28 ICSA TODAY VOLUME 10 |ISSUE 3 |2019
With the family as support, Pat and Joe stayed about ten days,
counseling and helping Cathryn, gently, through this most
difficult time of transition. Cathryn and Cynthia’s description of
the evening meals during this time are particularly touching
and revelatory of what it is to return to the simple pleasures of
normalcy after a time of such horror. Dinners were “relaxed and
terribly funny.” Although no alcohol was involved, Joe and Pat
and the others would get a “little silly.” There was much laughter.
Cathryn recalls that, although she was still disoriented, it “…was
soothing. It was a profound sea-change. It was nice to be a part
of the light atmosphere at the table… to be with people who
loved me and where I felt safe.”
Following this, Cathryn spent 2 or 3 months at Wellspring, a
facility (now closed) for people to rest and recover after a cult
experience. Both Cathryn and Cynthia repeat often their deep
gratitude to the organization of ICSA and to all the specific
individuals involved in saving Cathryn’s life they call Pat and
Joe “unsung heroes.” Cynthia declares, “I thought that, whatever
else happens, I’ve got myself involved with an organization of
really wonderful people. My gratitude will last my lifetime.”
~
Cathryn now lives in Dunedin, New Zealand, a quiet, beautiful
place where she is deeply content and where she has
established her own small business, a cleaning service. “We have
a great team, wonderful clients. We try to uplift the sense of
labor as not being unskilled, but instead, a trade level of work
that offers fair pay and treatment… It’s difficult for people to
work hard if it’s not worth it.”
Cynthia, for her part, shares about her life with her husband,
“We’ve lived in New York for the last 25 years, and we’ve
enjoyed it immensely. We have a wonderful life.”
~
Back at the Kaufman Center, under Cynthia’s watchful eye,
her young students skip, hop, and twirl around the room,
this time as horses trotting, that time as imaginary animals of
their own choosing. Cynthia corrals them back, hauls some
very heavy-looking xylophones over, bending and lifting
gracefully, instructing the students in what would be seen as
the traditional side of music instruction. They identify notes and
subtle sound differences with amazing acuity. Then Cynthia
turns them loose again with instructions about the parameters.
This time they are (self-selected) birds in flight. They soar, free.
At the piano, guiding them with music, Cynthia is the youngest
and freest in the room.
As I head back to the subway, amidst the dirt and noise and
beauty of the city that Cynthia loves, Candide is with me again.
This time, it’s the triumphant last verse, which could almost
serve as an anthem for ICSA:
Let dreamers dream/What worlds they may/Such
Edens can’t be found/The sweetest flower/The fairest
tree/Is grown in solid ground./We’re neither pure, nor
wise, nor good/We’ll do the best we know/We’ll build
our house/And chop our wood/And make our garden
grow/And make our garden grow! n
Cathryn and Cynthia, 2018
112927
Arts: Poetry By Lilia Volodina
The Catcher in the Rye
I wrote this in a blog I had when I still lived with my mom
back in Russia. I was not part of the cult anymore but my
mom was, so the cult still dictated and controlled my life
through her. This was written a few months before I heard of
the opportunity of going to the United States. Leaving home
was on my mind for a long time at that point. The poem was
originally written in Russian, and I translated it recently.
(February 26, 2008)
It seems like I ,m standing on the edge of the precipice.
My bare feet are tickled by the grass (or rye??).
The wind is playing with my hair and I ,m spinning, spinning,
spinning on the very edge
with my eyes closed.
I know that if I fall,
I ,ll leave my past behind.
Not like there ,s anyone to catch me up here.
No one will grab my hand—
Not anyone that I ,d want to.
So I guess I ,m going to fall,
And hope that someone will catch me
At the bottom.
Cynthia declares, “I thought that,
whatever else happens, I’ve got
myself involved with an organization
of really wonderful people. My
gratitude will last my lifetime.”
With the family as support, Pat and Joe stayed about ten days,
counseling and helping Cathryn, gently, through this most
difficult time of transition. Cathryn and Cynthia’s description of
the evening meals during this time are particularly touching
and revelatory of what it is to return to the simple pleasures of
normalcy after a time of such horror. Dinners were “relaxed and
terribly funny.” Although no alcohol was involved, Joe and Pat
and the others would get a “little silly.” There was much laughter.
Cathryn recalls that, although she was still disoriented, it “…was
soothing. It was a profound sea-change. It was nice to be a part
of the light atmosphere at the table… to be with people who
loved me and where I felt safe.”
Following this, Cathryn spent 2 or 3 months at Wellspring, a
facility (now closed) for people to rest and recover after a cult
experience. Both Cathryn and Cynthia repeat often their deep
gratitude to the organization of ICSA and to all the specific
individuals involved in saving Cathryn’s life they call Pat and
Joe “unsung heroes.” Cynthia declares, “I thought that, whatever
else happens, I’ve got myself involved with an organization of
really wonderful people. My gratitude will last my lifetime.”
~
Cathryn now lives in Dunedin, New Zealand, a quiet, beautiful
place where she is deeply content and where she has
established her own small business, a cleaning service. “We have
a great team, wonderful clients. We try to uplift the sense of
labor as not being unskilled, but instead, a trade level of work
that offers fair pay and treatment… It’s difficult for people to
work hard if it’s not worth it.”
Cynthia, for her part, shares about her life with her husband,
“We’ve lived in New York for the last 25 years, and we’ve
enjoyed it immensely. We have a wonderful life.”
~
Back at the Kaufman Center, under Cynthia’s watchful eye,
her young students skip, hop, and twirl around the room,
this time as horses trotting, that time as imaginary animals of
their own choosing. Cynthia corrals them back, hauls some
very heavy-looking xylophones over, bending and lifting
gracefully, instructing the students in what would be seen as
the traditional side of music instruction. They identify notes and
subtle sound differences with amazing acuity. Then Cynthia
turns them loose again with instructions about the parameters.
This time they are (self-selected) birds in flight. They soar, free.
At the piano, guiding them with music, Cynthia is the youngest
and freest in the room.
As I head back to the subway, amidst the dirt and noise and
beauty of the city that Cynthia loves, Candide is with me again.
This time, it’s the triumphant last verse, which could almost
serve as an anthem for ICSA:
Let dreamers dream/What worlds they may/Such
Edens can’t be found/The sweetest flower/The fairest
tree/Is grown in solid ground./We’re neither pure, nor
wise, nor good/We’ll do the best we know/We’ll build
our house/And chop our wood/And make our garden
grow/And make our garden grow! n
Cathryn and Cynthia, 2018
112927
Arts: Poetry By Lilia Volodina
The Catcher in the Rye
I wrote this in a blog I had when I still lived with my mom
back in Russia. I was not part of the cult anymore but my
mom was, so the cult still dictated and controlled my life
through her. This was written a few months before I heard of
the opportunity of going to the United States. Leaving home
was on my mind for a long time at that point. The poem was
originally written in Russian, and I translated it recently.
(February 26, 2008)
It seems like I ,m standing on the edge of the precipice.
My bare feet are tickled by the grass (or rye??).
The wind is playing with my hair and I ,m spinning, spinning,
spinning on the very edge
with my eyes closed.
I know that if I fall,
I ,ll leave my past behind.
Not like there ,s anyone to catch me up here.
No one will grab my hand—
Not anyone that I ,d want to.
So I guess I ,m going to fall,
And hope that someone will catch me
At the bottom.
Cynthia declares, “I thought that,
whatever else happens, I’ve got
myself involved with an organization
of really wonderful people. My
gratitude will last my lifetime.”
