International Journal of Cultic Studies ■ Vol. 8, 2017 45
Also, because all of their time was spent in the
cult, most participants reported that they did not
know how to spend free time.
Counseling for SGAs can include a
psychoeducational piece that incorporates
financial discussions, living arrangements, and
long-term educational and career plans.
Counselors can provide resources and
information to help clients empower themselves
as they integrate into society. ICSA provides
resources and support groups at icsa.com for
SGAs to learn skills related to integrating into
the outside world.
Theme 9: Sense of Identity
Of the 12 themes that resulted from my data
analysis of participant responses, the final four
serve to unify those responses. As noted
previously, these overarching themes were
implicitly interwoven throughout the various
responses.
While in the cult, members were taught how to
be and act. Their cult personalities, or
pseudopersonalities (West &Martin, 1994)
were formed in the cult as a result of the cult
socialization and teachings. “I had built my
entire way of thinking about being [a cult
member]. And, like, that’s how I defined
myself.” Most participants reported that they had
two identities, one that was constructed in the
cult and one secret self that was not known to
the cult. Participants felt torn between their two
identities. One stated, “I got the message that it’s
not okay to be who you are or do anything that is
not outlined socially. … I always felt they were
trying to guilt and shame you … You have to do
this or be this to support the cult.” While coming
out of the cult, one participant remembered,
I had to find and recognize an inner
voice. At first I ignored it in the cult. I
wasn’t allowed to and I couldn’t follow
my gut. I am trying to learn to recognize
it now. I feel it in my gut.
Once they left, many participants reported
feeling lost, confused, different, behind, and
even somewhat childlike or naïve in relationship
to others around them. Participants reported that
discovering their true personality was difficult
but rewarding. “It was sort of a personality
disintegration thing that went on,” one
participant described. “So if I’m not [a cult
member], what am I?” Another stated, “I am all
about self-discovery and self-awareness now. It
is a big process. I realized that I was muted in
my childhood.” All participants affirmed that
even though finding out who they were was
difficult, they were glad they had the
opportunity to figure out their personality
outside of the cult. One participant stated, “The
fake person is gone. I am real now.”
Counselors can help break down the
personalities of the cult with their clients, and
can encourage the exploration of authentic client
personalities, formerly the secret selves.
Exploring parts or beliefs of cult life that clients
agreed with and disagreed with can be a starting
point in terms of defining who they are. For
example, one SGA described a love for science
and how science was discouraged in the cult,
and also how the SGA appreciated love of
family in the cult. Ultimately this individual
came to identify as someone who appreciated
scientific reasoning and a deep love for family.
SGAs can expect confusion, depression, and
feelings of alienation throughout self-
exploration as they try to untangle who they are
versus who the cult persona was (Lalich &
Tobias, 2006).
Theme 10: Emotional Consequences of Life in
the Cult
While they were in the cult, participants reported
feeling judged by others, guilty about their
decisions and thoughts, and angry as a result of
manipulation, abuse, and control. Some
individuals left because of their anger toward
parents or leaders or both. They all experienced
a wide variety of strong emotions, especially
guilt and anger, while they were leaving. One
participant talked about how she was “called out
and judged all the time while in the cult,” and
how “leaders would fixate on her behavior.”
Today, participants report that they continue to
deal with guilt, anger, shame, and depression.
One participant related, "I was pissed and I still
am. They owe me an apology! I did nothing
wrong! I feel wronged by them. They don’t
know how to treat people.” Another stated, “I
constantly feel guilty over a lot of things.”
Also, because all of their time was spent in the
cult, most participants reported that they did not
know how to spend free time.
Counseling for SGAs can include a
psychoeducational piece that incorporates
financial discussions, living arrangements, and
long-term educational and career plans.
Counselors can provide resources and
information to help clients empower themselves
as they integrate into society. ICSA provides
resources and support groups at icsa.com for
SGAs to learn skills related to integrating into
the outside world.
Theme 9: Sense of Identity
Of the 12 themes that resulted from my data
analysis of participant responses, the final four
serve to unify those responses. As noted
previously, these overarching themes were
implicitly interwoven throughout the various
responses.
While in the cult, members were taught how to
be and act. Their cult personalities, or
pseudopersonalities (West &Martin, 1994)
were formed in the cult as a result of the cult
socialization and teachings. “I had built my
entire way of thinking about being [a cult
member]. And, like, that’s how I defined
myself.” Most participants reported that they had
two identities, one that was constructed in the
cult and one secret self that was not known to
the cult. Participants felt torn between their two
identities. One stated, “I got the message that it’s
not okay to be who you are or do anything that is
not outlined socially. … I always felt they were
trying to guilt and shame you … You have to do
this or be this to support the cult.” While coming
out of the cult, one participant remembered,
I had to find and recognize an inner
voice. At first I ignored it in the cult. I
wasn’t allowed to and I couldn’t follow
my gut. I am trying to learn to recognize
it now. I feel it in my gut.
Once they left, many participants reported
feeling lost, confused, different, behind, and
even somewhat childlike or naïve in relationship
to others around them. Participants reported that
discovering their true personality was difficult
but rewarding. “It was sort of a personality
disintegration thing that went on,” one
participant described. “So if I’m not [a cult
member], what am I?” Another stated, “I am all
about self-discovery and self-awareness now. It
is a big process. I realized that I was muted in
my childhood.” All participants affirmed that
even though finding out who they were was
difficult, they were glad they had the
opportunity to figure out their personality
outside of the cult. One participant stated, “The
fake person is gone. I am real now.”
Counselors can help break down the
personalities of the cult with their clients, and
can encourage the exploration of authentic client
personalities, formerly the secret selves.
Exploring parts or beliefs of cult life that clients
agreed with and disagreed with can be a starting
point in terms of defining who they are. For
example, one SGA described a love for science
and how science was discouraged in the cult,
and also how the SGA appreciated love of
family in the cult. Ultimately this individual
came to identify as someone who appreciated
scientific reasoning and a deep love for family.
SGAs can expect confusion, depression, and
feelings of alienation throughout self-
exploration as they try to untangle who they are
versus who the cult persona was (Lalich &
Tobias, 2006).
Theme 10: Emotional Consequences of Life in
the Cult
While they were in the cult, participants reported
feeling judged by others, guilty about their
decisions and thoughts, and angry as a result of
manipulation, abuse, and control. Some
individuals left because of their anger toward
parents or leaders or both. They all experienced
a wide variety of strong emotions, especially
guilt and anger, while they were leaving. One
participant talked about how she was “called out
and judged all the time while in the cult,” and
how “leaders would fixate on her behavior.”
Today, participants report that they continue to
deal with guilt, anger, shame, and depression.
One participant related, "I was pissed and I still
am. They owe me an apology! I did nothing
wrong! I feel wronged by them. They don’t
know how to treat people.” Another stated, “I
constantly feel guilty over a lot of things.”
