13 VOLUME 7 |ISSUE 1 |2016
Relatively little literature exists regarding people born into and
raised in high-demand groups and subsequently leaving. These
people are often referred to as the second generation—although
with respect to some groups it might be more accurate to call
them the third or even fourth generation.
We hear from some who leave such groups and seem to have
adjusted fairly well. However, we rarely hear the voices of those
who have struggled or who are still struggling.
David’s is one such voice. Although he has spoken out through
his blog, he still wishes to remain anonymous because of fear of
recrimination.
Now in his early thirties, David was born and raised in an
Exclusive Brethren community in a small town in the west of
England. He comes from a large family, but he is the only one
who has left the group. He first contacted me some years ago,
and I feel privileged to have been able to watch and listen as he
moved slowly to the open door through which, last summer, he
finally walked. Just before he left, David began a blog to record
his thoughts and feelings, which he has continued since. It is from
this blog that most of the quotes that follow are taken—with his
permission, of course. Most of you know that I too was raised in
this high-demand group and left many years ago.
David is a resilient, empathic, clever, and resolute young man
whom most would describe as well adjusted. By exploring
his difficult endings and beginnings, I hope to promote some
discussion on how therapists can help people who were raised in
cults and then leave.
The Exclusive Brethren
The Exclusive Brethren emerged in the 1820s when John Nelson
Darby, commonly referred to as JND, began the journey that
would lead him to leave the established church, as he said, to
“practice the teachings of Holy Scripture in their original purity.”
On the website that was live when David was in the Brethren but
no longer exists, the Brethren described themselves thus:
Exclusive Brethren are believers on the Lord Jesus
Christ. They hold the truth of His deity, and accept the
authority of Scripture as the inspired word of God.
There are over 40,000 Exclusive Brethren worldwide,
who gather on the first day of the week for the Lord’s
Supper and daily for reading of the Scriptures, and
prayer for all who are in authority. Exclusive Brethren
are located in over 300 local assemblies in 19 countries
located in both northern and southern hemispheres.
(Exclusive Brethren Christian Fellowship, 2006)1
By Jill Mytton
When Endings Are
Beginnings: David’s Story
Based on a paper first presented at The British Psychological Society Division of Counselling Psychology Annual Conference, Dublin, Ireland,
2008. The author spoke on the Exclusive Brethren at ICSA’s 2015 Annual Conference in Stockholm. ICSA Today extends its thanks to David for
allowing the use of his blog in this article.
“I’m uncomfortable with modifying
my mind to the extent that the
acceptance becomes possible.”
ICSA 2015 Annual Conference -Stockholm, Sweden
Relatively little literature exists regarding people born into and
raised in high-demand groups and subsequently leaving. These
people are often referred to as the second generation—although
with respect to some groups it might be more accurate to call
them the third or even fourth generation.
We hear from some who leave such groups and seem to have
adjusted fairly well. However, we rarely hear the voices of those
who have struggled or who are still struggling.
David’s is one such voice. Although he has spoken out through
his blog, he still wishes to remain anonymous because of fear of
recrimination.
Now in his early thirties, David was born and raised in an
Exclusive Brethren community in a small town in the west of
England. He comes from a large family, but he is the only one
who has left the group. He first contacted me some years ago,
and I feel privileged to have been able to watch and listen as he
moved slowly to the open door through which, last summer, he
finally walked. Just before he left, David began a blog to record
his thoughts and feelings, which he has continued since. It is from
this blog that most of the quotes that follow are taken—with his
permission, of course. Most of you know that I too was raised in
this high-demand group and left many years ago.
David is a resilient, empathic, clever, and resolute young man
whom most would describe as well adjusted. By exploring
his difficult endings and beginnings, I hope to promote some
discussion on how therapists can help people who were raised in
cults and then leave.
The Exclusive Brethren
The Exclusive Brethren emerged in the 1820s when John Nelson
Darby, commonly referred to as JND, began the journey that
would lead him to leave the established church, as he said, to
“practice the teachings of Holy Scripture in their original purity.”
On the website that was live when David was in the Brethren but
no longer exists, the Brethren described themselves thus:
Exclusive Brethren are believers on the Lord Jesus
Christ. They hold the truth of His deity, and accept the
authority of Scripture as the inspired word of God.
There are over 40,000 Exclusive Brethren worldwide,
who gather on the first day of the week for the Lord’s
Supper and daily for reading of the Scriptures, and
prayer for all who are in authority. Exclusive Brethren
are located in over 300 local assemblies in 19 countries
located in both northern and southern hemispheres.
(Exclusive Brethren Christian Fellowship, 2006)1
By Jill Mytton
When Endings Are
Beginnings: David’s Story
Based on a paper first presented at The British Psychological Society Division of Counselling Psychology Annual Conference, Dublin, Ireland,
2008. The author spoke on the Exclusive Brethren at ICSA’s 2015 Annual Conference in Stockholm. ICSA Today extends its thanks to David for
allowing the use of his blog in this article.
“I’m uncomfortable with modifying
my mind to the extent that the
acceptance becomes possible.”
ICSA 2015 Annual Conference -Stockholm, Sweden
