14 ICSA TODAY
trusted acquaintances, and we had experienced the pleasantness
of being accepted by the group, and of being approved of and
stroked both by the guru and other disciples. We felt special,
and we felt kinship. Importantly, the powerful psychological
process of cognitive dissonance was also already at work: We
either rationalized away or developed blinders to discrepant or
disturbing incidents, behaviors, or values. Eventually we learned
of the double morality and deceitfulness of the guru, when we
talked personally to women disciples and read their testimonials
about their sexual abuse at his hands. After all, his “celibacy” was
only self-proclaimed and difficult to authenticate (!).
At the time, I felt I had made a voluntary decision to join this
inspiring, energetic, and idealistic group (“world peace through
inner peace and outer manifestation”). Now I understand that I
was actually recruited by loved ones—family and friends. Yes, I
did make the decision to join but also, with the perspective of
Cialdini’s universal-influence processes, I recognize that I was
unconsciously recruited through liking and social proof. Most
importantly, perhaps, I felt a sense of unity with my wife and
her relatives. We shared so much at this point in our young and
seeking lives, and we were family.
I found fellowship with kindred, serious seekers at the guru’s
ashram. We meditated together and traveled as a group around
the world. We worked long hours, producing flyers, T-shirts,
books, pamphlets, articles, and posters and we translated the
content into many languages. We arranged meetings with world
leaders, celebrities, Nobel prize winners, musicians, athletes, and
politicians. Many of us felt that we had achieved spiritual insights
and made progress: We lived in a spiritual greenhouse! This was a
high point of our young, seeking years.
Many of my best friends today are people I met in this group,
who are now former members. We trained and ran marathons
together, we sang in choirs together, we meditated for many
hours together, we travelled around the world together, we
prepared meals and ate together we manifested together
we guarded (the guru) together at functions and activities
we presented plays we participated in parades and circuses
together. We suffered, celebrated, and made progress together.
Perhaps most importantly, we shared common values, beliefs and
goals—examples of liking, social proof, and unity.
These three influence processes, along with authority, helped to
convince us to accept the genuineness of our leader. We took his
Eastern and exotic ways as proof of his authenticity. Holy men of
every religion, we assumed, were sincere and morally motivated
to help a struggling and suffering humanity. Our guru’s dhotis,
robes, and incense, chanting and singing in Bengali, his hundreds
of books, his meetings with world leaders, his acceptance by
famous celebrities, were all trademarks of his spiritual authority.
In the beginning phase, I was showered with attention,
approval, and encouragement—a treatment often referred
to as love bombing. I was even given presents, money, and
public recognition. I was treated as special. However, after this
introduction, gradually the guru seemed to be stricter my fellow
recruits and I were more confined. We were now selfless servers,
not to expect praise or reward for our actions. For their own
spiritual good, we were even expected to report to the leader
when others became weak or misled, or they misbehaved. This
protocol, we were to understand, was how real leaders acted, for
the spiritual and psychological advancement of their students.
There were many examples of this kind of reasoning (and
rationalizing) in books, in videos, and even in Beatles’ songs.
No One Ever [Knowingly] Joins a Cult
What I have described about my own experience is quite typical
of high-demand, cultic or extremist groups. It is important to
understand that people don’t join groups because or knowing
that they are cults they don’t choose a leader knowing, or
because that individual is deceptive and narcissistic. Rather, their
engagement in a cultic group is usually an unconscious, gradual
process in which they are deceptively persuaded by largely
automatic, unconscious, and evolutionary/hard-wired social-
influence processes, only recognizing later, if they recognize
it at all, that the group and leader are cultic. It is sometimes
suggested that members join these groups because the groups
are so different and exotic yet it is often the case that members
become engaged or stay in cultic groups in spite of, not because
of, the groups’ exotic or unusual aspects. Those are not the main
attraction: Rather, the appeal is the close fellowship, the sense of
unity, and the security of finding what they believe are existential
answers.
Michael Langone’s description of why people join provides a
succinct summary of the flow of cultic and extremist involvement:
…Believing &Belonging (B&B) lead us to seek and
hold on to group affiliations. Groups vary on numerous
dimensions. Individuals vary on numerous dimensions.
Groups that lean toward treating persons as subjects
to be respected rather than objects to be manipulate
may provide positive experiences for individuals
seeking B&B. Groups that lean toward treating persons
as objects to be manipulated rather than subjects to
be respected may exercise unethical levels of control
over those who are vulnerable, for whatever reasons, to
the group’s sales pitches and manipulations. Whether
a person encounters an unethical group that can take
advantage of the person’s vulnerabilities may depend
upon chance factors, on being in the wrong place at
the wrong time… (personal correspondence, August 3,
2019)
In understanding how and why
people may be recruited into cultic
groups, I have found the work of
Robert Cialdini particularly helpful.
VOLUME 11 |ISSUE 1 |2020 1315
Conclusion: Can We Help?
We can alleviate some suffering by helping individuals avoid
joining in the first place, by helping individuals recognize
their own weaknesses and innate needs. This might include,
for example, referring to the Latin myth of Narcissus and the
mountain nymph Echo, whose interactions are presently
interpreted as a metaphor for narcissists and codependents (see
Dan Shaw, 2014). Also, attachment theory can be discussed,
describing how the early interaction of caregiver and infant
can impact adult personality issues that stem from anxious or
ambivalent, instead of secure infant emotional attachment to
the caregiver. We can also conduct more research and better
disseminate information about the misleading and deceptive
nature of narcissistic and charismatic leaders and their cultic
groups. We can require the subjects of critical thinking, Internet
awareness, and social media skills as important elements in
educational curricula.
