16 ICSA TODAY
Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society. (Republished in 1964,
1983 reissued in 1993). New York, NY: W. W. Norton
Erikson, E. (1980). Identity and the life cycle. (Originally
published in 1959.) New York, NY: W. W. Norton.
Erikson, E., &Erikson, J. (1997). The life cycle completed. (First
published in 1982.) [About the ninth stage of psychosocial
development and ”Gerotranscendance.] New York, NY: W.W.
Norton New York, NY: W.W. Norton
Fowler, J. (1995). Stages of faith: The psychology of development
and the quest for meaning. (First published in 1981.) New York,
NY: HarperCollins.
Frankl, V. (2006). Livet måste ha mening (Man’s search for
meaning). Stockholm, Sweden: Natur&Kultur.
Freud, S. (1930/2018). Civilization and its discontents.
(Originally published in German as Das Unbehagen in der
Kultur. Authorized translation by J. Riviere. English translation
by J. Riiere. Paperback, 2010, Eastford, CT: Martino Publishing.
Hardcover, 2018, Pittsburgh, PA: General Press.) Austria:
Internationaler Psychoanalytischer Verlag Wien.
Goldberg, L., Goldberg, W., Henry, R., and Langone, L. (Eds.).
(2017). Cult recovery: A clinician’s guide to working with former
members and families. Bonita Springs, FL: ICSA.
Goleman, D. (2005). Vital lies, simple truths: The psychology of
self-deception. (Originally published in 1985.) New York, NY:
Bantam.
Gonzalez, A., &Willems, P. (2013). Theories in educational
psychology: A concise guide to meaning and practice. Lanham,
MD: R&L Education.
Hari, J. (2018). Lost connections: Uncovering the real causes
of depression and the unexpected solutions. New York, NY:
Bloomsbury USA.
Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On homecoming and belonging. New
York, NY: Twelve/Hachette Book Group.
Kluger, J. (2014). The narcissist next door. New York, NY:
Riverhead Books/Penguin.
Lalich, J. (2004).True believers and charismatic cults. Oakland,
CA: University of California Press.
Langone, M. (Ed.). (1993). Recovery from cults: Help for victims
of psychological and spiritual abuse. New York, NY: Norton.
Langone, M. (2016). Origins and prevention of abuse. ICSA
Today, Vol. 7, No. 3, 11–13. Available online at https://www.
icsahome.com/articles/origins-and-prevention-of-abuse-doc
Lifton, R. J. (1995). Forward. In M. Singer &J. Lalich, Cults in our
midst (xi–xiii). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Lindholm, C. (2002). Culture, charisma and consciousness: The
case of the Rajneeshee. Ethos, 30(4): 357–375.
Lindholm, C. (1990). Charisma. Oxford, UK: Blackwell.
Maslow, A. (1987). Motivation and personality (1st Ed., 1954
2nd Ed., 1970). London, UK: Longman.
Oakes, L. (1997). Prophetic charisma: The psychology of
revolutionary religious personalities. Syracuse, NY: Syracuse
University Press.
Reisman, D., Glazer, N., &Denney, R. (1950). The lonely crowd: A
study of the changing American character. New Haven, CT: Yale
University Press.
Shaw, D. (2014). Traumatic narcissism: Relational systems of
subjugation. New York, NY: Routledge.
Sjöstrand, I. (1973). Samhem: Små nära gemenskaper för
alla: En bok om mänsklig miljö i mänsklig skala (Togetherness
centers: Small local fellowship for everyone: A book about
human environments on a human scale). [A book about
postmodern social isolation the book and theory that
brought me to Sweden, on a Sheldon Traveling Fellowship,
Harvard University.]
Snowman, J., &McCown, R. (2012). Psychology applied to
teaching (13th ed.). Stamford, CT: Cengage Learning.
Tobias, M., &Lalich, J. (1994). Captive hearts, captive minds.
Alameda, CA: Hunter House.
von Hippel, W. (2018). The social leap: The new evolutionary
science of who we are, where we come from and what makes us
happy. New York, NY: Harper Wave.
Weber, M., &Eisenstadt, S. (Ed.). (1968). Charisma and
institution building. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Wilson, E. (2012). The social conquest of earth [based on
Paul Gaugin’s famous mural, “What are we?” Where did we
come from?” Where are we going?”]. New York, NY: Liveright
Publishing London, UK: W. W. Norton.
Wright, R. (1994). The moral animal: Why we are the way we
are: The new science of evolutionary psychology. New York, NY:
Random House.
Zablocki, B. (1980). Alienation and charisma: A study of
contemporary American communes. Glencoe, IL: Free Press.
Zablocki, B., &Robbins, T. (2001). Misunderstanding cults:
Searching For objectivity in a controversial field. Toronto,
Canada: University of Toronto Press.
