20 24 ICSA TODAY
where i belong
not in the soft forgiving arms of the willow tree,
not in the healing sands of time,
not in the redeeming river,
not in the gentle unfurling of petals opening up to receive light,
not in the ebb and flow of the ocean,
not in the sway of the candle flame,
not in the breaths I take between words, and not in the words themselves,
not in the paranoia of the waking world,
not in the liquid black silk of night that billows down like a curtain to hide me away,
not in the shining celestial bodies that invite mine to come out of hiding,
not in the dreams that devastate,
not in the dreams that bring you back to me,
not in the opening of eyes that means it wasn't real,
not in the monotonous way life continues,
not in the questions, not in the answers,
not in the fact that I don't pray anymore,
not in the uncertain steps I call dancing,
not in the shadow that mocks my every move,
not in the scars that adorn my outer layers,
not in the scars that adorn my inner layers,
not in the fading after-image of what came before me
not in what is to come,
not in my shell, not in my reflection, not in my clothes, not in my
house, not on my street, not in my head, not in my chest, not in my
hands, not in your arms, not in mine,
so where?