13 VOLUME 6 |ISSUE 3 |2015
FOR FAMILIES WHO SUSPECT THAT A
LOVED ONE MAY BE INVOLVED WITH A
HIGH-DEMAND GROUP (CULT)
By Steve K. D. Eichel
How can I tell if my loved one is in a high-demand group
(HDG) or cultic relationship?
Deception is the key to whether a group or person is cultic,
or just more dedicated than the rest of us. Historically,
groups and persons who have had a beneficial effect on
the world have done so without disguising their beliefs or
misrepresenting their practices. Every member of a mainline
religious community is given lengthy exposure to the beliefs
and practices of the community before the member is
permitted to make a commitment. Legitimate groups and
individuals can do this because they are capable of delivering
what they promise.
HDGs and cultic persons, in contrast, promise what no one
can deliver. Naturally, because they promise what can be
had nowhere else, they can make extraordinary demands on
their followers or partners, since the expected reward is also
extraordinary. If these persons or groups could deliver on what
they promise, we should all be members. Since they cannot,
they have to build systems that trick people into joining and
staying in the system. This goal is usually accomplished with a
kind of bait-and-switch technique.
For example, a group promises eternal inner peace and then
trains new recruits in relaxation techniques. The techniques,
available in any library, are presented as the secret “wisdom
of the ages.” The new recruits are actually able to relax using
the technique. Their new ability is ascribed to the uniqueness
of the group and proves that the group can deliver on its
promises. When the new technique fails, the members can be
blamed for not doing it right or can be commended for rising
to a new level and needing more training in other techniques.
Either way, guilt or praise, the group keeps its devoted without
delivering anything else it promised.
Just believing strongly in or committing deeply to a cause,
a group, or a person does not mean that one is in a HDG.
Through history, countless devoted individuals, groups, and
intense belief systems have served to bring societies back
from barbarism to respect for human life and liberty. All these
groups have accomplished their lofty goals without indulging
in the practices below:
• The group, its leader, or the partner expects unusual
commitment of time and resources to the group. For
example: Full-time college students are expected
to spend in excess of 20 to 30 hours each week on
group-related activities.
• The group, its leader, or the partner expects more
or less exclusive devotion or focus on the leader or
partner, or on the group’s practices or beliefs. Other
relationships are discouraged, other honorable
persons are overtly or subtly dismissed, and other
ideas and lifestyles are ridiculed. The promise is
that extreme devotion yields extreme rewards.
Members are special, part of an elite nonmembers
are subnormal, and former members are dangerous.
Doubts are suppressed by enforcing the practices of
the group, in excess: chanting, meditation, speaking
in tongues, singing repetitive lyrics, following
repetitive work regimens, spending time in endless
study (looking up words, etc.).
• The group, its leader, or the partner acts as if right
and wrong are defined by what furthers or inhibits
the interests of the group. The world is defined in
sharp, black-or-white categories.
• The group, its leader, or the partner emphasizes
attraction of new members, collection of money, or
participation in the group’s practices to the exclusion
of other activities necessary for normal emotional
growth.
• However minor they might be, thoughts, feelings,
and actions of members are expected to be under
the benevolent care and direction of the leader or
partner.
I think my loved one is in a HDG, or a
cultic or abusive relationship what do I do now?
• Keep the lines of communication open. If initial
concerns and doubts are not effective in helping
the member to leave, it is not necessary to label the
group or partner as cultic or abusive. Remember, this
is a cherished belief or person your loved one may
not be capable of rejecting the connection on first
or second hearing. Instead, try to keep pregroup or
prerelationship memories alive emphasize the care
and love that exists in the relationship now.
• Educate yourself. The International Cultic Studies
Association (ICSA) website contains a wealth of
information useful to families, along with links to
several other organizations and individuals who can
provide guidance on specific groups and beliefs.