About the Author
Russell H. Bradshaw, EdD, was Associate
Professor at Lehman College, City University
of New York (retired September 2015). He
has taught psychological and historical
foundations of education and directed the
MA program in Teaching Social Studies: 7–12.
Dr. Bradshaw’s master’s and doctoral dissertations described
alternative-living and child-care arrangements in Sweden
(Samhem and Kollektivhus). During his undergraduate
studies he received a stipendium to live in Samoa he wrote
his honors thesis on religion’s effect on cultural stability and
change in Western Samoan villages. Dr. Bradshaw’s continuing
interest in alternative living and child-care solutions led
him to an intensive experience of a Hindu-based religious
cult in New York City. Dr. Bradshaw has received fellowships
and grants from Wesleyan, Harvard, and Uppsala (Sweden)
universities, and from the City University of New York. He and
his wife Gunilla currently live in Norrtälje, Sweden several
months a year, where they are continuing their work for ICSA’s
New York Educational Outreach Committee. n
By Esther Ruth Friedman
17 VOLUME 11 |ISSUE 1 |2020
I
n 2006, a longtime friend and I were comparing notes on our
respective relationships gone wrong. We were stunned at the
similarities. Both ex-partners employed identical strategies
and vocabulary, as if they were working off of a script from a
How to Control Unsuspecting Romantic Partners training manual.
“How about selfish? Did he pull the ‘You are so selfish!’ card?”
“Yes, that was in the rotation.”
“Did he lie and then accuse you of lying?”
“All the time!”
We wondered, “Is there a secret summer camp on coaching for
aspiring verbal abusers?”
Shortly after that, a new friend invited me to a philosophy
group, and I started attending. The group was engaging
and interesting at first. It offered community and help for
life’s challenges. But 5 years later, I left the group, depressed,
depleted, and lost.
For months after my exit from this cultic group, I obsessed
on my misadventure. Scenes played out, my psyche a private
movie theater. Locked into my memories, I watched the group
and my ex-boyfriend leverage the same tactics. Obsessive
research on my part followed. I was determined to understand
this phenomenon of abuse, and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired to manipulate others through the
natural psychological makeup and social needs of those they
manipulate. Frankly, I have been motivated by anger, but also
more philosophical questions: Why the need for power, control,
and hierarchy? Will there ever be a day in human history when
that need disappears?
I was determined to
understand this
phenomenon of abuse,
and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired
to manipulate others…
By Esther Ruth
Domestic
Abuse
and
Coercive
Control
Reflections Upon Attending
ICSA’s 2018 Conference:
Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society. (Republished in 1964,
1983 reissued in 1993). New York, NY: W. W. Norton
Erikson, E. (1980). Identity and the life cycle. (Originally
published in 1959.) New York, NY: W. W. Norton.
Erikson, E., &Erikson, J. (1997). The life cycle completed. (First
published in 1982.) [About the ninth stage of psychosocial
development and ”Gerotranscendance.] New York, NY: W.W.
Norton New York, NY: W.W. Norton
Fowler, J. (1995). Stages of faith: The psychology of development
and the quest for meaning. (First published in 1981.) New York,
NY: HarperCollins.
Frankl, V. (2006). Livet måste ha mening (Man’s search for
meaning). Stockholm, Sweden: Natur&Kultur.
Freud, S. (1930/2018). Civilization and its discontents.
(Originally published in German as Das Unbehagen in der
Kultur. Authorized translation by J. Riviere. English translation
by J. Riiere. Paperback, 2010, Eastford, CT: Martino Publishing.
Hardcover, 2018, Pittsburgh, PA: General Press.) Austria:
Internationaler Psychoanalytischer Verlag Wien.
Goldberg, L., Goldberg, W., Henry, R., and Langone, L. (Eds.).
(2017). Cult recovery: A clinician’s guide to working with former
members and families. Bonita Springs, FL: ICSA.
Goleman, D. (2005). Vital lies, simple truths: The psychology of
self-deception. (Originally published in 1985.) New York, NY:
Bantam.
Gonzalez, A., &Willems, P. (2013). Theories in educational
psychology: A concise guide to meaning and practice. Lanham,
MD: R&L Education.
Hari, J. (2018). Lost connections: Uncovering the real causes
of depression and the unexpected solutions. New York, NY:
Bloomsbury USA.
Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On homecoming and belonging. New
York, NY: Twelve/Hachette Book Group.
Kluger, J. (2014). The narcissist next door. New York, NY:
Riverhead Books/Penguin.
Lalich, J. (2004).True believers and charismatic cults. Oakland,
CA: University of California Press.
Langone, M. (Ed.). (1993). Recovery from cults: Help for victims
of psychological and spiritual abuse. New York, NY: Norton.
Langone, M. (2016). Origins and prevention of abuse. ICSA
Today, Vol. 7, No. 3, 11–13. Available online at https://www.
icsahome.com/articles/origins-and-prevention-of-abuse-doc
Lifton, R. J. (1995). Forward. In M. Singer &J. Lalich, Cults in our
midst (xi–xiii). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Lindholm, C. (2002). Culture, charisma and consciousness: The
case of the Rajneeshee. Ethos, 30(4): 357–375.
