18 ICSA TODAY
Distortion: This piece is about love, and the distorted
view I have had of love. Growing up, I learned that
if my parents approved of my self-expression and
decisions, that was love. Through repetition and
constant exposure, the idea that love had conditions
was reinforced in the program: I needed the staff’s
approval, and I confused that approval with the
unconditional love that was denied throughout my
formative years. Once again I chased those small
crumbs of approval to feel human and experience
what I thought was love. The piece shows my
confusion about what love and relationships truly
meant, and how difficult they can be to navigate as an
adult. Each color represents an emotion, scrambled
and overlapping.
What Lies Beneath: Depicts the dark, yet inviting
cave that swallowed my pain and secrets whole. It
is truly a split between what is actually underneath
the painting, and the visual depiction of my torment
while I hid in plain sight. Caves are always of interest
to explore and uncover new spaces. They are cold and
dark but for some, like me, the solitude and darkness
are comforting and represent safety and the hope of
finding an undiscovered self.
Warrior Mind: The mind is our most powerful weapon.
This painting represents my mind, my authentic self. It
depicts the way in which my mind now is free to think,
free to fight, free to explode with ideas and emotions,
and free of fear. It shows my mind ready for battle, the
war that rages within myself, and the way I don armor
to take on the troubled-teen industry as a whole.
While I was at the program, my mind was conditioned,
controlled, and taken hostage. Now that the rightful
owner (me) has released my mind from being held
hostage, I am able to use it to deliver justice and truth
to the industry that held me captive as a “prisoner of
the war on drugs.” This piece was gifted inspiration by
a quote from C.S. Lewis, “My prayer is that when I die,
all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.”
Digital images were photographed by
Ion Zupcu of Zupcu Photography
Distortion: This piece is about love, and the distorted
view I have had of love. Growing up, I learned that
if my parents approved of my self-expression and
decisions, that was love. Through repetition and
constant exposure, the idea that love had conditions
was reinforced in the program: I needed the staff’s
approval, and I confused that approval with the
unconditional love that was denied throughout my
formative years. Once again I chased those small
crumbs of approval to feel human and experience
what I thought was love. The piece shows my
confusion about what love and relationships truly
meant, and how difficult they can be to navigate as an
adult. Each color represents an emotion, scrambled
and overlapping.
What Lies Beneath: Depicts the dark, yet inviting
cave that swallowed my pain and secrets whole. It
is truly a split between what is actually underneath
the painting, and the visual depiction of my torment
while I hid in plain sight. Caves are always of interest
to explore and uncover new spaces. They are cold and
dark but for some, like me, the solitude and darkness
are comforting and represent safety and the hope of
finding an undiscovered self.
Warrior Mind: The mind is our most powerful weapon.
This painting represents my mind, my authentic self. It
depicts the way in which my mind now is free to think,
free to fight, free to explode with ideas and emotions,
and free of fear. It shows my mind ready for battle, the
war that rages within myself, and the way I don armor
to take on the troubled-teen industry as a whole.
While I was at the program, my mind was conditioned,
controlled, and taken hostage. Now that the rightful
owner (me) has released my mind from being held
hostage, I am able to use it to deliver justice and truth
to the industry that held me captive as a “prisoner of
the war on drugs.” This piece was gifted inspiration by
a quote from C.S. Lewis, “My prayer is that when I die,
all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.”
Digital images were photographed by
Ion Zupcu of Zupcu Photography