Knowing what you are talking about can prevent
Deception is the key
to whether a
group or person is cultic…
FOR FAMILIES WHO SUSPECT THAT A
LOVED ONE MAY BE INVOLVED WITH A
HIGH-DEMAND GROUP (CULT)
By Steve K. D. Eichel
How can I tell if my loved one is in a high-demand group
(HDG) or cultic relationship?
Deception is the key to whether a group or person is cultic,
or just more dedicated than the rest of us. Historically,
groups and persons who have had a beneficial effect on
the world have done so without disguising their beliefs or
misrepresenting their practices. Every member of a mainline
religious community is given lengthy exposure to the beliefs
and practices of the community before the member is
permitted to make a commitment. Legitimate groups and
individuals can do this because they are capable of delivering
what they promise.
HDGs and cultic persons, in contrast, promise what no one
can deliver. Naturally, because they promise what can be
had nowhere else, they can make extraordinary demands on
their followers or partners, since the expected reward is also
extraordinary. If these persons or groups could deliver on what
they promise, we should all be members. Since they cannot,
they have to build systems that trick people into joining and
staying in the system. This goal is usually accomplished with a
kind of bait-and-switch technique.
For example, a group promises eternal inner peace and then
trains new recruits in relaxation techniques. The techniques,
available in any library, are presented as the secret “wisdom
of the ages.” The new recruits are actually able to relax using
the technique. Their new ability is ascribed to the uniqueness
of the group and proves that the group can deliver on its
promises. When the new technique fails, the members can be
blamed for not doing it right or can be commended for rising
to a new level and needing more training in other techniques.
Either way, guilt or praise, the group keeps its devoted without
delivering anything else it promised.
Just believing strongly in or committing deeply to a cause,
a group, or a person does not mean that one is in a HDG.
Through history, countless devoted individuals, groups, and
intense belief systems have served to bring societies back
from barbarism to respect for human life and liberty. All these
groups have accomplished their lofty goals without indulging
in the practices below:
• The group, its leader, or the partner expects unusual
commitment of time and resources to the group. For
example: Full-time college students are expected
to spend in excess of 20 to 30 hours each week on
group-related activities.
• The group, its leader, or the partner expects more
or less exclusive devotion or focus on the leader or
partner, or on the group’s practices or beliefs. Other
relationships are discouraged, other honorable
persons are overtly or subtly dismissed, and other
ideas and lifestyles are ridiculed. The promise is
that extreme devotion yields extreme rewards.
Members are special, part of an elite nonmembers
are subnormal, and former members are dangerous.
Doubts are suppressed by enforcing the practices of
the group, in excess: chanting, meditation, speaking
in tongues, singing repetitive lyrics, following
repetitive work regimens, spending time in endless
study (looking up words, etc.).
• The group, its leader, or the partner acts as if right
and wrong are defined by what furthers or inhibits
the interests of the group. The world is defined in
sharp, black-or-white categories.
• The group, its leader, or the partner emphasizes
attraction of new members, collection of money, or
participation in the group’s practices to the exclusion
of other activities necessary for normal emotional
growth.
• However minor they might be, thoughts, feelings,
and actions of members are expected to be under
the benevolent care and direction of the leader or
partner.
I think my loved one is in a HDG, or a
cultic or abusive relationship what do I do now?
• Keep the lines of communication open. If initial
concerns and doubts are not effective in helping
the member to leave, it is not necessary to label the
group or partner as cultic or abusive. Remember, this
is a cherished belief or person your loved one may
not be capable of rejecting the connection on first
or second hearing. Instead, try to keep pregroup or
prerelationship memories alive emphasize the care
and love that exists in the relationship now.
• Educate yourself. The International Cultic Studies
Association (ICSA) website contains a wealth of
information useful to families, along with links to
several other organizations and individuals who can
provide guidance on specific groups and beliefs.
Knowing what you are talking about can prevent
Deception is the key
to whether a
group or person is cultic…