Lindholm, C. (1990). Charisma. Oxford, UK: Blackwell.
Maslow, A. (1987). Motivation and personality (1st Ed., 1954
2nd Ed., 1970). London, UK: Longman.
Oakes, L. (1997). Prophetic charisma: The psychology of
revolutionary religious personalities. Syracuse, NY: Syracuse
University Press.
Reisman, D., Glazer, N., &Denney, R. (1950). The lonely crowd: A
study of the changing American character. New Haven, CT: Yale
University Press.
Shaw, D. (2014). Traumatic narcissism: Relational systems of
subjugation. New York, NY: Routledge.
Sjöstrand, I. (1973). Samhem: Små nära gemenskaper för
alla: En bok om mänsklig miljö i mänsklig skala (Togetherness
centers: Small local fellowship for everyone: A book about
human environments on a human scale). [A book about
postmodern social isolation the book and theory that
brought me to Sweden, on a Sheldon Traveling Fellowship,
Harvard University.]
Snowman, J., &McCown, R. (2012). Psychology applied to
teaching (13th ed.). Stamford, CT: Cengage Learning.
Tobias, M., &Lalich, J. (1994). Captive hearts, captive minds.
Alameda, CA: Hunter House.
von Hippel, W. (2018). The social leap: The new evolutionary
science of who we are, where we come from and what makes us
happy. New York, NY: Harper Wave.
Weber, M., &Eisenstadt, S. (Ed.). (1968). Charisma and
institution building. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Wilson, E. (2012). The social conquest of earth [based on
Paul Gaugin’s famous mural, “What are we?” Where did we
come from?” Where are we going?”]. New York, NY: Liveright
Publishing London, UK: W. W. Norton.
Wright, R. (1994). The moral animal: Why we are the way we
are: The new science of evolutionary psychology. New York, NY:
Random House.
Zablocki, B. (1980). Alienation and charisma: A study of
contemporary American communes. Glencoe, IL: Free Press.
Zablocki, B., &Robbins, T. (2001). Misunderstanding cults:
Searching For objectivity in a controversial field. Toronto,
Canada: University of Toronto Press.
About the Author
Russell H. Bradshaw, EdD, was Associate
Professor at Lehman College, City University
of New York (retired September 2015). He
has taught psychological and historical
foundations of education and directed the
MA program in Teaching Social Studies: 7–12.
Dr. Bradshaw’s master’s and doctoral dissertations described
alternative-living and child-care arrangements in Sweden
(Samhem and Kollektivhus). During his undergraduate
studies he received a stipendium to live in Samoa he wrote
his honors thesis on religion’s effect on cultural stability and
change in Western Samoan villages. Dr. Bradshaw’s continuing
interest in alternative living and child-care solutions led
him to an intensive experience of a Hindu-based religious
cult in New York City. Dr. Bradshaw has received fellowships
and grants from Wesleyan, Harvard, and Uppsala (Sweden)
universities, and from the City University of New York. He and
his wife Gunilla currently live in Norrtälje, Sweden several
months a year, where they are continuing their work for ICSA’s
New York Educational Outreach Committee. n
By Esther Ruth Friedman
17 VOLUME 11 |ISSUE 1 |2020
I
n 2006, a longtime friend and I were comparing notes on our
respective relationships gone wrong. We were stunned at the
similarities. Both ex-partners employed identical strategies
and vocabulary, as if they were working off of a script from a
How to Control Unsuspecting Romantic Partners training manual.
“How about selfish? Did he pull the ‘You are so selfish!’ card?”
“Yes, that was in the rotation.”
“Did he lie and then accuse you of lying?”
“All the time!”
We wondered, “Is there a secret summer camp on coaching for
aspiring verbal abusers?”
Shortly after that, a new friend invited me to a philosophy
group, and I started attending. The group was engaging
and interesting at first. It offered community and help for
life’s challenges. But 5 years later, I left the group, depressed,
depleted, and lost.
For months after my exit from this cultic group, I obsessed
on my misadventure. Scenes played out, my psyche a private
movie theater. Locked into my memories, I watched the group
and my ex-boyfriend leverage the same tactics. Obsessive
research on my part followed. I was determined to understand
this phenomenon of abuse, and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired to manipulate others through the
natural psychological makeup and social needs of those they
manipulate. Frankly, I have been motivated by anger, but also
more philosophical questions: Why the need for power, control,
and hierarchy? Will there ever be a day in human history when
that need disappears?
I was determined to
understand this
phenomenon of abuse,
and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired
to manipulate others…
By Esther Ruth
Domestic
Abuse
and
Coercive
Control
Reflections Upon Attending
ICSA’s 2018 Conference:
