6 ICSA TODAY
have experienced significant shame and oppression in their
groups, a period of sexual hyperactivity is fairly common and
can even be highly productive. In therapy, I have found that
firmly maintaining a neutral and nonjudgmental stance—even
with highly risky behaviors (e.g., unprotected sex)—is often the
only way I can facilitate real openness and honesty in my clients,
and that is the single most crucial element for growth. It is only
when my clients realize they can trust that I will remain neutral
and nonjudgmental that I can broach the topic of sexual health
and prevention of disease and pregnancy. This approach, called
harm reduction, is commonly employed in addictions counseling
and has been empirically validated as an effective approach to
dealing with potentially harmful behaviors when clients are not
ready or are unwilling to cease engaging in them altogether
(Hunt, 2016).
Treating Sexual Trauma
Many former cult members have
experienced, directly or vicariously,
sexual abuse, trauma, or exploitation
in their groups. Those born or
raised in cultic environments seem
particularly vulnerable to these
harmful experiences. If a client is
currently experiencing sexual abuse
or exploitation, the therapist needs
to be familiar with his potential
legal obligations in that situation.
In Delaware, for example, I may be
required to report a health
professional (such as a physician or a
therapist) who is sexually exploiting
or has sexually exploited a patient 5
reporting requirements when the
perpetrator is a clergyperson are less clear. Similarly, some states
may require a therapist to report an adult caretaker’s prior sexual
abuse even if the victim is not a minor and is no longer under the
care of or even in contact with that adult.
However, assuming I do not have to report the perpetrator of
sexual abuse, helping my client face and deal with her abuse is
often (but not always!) ultimately necessary for her to recover
or achieve healthy sexual functioning. Growing up in a cultic
environment of secrecy and even conspiratorial complicity often
complicates this healing process. Victims/survivors of cultic
sexual abuse not only feel shame they often struggle with the
gaslighting6 they experienced in the group.
It is bad enough when a family member denies the reality of a
child being sexually abused or exploited imagine the degree
of harm that can occur when the denial of reality and “crazy-
making” comes from an entire religious or political community.
Again, this is especially true of people born or raised in cultic
groups. Some former members may have felt they were in love
with their perpetrator(s), or had been spiritually/psychologically
special or chosen. Furthermore, in my clinical work, I have known
several former members who, at the time of their exploitation,
experienced affection/connection, intense arousal, and even
great sexual pleasure while in the control of their perpetrator(s).
Even just admitting such responses to oneself can be an
excruciating, even traumatic, experience. Such experiences
can greatly complicate sexual recovery and experiences in the
present, and can be a cause of both avoidance of sexual feelings
and experiences (sexual anorexia) and hypersexual behaviors.
My strong tendency is to assist my clients in finding meaning
in their sexual experiences. For some, that may mean feeling in
control, or experiencing the joy of choosing to engage in sexual
acting-out behaviors, even when those behaviors have harmful
consequences.
When working with former members who have experienced
sexual trauma, I cannot emphasize enough the importance
of pacing. For some individuals, the healing process will take
many years and possibly several therapies or therapists. Some
clients, especially those with cultic backgrounds that included
pseudotherapy, quasi-therapy, or
other coercive forms of psychological
interventions in the guise of healing,
may press for quick resolution and
overly intensive treatments. Long
ago, Dr. Linda Dubrow-Marshall and I
noted that, in their quest to heal from
intrusive and overly intensive “healing”
programs, many former New Age
cult members are ironically attracted
to intense weekend workshops and
retreats (Dubrow-Eichel &Dubrow-
Eichel, 1988). On the one hand, this is
understandable nobody wants to be
patient when suffering. But years of
clinical experience and research have
taught us that good treatment almost
always involves learning to tolerate
ambiguity and uncertainty. As many
trauma specialists have noted, “you have to go slow to go fast”
(Walters-Broadway, 2012).
Sex Positivity
As I learned and developed my personal style as a sexuality
counselor/therapist, there was much in my own past I had to
confront and reexamine. I have written in some detail about my
own process elsewhere (Eichel, 2014) I believe the best path to
becoming an effective sex therapist is through the rigorous and
extensive training regimen required by the American Association
of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) to
earn certification as a sex educator, counselor, or therapist (CSE,
CSC, and CST, respectively). That process begins with a Sexual
Attitudes Reassessment (SAR) course that typically lasts 2 days
and involves being exposed to a very broad range of sexual
beliefs and behaviors, and then processing one’s reactions to
this material. The goal is to develop a sex-positive style that
is consistent with one’s personal values. In my work, I accept
the definition of sexual health adopted by the World Health
Organization (WHO):
Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout
life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles,
sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and
The starting point in my work
is always that sex is good and
healthy, and has multiple
purposes and meanings. I seek
to assist my clients in developing
their own, independent set of
attitudes, values…
have experienced significant shame and oppression in their
groups, a period of sexual hyperactivity is fairly common and
can even be highly productive. In therapy, I have found that
firmly maintaining a neutral and nonjudgmental stance—even
with highly risky behaviors (e.g., unprotected sex)—is often the
only way I can facilitate real openness and honesty in my clients,
and that is the single most crucial element for growth. It is only
when my clients realize they can trust that I will remain neutral
and nonjudgmental that I can broach the topic of sexual health
and prevention of disease and pregnancy. This approach, called
harm reduction, is commonly employed in addictions counseling
and has been empirically validated as an effective approach to
dealing with potentially harmful behaviors when clients are not
ready or are unwilling to cease engaging in them altogether
(Hunt, 2016).
