Cultic Studies Journal, Vol. 9, No. 1, 1992, Page 44
I guess the worst part about it
is what they did to my brain
They took my brain
and along with it my feelings
my control
my passion and my love.
They took my brain and made me something
other than I wanted to be
I lost sight of the meaning
I sunk into the madness
I lost my self-control
my self-respect
my self.
I wanted to make a better world
I was willing to fight for that
willing to sacrifice
But they took my soul
turned it inside out
made me something
other than I wanted to be.
And I guess the worst part about it
is that I did the same to others
just like me.
The DDD Syndrome
The thoughtful, methodical, and thorough training process that took place in the WDU falls
readily into what cult researchers have called the “modified DDD syndrome”: deception,
dependency, and dread (Langone, 1991, pp. 264-265). A brief review of some of the incidents
in my early history as a member provides examples of the seduction/manipulation technique
typically used by cults. This process is both subtle and blunt the effects are both unconscious
and painful.
In my case, the deception began when I thought I was joining a national women’s group,
while, at the first meeting, I found myself in a mixed group. During a break, I made a
comment to a friend that I was surprised and somewhat upset that this wasn’t what I’d been
told. When the meeting reconvened, I was suddenly the target of a harsh criticism led by my
initial recruiter (Sandra) for having a “backward and antirevolutionary attitude.” Everyone
joined in and I was incredibly embarrassed. I was told to come back to the next meeting with
a written self-criticism. The deception issue remained unacknowledged by everyone. I was
both angry and taken aback, but I wrote the self-criticism and continued to go to meetings.
The following week my self-criticism was held up as an example of someone who really “took
to heart” what was said. Once again, I was treated well. Meanwhile, the friend with whom I
had been caught talking the week before had her self-criticism held up for ridicule. She
received more criticism and was told to write it again. I was enormously relieved that mine
“passed.” In reality I had no idea what I had written that had “worked,” I was just glad that it
had. Having everyone in the room focusing all that anger at me was no fun.
Shortly thereafter I was asked to be a study group teacher. I was surprised given my recently
exposed “backward” attitude. I was also delighted at being recognized I looked forward to
the assignment. After one or two study group sessions, I was met with by two people in
leadership. I was told that I was doing an outstanding job, but there was one problem. They
told me that I had to change my style of dress so as not to intimidate the “workers” in the
I guess the worst part about it
is what they did to my brain
They took my brain
and along with it my feelings
my control
my passion and my love.
They took my brain and made me something
other than I wanted to be
I lost sight of the meaning
I sunk into the madness
I lost my self-control
my self-respect
my self.
I wanted to make a better world
I was willing to fight for that
willing to sacrifice
But they took my soul
turned it inside out
made me something
other than I wanted to be.
And I guess the worst part about it
is that I did the same to others
just like me.
The DDD Syndrome
The thoughtful, methodical, and thorough training process that took place in the WDU falls
readily into what cult researchers have called the “modified DDD syndrome”: deception,
dependency, and dread (Langone, 1991, pp. 264-265). A brief review of some of the incidents
in my early history as a member provides examples of the seduction/manipulation technique
typically used by cults. This process is both subtle and blunt the effects are both unconscious
and painful.
In my case, the deception began when I thought I was joining a national women’s group,
while, at the first meeting, I found myself in a mixed group. During a break, I made a
comment to a friend that I was surprised and somewhat upset that this wasn’t what I’d been
told. When the meeting reconvened, I was suddenly the target of a harsh criticism led by my
initial recruiter (Sandra) for having a “backward and antirevolutionary attitude.” Everyone
joined in and I was incredibly embarrassed. I was told to come back to the next meeting with
a written self-criticism. The deception issue remained unacknowledged by everyone. I was
both angry and taken aback, but I wrote the self-criticism and continued to go to meetings.
The following week my self-criticism was held up as an example of someone who really “took
to heart” what was said. Once again, I was treated well. Meanwhile, the friend with whom I
had been caught talking the week before had her self-criticism held up for ridicule. She
received more criticism and was told to write it again. I was enormously relieved that mine
“passed.” In reality I had no idea what I had written that had “worked,” I was just glad that it
had. Having everyone in the room focusing all that anger at me was no fun.
Shortly thereafter I was asked to be a study group teacher. I was surprised given my recently
exposed “backward” attitude. I was also delighted at being recognized I looked forward to
the assignment. After one or two study group sessions, I was met with by two people in
leadership. I was told that I was doing an outstanding job, but there was one problem. They
told me that I had to change my style of dress so as not to intimidate the “workers” in the
