Cultic Studies Review, Vol. 4, No. 1, 2005, Page 12
Creating fear in order to activate dependency needs is a strategy that has also been used in
cults. False scenarios of doomsday and threat from external forces have been fabricated in
order to heighten members‘ dependency on the leader. Jonestown, Branch Davidians, and
Heaven‘s Gate are just a few examples of cults that have propagated a sense of imminent
danger and, therefore, a belief that the end was near (either from natural or social forces)
in order to further a dependency on the leader. Muster (2004) reports that in the
International Society for Krishna Consciousness the leaders announced that a nuclear war
was impending, which resulted in a reorganization of the members into a crisis mode of
dependency and fear. In this sense cult leaders behave like insensitive parents who instill
fear and dependency rather than encourage independence and competence.
Deceiving the Child about the Targeted Parent’s Feelings in Order to Create Hurt,
Resentment, and Psychological Distance
Many of the participants were told that the targeted parent did not love them or want them.
―She said he didn‘t love nobody but himself. He didn‘t care about us.‖ (36) Another
participant said, ―That‘s another thing my mother told me was that my dad didn‘t want
anything to do with us boys. He just walked away from us.‖ (34) One woman said ―She told
me that my father wasn‘t my friend at all, that he had contempt for ‗a lout like you.‘‖ (12)
Another was told, ―I was not important to him. His other kids came first. I was last on his
list.‖ (39) In many cases the alienating parent actually engineered situations to make it
appear as if the targeted parent did not care and then used that very situation to convince
the child that the parent did not love them. For example, one mother threw away letters the
father was sending and then asked her daughter to explain how her father could love her if
he did not even bother to write. Other parents refused to accept phone calls, moved away
without providing contact information, and told the targeted parent that the child did not
want to see them. Because the alienating parents eliminated communication with the
targeted parent and controlled all information, the participants had no means with which to
question the veracity of what they were being told. Eventually, they capitulated under the
weight of the ―evidence‖ and concluded that the targeted parent did not love them after all,
further fueling their hurt and resentment. In addition, once they accepted this as ―fact,‖ the
alienating parent became even more important to them as their sole source of parental
love, support, and care. In cults the use of black/white and us/them thinking promotes the
belief that anyone outside the cult is necessarily wrong and/or does not really love or care
for them (Tobias &Lalich, 1994).
Withdrawing Love if the Child Indicates Affection or Positive Regard for the
Targeted Parent
A classic cult technique is to create a sense of psychological imbalance and anxiety in
members so that they are preoccupied with winning back the praise and acceptance of the
leader. Sometimes this is accomplished through the unpredictable use of rewards and
punishments (Goldberg &Goldberg, 1988). One particularly potent form of punishment is
for leaders to withdraw their love and acceptance of a member in order to create a sense of
insecurity. Panic ensues as the member scrambles to get back in the leader‘s good graces.
Almost everything else becomes secondary to regaining approval and equilibrium and
considerable effort is expended figuring out how to avoid expulsion from the leader‘s realm
of acceptance.
Many of the study participants described this same experience. They recalled experiencing
withdrawal of love by the alienating parent if they indicated any positive regard for the
targeted parent. They learned to pretend they had a poor visit with the targeted parent in
order to avoid rejection upon return home. ―She was always in a bit of a mood or temper
when we came back.‖ (5) Many spoke of getting the cold shoulder, of being emotionally cut
off from their parent. ―She‘d shut me out. It would be just silence.‖ (31) There was an
Creating fear in order to activate dependency needs is a strategy that has also been used in
cults. False scenarios of doomsday and threat from external forces have been fabricated in
order to heighten members‘ dependency on the leader. Jonestown, Branch Davidians, and
Heaven‘s Gate are just a few examples of cults that have propagated a sense of imminent
danger and, therefore, a belief that the end was near (either from natural or social forces)
in order to further a dependency on the leader. Muster (2004) reports that in the
International Society for Krishna Consciousness the leaders announced that a nuclear war
was impending, which resulted in a reorganization of the members into a crisis mode of
dependency and fear. In this sense cult leaders behave like insensitive parents who instill
fear and dependency rather than encourage independence and competence.
Deceiving the Child about the Targeted Parent’s Feelings in Order to Create Hurt,
Resentment, and Psychological Distance
Many of the participants were told that the targeted parent did not love them or want them.
―She said he didn‘t love nobody but himself. He didn‘t care about us.‖ (36) Another
participant said, ―That‘s another thing my mother told me was that my dad didn‘t want
anything to do with us boys. He just walked away from us.‖ (34) One woman said ―She told
me that my father wasn‘t my friend at all, that he had contempt for ‗a lout like you.‘‖ (12)
Another was told, ―I was not important to him. His other kids came first. I was last on his
list.‖ (39) In many cases the alienating parent actually engineered situations to make it
appear as if the targeted parent did not care and then used that very situation to convince
the child that the parent did not love them. For example, one mother threw away letters the
father was sending and then asked her daughter to explain how her father could love her if
he did not even bother to write. Other parents refused to accept phone calls, moved away
without providing contact information, and told the targeted parent that the child did not
want to see them. Because the alienating parents eliminated communication with the
targeted parent and controlled all information, the participants had no means with which to
question the veracity of what they were being told. Eventually, they capitulated under the
weight of the ―evidence‖ and concluded that the targeted parent did not love them after all,
further fueling their hurt and resentment. In addition, once they accepted this as ―fact,‖ the
alienating parent became even more important to them as their sole source of parental
love, support, and care. In cults the use of black/white and us/them thinking promotes the
belief that anyone outside the cult is necessarily wrong and/or does not really love or care
for them (Tobias &Lalich, 1994).
Withdrawing Love if the Child Indicates Affection or Positive Regard for the
Targeted Parent
A classic cult technique is to create a sense of psychological imbalance and anxiety in
members so that they are preoccupied with winning back the praise and acceptance of the
leader. Sometimes this is accomplished through the unpredictable use of rewards and
punishments (Goldberg &Goldberg, 1988). One particularly potent form of punishment is
for leaders to withdraw their love and acceptance of a member in order to create a sense of
insecurity. Panic ensues as the member scrambles to get back in the leader‘s good graces.
Almost everything else becomes secondary to regaining approval and equilibrium and
considerable effort is expended figuring out how to avoid expulsion from the leader‘s realm
of acceptance.
Many of the study participants described this same experience. They recalled experiencing
withdrawal of love by the alienating parent if they indicated any positive regard for the
targeted parent. They learned to pretend they had a poor visit with the targeted parent in
order to avoid rejection upon return home. ―She was always in a bit of a mood or temper
when we came back.‖ (5) Many spoke of getting the cold shoulder, of being emotionally cut
off from their parent. ―She‘d shut me out. It would be just silence.‖ (31) There was an