Treating Sexual Trauma
Many former cult members have
experienced, directly or vicariously,
sexual abuse, trauma, or exploitation
in their groups. Those born or
raised in cultic environments seem
particularly vulnerable to these
harmful experiences. If a client is
currently experiencing sexual abuse
or exploitation, the therapist needs
to be familiar with his potential
legal obligations in that situation.
In Delaware, for example, I may be
required to report a health
professional (such as a physician or a
therapist) who is sexually exploiting
or has sexually exploited a patient 5
reporting requirements when the
perpetrator is a clergyperson are less clear. Similarly, some states
may require a therapist to report an adult caretaker’s prior sexual
abuse even if the victim is not a minor and is no longer under the
care of or even in contact with that adult.
However, assuming I do not have to report the perpetrator of
sexual abuse, helping my client face and deal with her abuse is
often (but not always!) ultimately necessary for her to recover
or achieve healthy sexual functioning. Growing up in a cultic
environment of secrecy and even conspiratorial complicity often
complicates this healing process. Victims/survivors of cultic
sexual abuse not only feel shame they often struggle with the
gaslighting6 they experienced in the group.
It is bad enough when a family member denies the reality of a
child being sexually abused or exploited imagine the degree
of harm that can occur when the denial of reality and “crazy-
making” comes from an entire religious or political community.
Again, this is especially true of people born or raised in cultic
groups. Some former members may have felt they were in love
with their perpetrator(s), or had been spiritually/psychologically
special or chosen. Furthermore, in my clinical work, I have known
several former members who, at the time of their exploitation,
experienced affection/connection, intense arousal, and even
great sexual pleasure while in the control of their perpetrator(s).
Even just admitting such responses to oneself can be an
excruciating, even traumatic, experience. Such experiences
can greatly complicate sexual recovery and experiences in the
present, and can be a cause of both avoidance of sexual feelings
and experiences (sexual anorexia) and hypersexual behaviors.
My strong tendency is to assist my clients in finding meaning
in their sexual experiences. For some, that may mean feeling in
control, or experiencing the joy of choosing to engage in sexual
acting-out behaviors, even when those behaviors have harmful
consequences.
When working with former members who have experienced
sexual trauma, I cannot emphasize enough the importance
of pacing. For some individuals, the healing process will take
many years and possibly several therapies or therapists. Some
clients, especially those with cultic backgrounds that included
pseudotherapy, quasi-therapy, or
other coercive forms of psychological
interventions in the guise of healing,
may press for quick resolution and
overly intensive treatments. Long
ago, Dr. Linda Dubrow-Marshall and I
noted that, in their quest to heal from
intrusive and overly intensive “healing”
programs, many former New Age
cult members are ironically attracted
to intense weekend workshops and
retreats (Dubrow-Eichel &Dubrow-
Eichel, 1988). On the one hand, this is
understandable nobody wants to be
patient when suffering. But years of
clinical experience and research have
taught us that good treatment almost
always involves learning to tolerate
ambiguity and uncertainty. As many
trauma specialists have noted, “you have to go slow to go fast”
(Walters-Broadway, 2012).
Sex Positivity
As I learned and developed my personal style as a sexuality
counselor/therapist, there was much in my own past I had to
confront and reexamine. I have written in some detail about my
own process elsewhere (Eichel, 2014) I believe the best path to
becoming an effective sex therapist is through the rigorous and
extensive training regimen required by the American Association
of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) to
earn certification as a sex educator, counselor, or therapist (CSE,
CSC, and CST, respectively). That process begins with a Sexual
Attitudes Reassessment (SAR) course that typically lasts 2 days
and involves being exposed to a very broad range of sexual
beliefs and behaviors, and then processing one’s reactions to
this material. The goal is to develop a sex-positive style that
is consistent with one’s personal values. In my work, I accept
the definition of sexual health adopted by the World Health
Organization (WHO):
Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout
life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles,
sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and
The starting point in my work
is always that sex is good and
healthy, and has multiple
purposes and meanings. I seek
to assist my clients in developing
their own, independent set of
attitudes, values…
