“I have survived and rebuilt my life. I am kind and pay my
taxes.”
Wendy Ford Wolfberg’s words, in answer to the question,
“Of what are you most proud?,” unfurl across the page like
a beautifully colored banner. They leave me breathless. She
may not have meant to do so, but I sense behind the deeply
humanistic sentiment a defiance in her words, a splendid
counter to the cultish value system that once enslaved her.
Wendy was a freshman in college, just a young girl, when
she was recruited into The Way International. The group
took 7 years of her young life. Her father, spurred by his
daughter’s situation, got involved with the burgeoning
anticult movement and became a founder of ICSA, then
called the American Family Foundation (AFF).
When Wendy got out of The Way International, she was
faced, as most first-generation or multigeneration survivors
are, with the prospect of building a new life. Often, stripped
of a core belief system, with no way to make sense of
the world, they are faced with the existential void. They
are creating a new paradigm for living, a new manner of
thinking about life.
Wendy found the courage to do this. She healed and started
rebuilding her life, graduating cum laude with a BA from
Harvard University, earning an MEd from Lesley University,
and later a Master’s certification in Instruction Design. She
was the first to write a book on recovery while she was the
New England director for FOCUS, a former-cult-member
support group. The book was entitled Recovering from
Abusive Groups. She went on to work as an instructional
designer for high-end technical network products. Later, she
reconnected with lost parts of herself through choral and
theater work, becoming a cabaret singer and board member
of a local cabaret association. She has a remarkable voice.
Although she worked in a technical field, Wendy thinks
and writes like a poet. She shares her process with us
candidly, fleshing it out with the details in her answers to the
interview questions that follow:
WFW: I believe in the power within Life itself. I used to
picture grass growing through a concrete sidewalk and
remind myself how powerful the very essence of Life is.
Some aspects of life get better over the centuries, some not
so much. But, I worked on staying humble—I don’t know it
all and Life’s not done with us on this planet.
I remember once during recovery when the simplistic
answers of the cult were no longer available and I had
to build a new picture of the world I was in. The endless
problems, selfishness, and greed I saw around me were all so
overwhelming it seemed so futile to try to change anything.
“Why bother?” I wondered. Then, I made peace with the
worst that could happen. “If we all come to an end, then
what?,” I wondered, and I remembered the dinosaurs. After
millions of years, they all died (well, except for the birds) but
life started again. Life pushed through the concrete, so to
speak, and started all over again. “OK,” I thought. “If I do my
best, and if it’s not enough, Life will find a way to start again,
to carry on. I don’t have to save the world any longer, so just
press on,” I resolved.
Over the years, I have built a picture of the interplay of life
forces that is very big. I thought of gravity and how once no
one knew what it was nor could they explain it, much less
write a formula to use it. “How many other forces (“Murphy’s
Law”) are out there waiting to be discovered and tapped?” I
wondered. I’m very good at wondering. It feeds me.
MO: Where did you grow up?
WFW: I grew up on the solid rock and salted, ocean-swept
air in eastern Pennsylvania and Massachusetts with five
brothers and two parents.
10 20
Profile On...
ICSA TODAY
Wendy Ford Wolfberg
Wendy was a freshman
in college, just a young girl,
when she was recruited
into The Way International.
The group took 7 years
of her young life.
taxes.”
Wendy Ford Wolfberg’s words, in answer to the question,
“Of what are you most proud?,” unfurl across the page like
a beautifully colored banner. They leave me breathless. She
may not have meant to do so, but I sense behind the deeply
humanistic sentiment a defiance in her words, a splendid
counter to the cultish value system that once enslaved her.
Wendy was a freshman in college, just a young girl, when
she was recruited into The Way International. The group
took 7 years of her young life. Her father, spurred by his
daughter’s situation, got involved with the burgeoning
anticult movement and became a founder of ICSA, then
called the American Family Foundation (AFF).
When Wendy got out of The Way International, she was
faced, as most first-generation or multigeneration survivors
are, with the prospect of building a new life. Often, stripped
of a core belief system, with no way to make sense of
the world, they are faced with the existential void. They
are creating a new paradigm for living, a new manner of
thinking about life.
Wendy found the courage to do this. She healed and started
rebuilding her life, graduating cum laude with a BA from
Harvard University, earning an MEd from Lesley University,
and later a Master’s certification in Instruction Design. She
was the first to write a book on recovery while she was the
New England director for FOCUS, a former-cult-member
support group. The book was entitled Recovering from
Abusive Groups. She went on to work as an instructional
designer for high-end technical network products. Later, she
reconnected with lost parts of herself through choral and
theater work, becoming a cabaret singer and board member
of a local cabaret association. She has a remarkable voice.
Although she worked in a technical field, Wendy thinks
and writes like a poet. She shares her process with us
candidly, fleshing it out with the details in her answers to the
interview questions that follow:
WFW: I believe in the power within Life itself. I used to
picture grass growing through a concrete sidewalk and
remind myself how powerful the very essence of Life is.
Some aspects of life get better over the centuries, some not
so much. But, I worked on staying humble—I don’t know it
all and Life’s not done with us on this planet.
I remember once during recovery when the simplistic
answers of the cult were no longer available and I had
to build a new picture of the world I was in. The endless
problems, selfishness, and greed I saw around me were all so
overwhelming it seemed so futile to try to change anything.
“Why bother?” I wondered. Then, I made peace with the
worst that could happen. “If we all come to an end, then
what?,” I wondered, and I remembered the dinosaurs. After
millions of years, they all died (well, except for the birds) but
life started again. Life pushed through the concrete, so to
speak, and started all over again. “OK,” I thought. “If I do my
best, and if it’s not enough, Life will find a way to start again,
to carry on. I don’t have to save the world any longer, so just
press on,” I resolved.
Over the years, I have built a picture of the interplay of life
forces that is very big. I thought of gravity and how once no
one knew what it was nor could they explain it, much less
write a formula to use it. “How many other forces (“Murphy’s
Law”) are out there waiting to be discovered and tapped?” I
wondered. I’m very good at wondering. It feeds me.
MO: Where did you grow up?
WFW: I grew up on the solid rock and salted, ocean-swept
air in eastern Pennsylvania and Massachusetts with five
brothers and two parents.
10 20
Profile On...
ICSA TODAY
Wendy Ford Wolfberg
Wendy was a freshman
in college, just a young girl,
when she was recruited
into The Way International.
The group took 7 years
of her young life.