We can provide knowledgeable, sympathetic counselling for
those exiting cultic and extremist groups. Cultic-group survivors
are often suffering and confused. Members have been, in effect,
gradually brainwashed for a long time. They have been subject
to intense social-influence processes, and have assimilated and
internalized group propaganda and misleading information.
They have built up an alternate view of reality relative to normally
accepted social views. They may have, to varying degrees,
problems reentering normal society and reconnecting with
friends and family.
Unfortunately, however, increased information and education
have not been successful in eliminating cults. Their innate
appeal is too deeply imbedded in us. In times of crisis, stress, and
transition, individuals may wander (or be lured) into a seductive
spider’s web by narcissistic leaders with appealing belief systems
and supportive groups that we otherwise might not have
stumbled into.
In the early 1980s, many of us believed we could eventually
eliminate destructive cultic groups through educational programs
and widespread media coverage. At present, however, rather
than believing we can wipe out cultic groups, we realize we need
to greatly extend our research efforts, including new theory and
research into our hard-wired, primate, evolutionary impulses
and needs (evolutionary psychology). We must reexamine our
widespread and often desperate longing for group fellowship and
the fundamental role of a philosophical, spiritual, even mystical
experience of our lives and our place in the universe. We are now
beginning to focus on educating ourselves and our students
about why, under the right conditions, we may be predisposed to
join these groups. We must also describe how the social-influence
principles, using the cultic dynamic or coercive control, function
to keep us from leaving once we are inside.
As evolved human beings, with all the benefits of being sentient,
psychosocial, and existentially aware, it may not be easy or
attractive to look back at our evolutionary psychological past.
Nevertheless, we must undertake this reflection. Although it
is unlikely that we will eliminate cults, it is within our power to
greatly reduce their influence and harm. n
Note
[1] The classic UFO cult study, When Prophecy Fails (1956), by
Leon Festinger, is a good example of how this important
psychological process functions.
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Bradshaw, R. (2013a). Attachment theory: Freud, Bowlby,
Ainsworth, &Main. Lecture ESC 501, Lehman College, CUNY.
Bradshaw, R. (2013b). Comparative chart of stage theories of
development: Freud, Erikson, Piaget, &Kohlberg. Lecture ESC
301, Lehman College, CUNY.
Burks, R. (2019). Toward a neuroscience of thought reform.
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Cialdini, R. (1984 1993). Influence: The psychology of
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Although it is unlikely that we
will eliminate cults, it is within
our power to greatly reduce
their influence and harm.
16 ICSA TODAY
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About the Author
Russell H. Bradshaw, EdD, was Associate
Professor at Lehman College, City University
of New York (retired September 2015). He
has taught psychological and historical
foundations of education and directed the
MA program in Teaching Social Studies: 7–12.
Dr. Bradshaw’s master’s and doctoral dissertations described
alternative-living and child-care arrangements in Sweden
(Samhem and Kollektivhus). During his undergraduate
studies he received a stipendium to live in Samoa he wrote
his honors thesis on religion’s effect on cultural stability and
change in Western Samoan villages. Dr. Bradshaw’s continuing
interest in alternative living and child-care solutions led
him to an intensive experience of a Hindu-based religious
cult in New York City. Dr. Bradshaw has received fellowships
and grants from Wesleyan, Harvard, and Uppsala (Sweden)
universities, and from the City University of New York. He and
his wife Gunilla currently live in Norrtälje, Sweden several
months a year, where they are continuing their work for ICSA’s
New York Educational Outreach Committee. n
By Esther Ruth Friedman
17 VOLUME 11 |ISSUE 1 |2020
I
n 2006, a longtime friend and I were comparing notes on our
respective relationships gone wrong. We were stunned at the
similarities. Both ex-partners employed identical strategies
and vocabulary, as if they were working off of a script from a
How to Control Unsuspecting Romantic Partners training manual.
“How about selfish? Did he pull the ‘You are so selfish!’ card?”
“Yes, that was in the rotation.”
“Did he lie and then accuse you of lying?”
“All the time!”
We wondered, “Is there a secret summer camp on coaching for
aspiring verbal abusers?”
Shortly after that, a new friend invited me to a philosophy
group, and I started attending. The group was engaging
and interesting at first. It offered community and help for
life’s challenges. But 5 years later, I left the group, depressed,
depleted, and lost.
For months after my exit from this cultic group, I obsessed
on my misadventure. Scenes played out, my psyche a private
movie theater. Locked into my memories, I watched the group
and my ex-boyfriend leverage the same tactics. Obsessive
research on my part followed. I was determined to understand
this phenomenon of abuse, and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired to manipulate others through the
natural psychological makeup and social needs of those they
manipulate. Frankly, I have been motivated by anger, but also
more philosophical questions: Why the need for power, control,
and hierarchy? Will there ever be a day in human history when
that need disappears?
I was determined to
understand this
phenomenon of abuse,
and why some people, for
selfish gains, seem wired
to manipulate others…
By Esther Ruth
Domestic
Abuse
and
Coercive
Control
Reflections Upon Attending
ICSA’s 2018 Conference:
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