another community member, likely at Andrew’s
insistence, slapped me in the face, I thanked
him, despite the anger I struggled to conceal.
As my situation and state of mind deteriorated, I
decided to offer to Andrew the last remnant of
my self-worth—that is to say, all my money. In
the twisted reality in which I found myself, I
considered this my last, best option. I did not
think, “Leave this community.” I told him that I
wanted to surrender all that I had. What I
wanted to give up was my $80,000 inheritance.
I heard nothing immediately from Andrew about
accepting this offer.
Weeks later, I received instructions that I was to
move again, this time to Australia to join another
penitent there. My crime: “Betraying Andrew
and His Teachings.” Then, just 6 days after I
had arrived there, Andrew ordered my return to
Cambridge, where I was ordered to move into a
student house and share a room with three other
men.
My mortification deepened with each day and its
attendant indignities. Community members
insulted me. I had fallen very far and had done
so very publicly.
Soon, word came from Andrew’s office at
Foxhollow for me to send the $80,000 that I had
pledged. Despite my regret, I sent it in.
Not long after I sent Andrew the money, I
learned that a colleague of mine had fled the
London community and was in Rotterdam.
Because of the atmosphere of fear and
intimidation in Andrew’s communities, students
often left surreptitiously. I was given the task to
retrieve the escapee in Rotterdam, I did locate
him, but I had no luck convincing him to return.
However, now my lot seemed better, and I
returned to Foxhollow on somewhat better
footing.
Although no longer a leader, I jumped back into
work and life there, beginning each day at 3 AM
with a 3-hour practice of 1,000 prostrations
before a photograph of Andrew. I didn't gain
insight into why I had so precipitously fallen out
of favor. Was the recent positive turn of my
experience of community life “for real”? I
wasn't sure.
One day, Andrew asked me to search for a new
property for his London Center. I quickly
moved to London, and over the next several
months I found an appropriate property and
helped to arrange for its purchase.
Then, as if with the flick of a switch, I was
evicted from my quarters in a student house and
soon thereafter was told to return to
Massachusetts to live with two other fallen male
students. I was now running on empty,
exhausted. The three of us outcasts made futile
attempts to win Andrew’s forgiveness.
Some days later, I was told, once again, that I
was no longer welcome at Foxhollow. I felt
nothing. Not yet. Not even relief. I decided to
leave the community for good.
In the immediate days of my new life outside
EnlightenNext, I was aware that something very
important was happening. I began to feel joy
and liberation. I had anticipated that I might feel
overcome with guilt or shame. Instead, I felt
gratitude—to myself. I was back my life was
again mine. Autonomy, individuality,
freedom—all of the precious things I had been
conditioned to live without—were once again
mine. Words of Nietzsche come to mind: “At
long last the horizon appears free to us again...
the sea, our sea, lies open again: perhaps there
has never been such an ‘open sea.’”
Life After Andrew
Leaving the EnlightenNext cult has been one of
the most powerful and positive experiences of
my life. The sheer emptiness I felt was actually
a balm to my soul, and as the first hours and
days passed, I began to experience a sense of
boundless freedom and joy. The relief I felt at
having escaped Andrew’s grip propelled me into
a nearly constant state of bliss. The recovery of
one’s autonomy is the sweetest thing!
I also had my inner work cut out for me: I still
had many deeply ingrained Andrew-centric
ideas to purge.
Approximately two years after I had left, in early
2003, I heard from two fellow former students
Andrew had recently invited each for a sit-down,
and both reported that he had spoken negatively
of his former students, referring to us as the
34 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014
insistence, slapped me in the face, I thanked
him, despite the anger I struggled to conceal.
As my situation and state of mind deteriorated, I
decided to offer to Andrew the last remnant of
my self-worth—that is to say, all my money. In
the twisted reality in which I found myself, I
considered this my last, best option. I did not
think, “Leave this community.” I told him that I
wanted to surrender all that I had. What I
wanted to give up was my $80,000 inheritance.
I heard nothing immediately from Andrew about
accepting this offer.
Weeks later, I received instructions that I was to
move again, this time to Australia to join another
penitent there. My crime: “Betraying Andrew
and His Teachings.” Then, just 6 days after I
had arrived there, Andrew ordered my return to
Cambridge, where I was ordered to move into a
student house and share a room with three other
men.
My mortification deepened with each day and its
attendant indignities. Community members
insulted me. I had fallen very far and had done
so very publicly.
Soon, word came from Andrew’s office at
Foxhollow for me to send the $80,000 that I had
pledged. Despite my regret, I sent it in.
Not long after I sent Andrew the money, I
learned that a colleague of mine had fled the
London community and was in Rotterdam.
Because of the atmosphere of fear and
intimidation in Andrew’s communities, students
often left surreptitiously. I was given the task to
retrieve the escapee in Rotterdam, I did locate
him, but I had no luck convincing him to return.
However, now my lot seemed better, and I
returned to Foxhollow on somewhat better
footing.
Although no longer a leader, I jumped back into
work and life there, beginning each day at 3 AM
with a 3-hour practice of 1,000 prostrations
before a photograph of Andrew. I didn't gain
insight into why I had so precipitously fallen out
of favor. Was the recent positive turn of my
experience of community life “for real”? I
wasn't sure.
One day, Andrew asked me to search for a new
property for his London Center. I quickly
moved to London, and over the next several
months I found an appropriate property and
helped to arrange for its purchase.
Then, as if with the flick of a switch, I was
evicted from my quarters in a student house and
soon thereafter was told to return to
Massachusetts to live with two other fallen male
students. I was now running on empty,
exhausted. The three of us outcasts made futile
attempts to win Andrew’s forgiveness.
Some days later, I was told, once again, that I
was no longer welcome at Foxhollow. I felt
nothing. Not yet. Not even relief. I decided to
leave the community for good.
In the immediate days of my new life outside
EnlightenNext, I was aware that something very
important was happening. I began to feel joy
and liberation. I had anticipated that I might feel
overcome with guilt or shame. Instead, I felt
gratitude—to myself. I was back my life was
again mine. Autonomy, individuality,
freedom—all of the precious things I had been
conditioned to live without—were once again
mine. Words of Nietzsche come to mind: “At
long last the horizon appears free to us again...
the sea, our sea, lies open again: perhaps there
has never been such an ‘open sea.’”
Life After Andrew
Leaving the EnlightenNext cult has been one of
the most powerful and positive experiences of
my life. The sheer emptiness I felt was actually
a balm to my soul, and as the first hours and
days passed, I began to experience a sense of
boundless freedom and joy. The relief I felt at
having escaped Andrew’s grip propelled me into
a nearly constant state of bliss. The recovery of
one’s autonomy is the sweetest thing!
I also had my inner work cut out for me: I still
had many deeply ingrained Andrew-centric
ideas to purge.
Approximately two years after I had left, in early
2003, I heard from two fellow former students
Andrew had recently invited each for a sit-down,
and both reported that he had spoken negatively
of his former students, referring to us as the
34 International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 5, 2014
