did not comment about my
relationship with Matt. She was supportive and
again listened to what I said about the
relationship and how I felt within it.
Alexis—The Henchwoman
In 1982 or 1983, I came to a session with
Sandra, and she told me she was leaving New
York to go to England. She could no longer be
my therapist. I was sad about this, but I also
started to think that, if she could leave the group,
perhaps I could too. My relationship with Matt
had become stronger, and we were discussing
some of the problems we had with the Sullivan
Institute community. In the meantime, I was
referred to Alexis, who at that time was living
with the four leaders of the Sullivan Institute in a
building on the upper west side of the city.
Alexis had recently given birth to twins, and she
seemed a lot more interested in the twins than in
her patients. The twins frequently came into her
office (with a babysitter) during sessions, and I
assume that Alexis considered this practice part
of the therapeutic experience because she
certainly didn’t stop the session or arrange to
make up the time.
By the time I became a patient of Alexis, I was
already disaffected with the community. Matt
had ended our relationship, telling me that I was
too focused on him. This was a common reason
members gave for ending relationships in the
community. I was devastated, was taking a few
too many tranquilizers, and spoke with my
therapist about the situation. Her suggestion
was that I try to establish other relationships. I
had told Alexis that I was interested in having
children. I had been doing some babysitting
within the group for a while at this point. Alexis
somehow communicated to me that she did not
consider Matt an acceptable father for my
children (or, more likely, she didn’t consider me
to be an acceptable mother for his children).
Nor was she certain that I was mature enough to
have children. I was devastated.
I continued to have contact with Matt because I
worked in his apartment as part of my
community work assignment. Eventually we
started the relationship again he told me that he
had been ordered by his therapist to stop seeing
me. Matt was a trainee and was higher up in the
hierarchy of the group than I was. He was in
direct contact with the leadership and therefore
knew more about their interference with the
private lives of their patients. He told me a lot
of things about the leadership that were
horrifying to him and to me, and at this point we
started to discuss leaving the group together.
I began to lie in my sessions I told Alexis that I
wanted to redo my history in therapy. This
meant that I wanted to revisit my infancy and
childhood to determine their continuing impact
on me as an adult. I did this so that I wouldn’t
have to discuss the present with Alexis. At this
point, Matt and I had concrete plans to leave the
community, which we executed in March of
1985. I’m not sure how I terminated with
Alexis—I think I did it via her answering
machine.
International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014 49
referred me to Sandra, who was his daughter.
I started seeing Sandra soon after, without any
formal termination with Tina that I can
remember. I felt liberated. Sandra was a
different type of therapist than Tina she listened
to me and did not classify me in any particular
way. She helped me to form views of people
and situations in my life that enabled me to
become more proactive. I felt that she respected
me and was interested in what I had to say.
During this period of time (1980 to 1982), I was
a full-time graduate student at Columbia
University in the geography department. I
finished my MA certification in 1982, but I was
told that I would not be admitted to the doctoral
program in geography at Columbia. This news
was a gigantic blow for me I became very
depressed. After several months of licking my
wounds, I applied to Rutgers University’s
Department of Geography as a doctoral student
and was accepted.
I began a relationship with the person who later
became my husband, in 1980. Romantic
relationships were frowned upon in the Sullivan
Institute community because they were seen as a
way of removing oneself from the group as a
whole. They were also considered to be
emotionally constraining for the individuals
involved and potentially destructive. In spite of
this, Sandra did not comment about my
relationship with Matt. She was supportive and
again listened to what I said about the
relationship and how I felt within it.
Alexis—The Henchwoman
In 1982 or 1983, I came to a session with
Sandra, and she told me she was leaving New
York to go to England. She could no longer be
my therapist. I was sad about this, but I also
started to think that, if she could leave the group,
perhaps I could too. My relationship with Matt
had become stronger, and we were discussing
some of the problems we had with the Sullivan
Institute community. In the meantime, I was
referred to Alexis, who at that time was living
with the four leaders of the Sullivan Institute in a
building on the upper west side of the city.
Alexis had recently given birth to twins, and she
seemed a lot more interested in the twins than in
her patients. The twins frequently came into her
office (with a babysitter) during sessions, and I
assume that Alexis considered this practice part
of the therapeutic experience because she
certainly didn’t stop the session or arrange to
make up the time.
By the time I became a patient of Alexis, I was
already disaffected with the community. Matt
had ended our relationship, telling me that I was
too focused on him. This was a common reason
members gave for ending relationships in the
community. I was devastated, was taking a few
too many tranquilizers, and spoke with my
therapist about the situation. Her suggestion
was that I try to establish other relationships. I
had told Alexis that I was interested in having
children. I had been doing some babysitting
within the group for a while at this point. Alexis
somehow communicated to me that she did not
consider Matt an acceptable father for my
children (or, more likely, she didn’t consider me
to be an acceptable mother for his children).
Nor was she certain that I was mature enough to
have children. I was devastated.
I continued to have contact with Matt because I
worked in his apartment as part of my
community work assignment. Eventually we
started the relationship again he told me that he
had been ordered by his therapist to stop seeing
me. Matt was a trainee and was higher up in the
hierarchy of the group than I was. He was in
direct contact with the leadership and therefore
knew more about their interference with the
private lives of their patients. He told me a lot
of things about the leadership that were
horrifying to him and to me, and at this point we
started to discuss leaving the group together.
I began to lie in my sessions I told Alexis that I
wanted to redo my history in therapy. This
meant that I wanted to revisit my infancy and
childhood to determine their continuing impact
on me as an adult. I did this so that I wouldn’t
have to discuss the present with Alexis. At this
point, Matt and I had concrete plans to leave the
community, which we executed in March of
1985. I’m not sure how I terminated with
Alexis—I think I did it via her answering
machine.
International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014 49
